Motives behind words

Words

Inflection

One without the other makes conversation impossible. Not communication mind you.  Just conversation.  To have a conversation there is inflection in words.  You can take any sentence and change its meaning by inflecting certain words.

For example:
I hate you.   The meaning is there.

I HATE you!  More than likely meaning the act is what is hated over the actual person.

I hate YOU!  Uh ohhhh....now someone is in trouble.

Sometimes it isn't inflection.  It is the words or phrase chosen.  We mask ourselves through what we say.  This is what makes true conversation very complex.

We hide behind our feelings, our inadequacies, our pain.......

When you have ever asked someone what is wrong, and they say nothing - but you know better.  It is usually coupled with the body language.  You can just tell when someone is lying.  Either they can't make eye contact, or they fold their arms.  Whatever it is, it is something that makes them not true to their words. 

Some people are unaware of their translucency.  Some are just in complete denial!

I love to sit and watch interaction.  Just the other day, while picking up at middle school, I see the girls and can tell which are becoming more sexually aware.  Their walk is different, or they develop mannerisms that I am oh so familiar with.  I watched at least a handful of them (not in the same group, or even in the same 5 minutes), sweeping their long hair over to one side of their shoulder.  And it wasn't a careless sweep; it was using both hands in a romantic wave, which just so happened to be accompanied with "that" look in their eyes. 

I recognize it, because I went through it.  And....I giggled. 

These poor girls have no idea the drama they are about to encounter over the next 10 years of their lives.  It's just crazy!!!

As a child I had a  lot of aggression.  Everything was at a level 10.  It started in elementary school.  It was compounded by the fact that I was 4th out of 5 kids.  I had blind wisdom as I had older siblings that I watched and listened to intently.  Surely they would have the answers of the world that I would eventually encounter. 

As I didn't have much guidance from my parents, my siblings and the world were what I relied on.  I guess that is why I am such a people watcher. 

I used to attach myself to my brothers girlfriends.  They have no idea how much they guided me; I watched them most.  I needed them.  I needed guidance and role models.  I didn't really get along with my sister back then, so she wasn't on my list.

I am thankful for my brothers girlfriends, because I learned a lot.  What my brother didn't realize is he chose good girlfriends.  For me, not him.  They didn't work out for him, but they stayed in contact with me.  I learned behind their actions.  And mimicked them. 

As I honed my skills as I got older, I realized motives behind peoples actions.  I realized that we sometimes act against how we feel.  And we do it to protect ourselves.

But what happens if your protective instincts end up hurting or affecting someone else?  What if your simple words cause someone to pull away?  And they don't understand it?  Because they think it is no big deal, or "your just taking it wrong".

Though it is nice for me to be aware, it doesn't help when someone else isn't.  

I wish I could bleed my awareness onto others sometimes, because it is rather painful to sit and watch someone flounder when if they just had the ability to see what was going on they could stop and change their approach.

I find it sad when I meet people and my blatant honesty throws them for a loop.  That means I am rare.
Or maybe just too stupid to not filter myself like so many.  If I had such filters I wouldn't be talking to you lovely people right now, would I?

I won't change who I am.   Not sure I would know where to start.  Life is hard and we need each other, which is why I blog.  If my words help one person every so often to not feel alone, I'm happy.  Too many people feel like they are the inventors of their pain.  Like no one ever felt it before. 

But millions have tread the path before us.  And if we realized that more and learned from their mistakes, we wouldn't have to re-write history with the same stories over and over again. ......

But we do.

Happy Sunday!