Happy Halloween.
The first of the holidays of the season is almost over. Can you believe it? All the planning for the costumes and parties is passed. The meager decorating efforts are about to be taken down and replace by turkeys and fall leaves.
Sometimes I feel like someone pushed the fast forward button on life, and there is no going back.
It has been that way since I can remember, but got worse when I had kids.
There is so much rushing around and planning for four people, not just two; which amplifies the warp speed factor.
My goal this year is to absorb a little more time, and actually share a few nicer moments.
Last night we had mom and Julie over for dinner, and we pulled our camping chairs out front while we watched the girls carve their pumpkins. We enjoyed it so much, we at dinner out front as well.
I had an extra light brought outside and it really felt like a camping effect. Even Chris came out and chatted. It was a really nice evening.
While we chatted, we were talking about kids and conveniences of today. My mom said, "You guys are lucky because you guys have all this electronic stuff that makes everything easier."
I stopped her and said that my children are not lucky, because everything is so easy for them. They don't know what it is to struggle, and their sense of pride will never be what it was when we were growing up.
I honestly believe that there is a cost factor every time the next "easy" thing comes along.
She actually agreed with me.
And as my daughter is sitting here eating last nights Chinese food for breakfast out of a box...I think my point is made. At least on some small level.
Happy Monday.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Quit apologizing....
It seems to me that we are always apologizing for something.
Why do we feel the need to apologize so much?
In some cases, we should most definitely apologize. If we keep someone waiting, if we have spoken rudely, etc...then my all means...apologize.
But sometimes, just sometimes, we need to think about our desire to apologize to another for what we have said. When in fact, what we have spoken is merely what we feel, and should not be requested an excuse.
I find that when I meet people who read my blog, they are almost apologetic that they feel the same way I do, yet are afraid to admit it.
I am met with many people who almost feel their admission is a guilty indulgence when they read my words. Almost as if they wrote them by proxy.
I am thankful that I can write and throw it all out there, without guilt. Because the more I can reach out and let people know (and I shout) YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!.....the more free my soul feels.
To be kept captive by your own thoughts, the more imprisoned you are. We all have feelings. And more often than not; all our feelings are the same at one time or another!!!
My heart hurts when someone is left to feel like they are the inventor of their own painful feelings. It's not true. Most or many of us have felt "your" pain at one time or another in our lives.
It is our pain or trials that connect us to each other. When we hide those feelings, we cheat ourselves the ability to connect with another!
When I start speaking my pains or issues to someone, I am hardly ever surprised when they chime in with their own rendition of what I have gone through.
Don't apologize for who you are or how you feel. Your experience is unique to you. Yet your feelings have been felt by millions before you. And you are never alone. All you have to do at any given time is reach out. And if you don't find what you need the first time, I can pretty much guarantee that you will find it out there if you keep trying.
We are not alone. Never have been. Never will be.
Don't apologize.
Ever!
Happy Sunday.
Why do we feel the need to apologize so much?
In some cases, we should most definitely apologize. If we keep someone waiting, if we have spoken rudely, etc...then my all means...apologize.
But sometimes, just sometimes, we need to think about our desire to apologize to another for what we have said. When in fact, what we have spoken is merely what we feel, and should not be requested an excuse.
I find that when I meet people who read my blog, they are almost apologetic that they feel the same way I do, yet are afraid to admit it.
I am met with many people who almost feel their admission is a guilty indulgence when they read my words. Almost as if they wrote them by proxy.
I am thankful that I can write and throw it all out there, without guilt. Because the more I can reach out and let people know (and I shout) YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!.....the more free my soul feels.
To be kept captive by your own thoughts, the more imprisoned you are. We all have feelings. And more often than not; all our feelings are the same at one time or another!!!
My heart hurts when someone is left to feel like they are the inventor of their own painful feelings. It's not true. Most or many of us have felt "your" pain at one time or another in our lives.
It is our pain or trials that connect us to each other. When we hide those feelings, we cheat ourselves the ability to connect with another!
When I start speaking my pains or issues to someone, I am hardly ever surprised when they chime in with their own rendition of what I have gone through.
Don't apologize for who you are or how you feel. Your experience is unique to you. Yet your feelings have been felt by millions before you. And you are never alone. All you have to do at any given time is reach out. And if you don't find what you need the first time, I can pretty much guarantee that you will find it out there if you keep trying.
We are not alone. Never have been. Never will be.
Don't apologize.
Ever!
Happy Sunday.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Good to bad in an instant
Last night was a really nice evening......and then it went downhill fast.
As parents your lives move in a flash. It is time spent shuffling kids back and forth in between working and trying to keep the house together. You almost feel like two people passing in the night. There is a lot of juggling going on.
So, a date night is something that comes few and far between.
Last night we called in the grandma and asked her to pick up the girls from dance so we could steal off to a movie. A $2 movie.
I dropped off the girls at dance and me Chris at the theater in separate cars. I still had my spider web makeup on my face, because I'd didn't have time to wipe it off and reapply my makeup.
We decided to see the Change Up. Chris and I rarely agree on movies, but we do agree on some characters. Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds are on our list. So we went. Even though we knew it got panned by critics. We were happy if we laughed just once! (go in with low expectations; that is what I say! No where to go but up.)
Though some parts of the movie were beyond crude (and I mean beyond crude), we laughed a lot! Totally worth the price of admission! (at $2 I don't care if it is just a nap...)
Afterwards we went to Boneheads and split an appetizer and a dinner. It was amazing!
And then we walked around and talked a bit. And not all about the kids, which was great. He caught me up on his work, and we talked about my work, and we really had a nice time. I even made him sit down while I threw my legs over his and sat for a while. I am surprised he didn't start twitching.
It was so nice to not be running around. It has been a long time.
As usual, we got anxious to get the girls. We went and picked them up from grandmas, and as usual, they were hiding under her coffee table when we came in. I will be so sad when they don't fit anymore.
After we for home we laid down upstairs and all watched Zookeeper with Kevin James. Not my first choice, but it was more about spending time together as a family. It was nice, once again, to just chill.
What a great night!
Then, as we were getting the girls off to bed, Aspen (who is under the weather) starts crying hysterically because she can't find her retainer. Panic started happening because I told her if she loses her retainer, I will have to take her off dance team to pay for it (never imagining I would have to use that card).
This is where everything changed. We stopped everything and scoured the house. She though she left it on a paper towel and that it got thrown away. She was frantic and coughing like a seal, because she is starting to get sick.
It was awful. The mood in the house turned, and as we ran through the house digging through everything we were no where near the happy content family of a few minutes ago.
Eventually we found the retainer. But the damage was done. She couldn't calm down, and she went to bed thinking we were angry with her. And we weren't. We were sad that the night took a turn so quickly.
I woke up this morning and snuggled into bed with her. I kissed her and let her know I loved her. All is fine in the house today and we are all working on costumes and 'stuff'.
Don't take for granted those precious moments: because just like anything else, they are fleeting.
Happy Saturday!
As parents your lives move in a flash. It is time spent shuffling kids back and forth in between working and trying to keep the house together. You almost feel like two people passing in the night. There is a lot of juggling going on.
So, a date night is something that comes few and far between.
Last night we called in the grandma and asked her to pick up the girls from dance so we could steal off to a movie. A $2 movie.
I dropped off the girls at dance and me Chris at the theater in separate cars. I still had my spider web makeup on my face, because I'd didn't have time to wipe it off and reapply my makeup.
We decided to see the Change Up. Chris and I rarely agree on movies, but we do agree on some characters. Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds are on our list. So we went. Even though we knew it got panned by critics. We were happy if we laughed just once! (go in with low expectations; that is what I say! No where to go but up.)
Though some parts of the movie were beyond crude (and I mean beyond crude), we laughed a lot! Totally worth the price of admission! (at $2 I don't care if it is just a nap...)
Afterwards we went to Boneheads and split an appetizer and a dinner. It was amazing!
And then we walked around and talked a bit. And not all about the kids, which was great. He caught me up on his work, and we talked about my work, and we really had a nice time. I even made him sit down while I threw my legs over his and sat for a while. I am surprised he didn't start twitching.
It was so nice to not be running around. It has been a long time.
As usual, we got anxious to get the girls. We went and picked them up from grandmas, and as usual, they were hiding under her coffee table when we came in. I will be so sad when they don't fit anymore.
After we for home we laid down upstairs and all watched Zookeeper with Kevin James. Not my first choice, but it was more about spending time together as a family. It was nice, once again, to just chill.
What a great night!
Then, as we were getting the girls off to bed, Aspen (who is under the weather) starts crying hysterically because she can't find her retainer. Panic started happening because I told her if she loses her retainer, I will have to take her off dance team to pay for it (never imagining I would have to use that card).
This is where everything changed. We stopped everything and scoured the house. She though she left it on a paper towel and that it got thrown away. She was frantic and coughing like a seal, because she is starting to get sick.
It was awful. The mood in the house turned, and as we ran through the house digging through everything we were no where near the happy content family of a few minutes ago.
Eventually we found the retainer. But the damage was done. She couldn't calm down, and she went to bed thinking we were angry with her. And we weren't. We were sad that the night took a turn so quickly.
I woke up this morning and snuggled into bed with her. I kissed her and let her know I loved her. All is fine in the house today and we are all working on costumes and 'stuff'.
Don't take for granted those precious moments: because just like anything else, they are fleeting.
Happy Saturday!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Working hard....and working hard
I was thinking of my dad recently. Well...truthfully, I think about him all the time.
I wonder what he would think of me, my life, and my children. I know for a fact that he would get a kick out of my girls. Aspen is a sweet, huggy love, and Avery is just like me, which would give him great pleasure.
I know my dad didn't get me...but he totally got me.
I have such strong memories of him. He worked so hard for everything.
When I think of who he was, and how hard he worked; my only regret is that I didn't 'get' it at the time.
He was skilled in everything from sewing, to fixing cars to woodworking, electrical and masonry. I knew back then that he was special. I didn't know any other dads that had his capabilities. He was also good at math, history, physics...and cooking.
Oh...and sprinklers.....
it seemed every weekend there was a sprinkler that needed fixed. (Even though he put the boys to that!)
Our house was always busy fixing or cleaning. We all had to pitch in and help out. There was a lot to do and five kids to help out.
I wish I spent more time hanging with my dad and learning some of his trades. I truly had no concept.
When I think about people today who work hard, I can't help but think of my dad and see everyone coming up short.
Everyone!
As a patent Attorney who had five kids and all those trades under his belt....the man never rested.
Today we have all sorts of service workers who charge nominal prices to do the things we either don't want to do, or don't have time to do. How lucky are we, right?
But I think something is profoundly lost in the handing it over to someone else. I never thought I would be embarrassed to say I don't have a cleaning lady. At one time I was one of only a few who didn't. Can you imagine? Being ashamed that you are the one cleaning your own house (or in my case "not cleaning" as it were).
My husband is one of those "hirers". He finds more value in is time so he lets someone else do things for him. Even cleaning his car. Last time, I have to say I actually found the value in his thought process. As I sent the girls out to clean my car (because they have fun getting wet), I came out and saw spots everywhere. They can't reach the windows, let alone the roof. So as the spots had already dried, I was in trouble. I was gonna have to start all over again. So I took it to the drive through and figured I would use their vaccuum and get it done quicker. Not only did the stupid carwash scratch my car; when I went to vaccuum the hose was too short, I would have had to turn my car 3 times to fit the hose in my car. So in the end, I went home, dried off my car and used my own vaccuum to finish the job.....ughhhhhh..... But it was done.
There are times it is nice to have someone else do something for you. But there is a lot of value in being able to do it yourself. I miss all that my dad had to offer. There is a true sense of pride in looking at a job well done and knowing that you did it! When we hand our jobs to everyone else, we cut ourselves short in some way.
Not that I wouldn't hire everyone to do everything for me if I had enough money.
I'm just sayin'......!!!
Happy Friday!!!
I wonder what he would think of me, my life, and my children. I know for a fact that he would get a kick out of my girls. Aspen is a sweet, huggy love, and Avery is just like me, which would give him great pleasure.
I know my dad didn't get me...but he totally got me.
I have such strong memories of him. He worked so hard for everything.
When I think of who he was, and how hard he worked; my only regret is that I didn't 'get' it at the time.
He was skilled in everything from sewing, to fixing cars to woodworking, electrical and masonry. I knew back then that he was special. I didn't know any other dads that had his capabilities. He was also good at math, history, physics...and cooking.
Oh...and sprinklers.....
it seemed every weekend there was a sprinkler that needed fixed. (Even though he put the boys to that!)
Our house was always busy fixing or cleaning. We all had to pitch in and help out. There was a lot to do and five kids to help out.
I wish I spent more time hanging with my dad and learning some of his trades. I truly had no concept.
When I think about people today who work hard, I can't help but think of my dad and see everyone coming up short.
Everyone!
As a patent Attorney who had five kids and all those trades under his belt....the man never rested.
Today we have all sorts of service workers who charge nominal prices to do the things we either don't want to do, or don't have time to do. How lucky are we, right?
But I think something is profoundly lost in the handing it over to someone else. I never thought I would be embarrassed to say I don't have a cleaning lady. At one time I was one of only a few who didn't. Can you imagine? Being ashamed that you are the one cleaning your own house (or in my case "not cleaning" as it were).
My husband is one of those "hirers". He finds more value in is time so he lets someone else do things for him. Even cleaning his car. Last time, I have to say I actually found the value in his thought process. As I sent the girls out to clean my car (because they have fun getting wet), I came out and saw spots everywhere. They can't reach the windows, let alone the roof. So as the spots had already dried, I was in trouble. I was gonna have to start all over again. So I took it to the drive through and figured I would use their vaccuum and get it done quicker. Not only did the stupid carwash scratch my car; when I went to vaccuum the hose was too short, I would have had to turn my car 3 times to fit the hose in my car. So in the end, I went home, dried off my car and used my own vaccuum to finish the job.....ughhhhhh..... But it was done.
There are times it is nice to have someone else do something for you. But there is a lot of value in being able to do it yourself. I miss all that my dad had to offer. There is a true sense of pride in looking at a job well done and knowing that you did it! When we hand our jobs to everyone else, we cut ourselves short in some way.
Not that I wouldn't hire everyone to do everything for me if I had enough money.
I'm just sayin'......!!!
Happy Friday!!!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Stuff....just stuff
This morning as I am eating breakfast, I look down at my table and see a few big "new" scratches in it. They are deep, as though someone put effort into it. I'm instantly set off in the way my parents would be when they found something marred or broken in their house!
It amazes me the level of oblivion kids live in! Totally unaware of scratches and scrapes they create by mindless toiling!
Immediately upon stating my disdain, I hear a "not me" flying out of the mouth of my youngest. Of course she didn't do it. And if I ask my older daughter, I know she didn't do it either.
As a child the Family Circus had a comic strip and there was a ghost that ran around in a sheet with "Not Me" written on it. I didn't realize that ghost was real and lives in my house! But I guess it does.
I knew a long time ago, that while you have children in your house, it is not really worth it to own anything that you put much value in. Either that, or training them "no touch" and all but beating them when they go near!
And since I don't find value in buying something we can't touch, I suffer to consequences of their oblivion every day!
As my car is barely a few months old; it already has scratches in the upholstery....or shall I say Leather!
As I was doing carpool one day, I picked up one of the kids who had a music instrument in a metal case, which, you guessed it; made contact with my brand new car. As he was getting in, he hit my car with his metal case. I all but came out of my skin!
But then I am constantly reminded of something.....it's all just "stuff". Not that it shouldn't be taken care of; but I have to realize I need to put my value in things that really count!
When I bought my very first car all by myself, with no help from anyone; it was a very proud day. I couldn't have been more excited and more full of myself and my purchase. I worked really hard for it. And within two months; that car was keyed down the drivers side......all....the....way.....
As I couldn't afford to get it fixed, the key marks stayed.
I realized then that how much you pay for something is not directly proportional to how sturdy and "safe" it will be. Bottom line is; it's all the same. It can all break, or be trashed by some oblivious human being at any moment. And the more stock you put in it and the more valuable it becomes in your mind, the more vulnerable it is and the more something else suffers in your life!
I am angry about my table, because we are stuck with it for a while. My heart is sad that the one major purchase we have made in recent years is reduced to a kids cutting table and a ghost named "Not Me" is to blame.
I'm not saying there won't be hell to pay when I find this little ghost....but at least my kids are healthy and thriving.
Happy Thursday
It amazes me the level of oblivion kids live in! Totally unaware of scratches and scrapes they create by mindless toiling!
Immediately upon stating my disdain, I hear a "not me" flying out of the mouth of my youngest. Of course she didn't do it. And if I ask my older daughter, I know she didn't do it either.
As a child the Family Circus had a comic strip and there was a ghost that ran around in a sheet with "Not Me" written on it. I didn't realize that ghost was real and lives in my house! But I guess it does.
I knew a long time ago, that while you have children in your house, it is not really worth it to own anything that you put much value in. Either that, or training them "no touch" and all but beating them when they go near!
And since I don't find value in buying something we can't touch, I suffer to consequences of their oblivion every day!
As my car is barely a few months old; it already has scratches in the upholstery....or shall I say Leather!
As I was doing carpool one day, I picked up one of the kids who had a music instrument in a metal case, which, you guessed it; made contact with my brand new car. As he was getting in, he hit my car with his metal case. I all but came out of my skin!
But then I am constantly reminded of something.....it's all just "stuff". Not that it shouldn't be taken care of; but I have to realize I need to put my value in things that really count!
When I bought my very first car all by myself, with no help from anyone; it was a very proud day. I couldn't have been more excited and more full of myself and my purchase. I worked really hard for it. And within two months; that car was keyed down the drivers side......all....the....way.....
As I couldn't afford to get it fixed, the key marks stayed.
I realized then that how much you pay for something is not directly proportional to how sturdy and "safe" it will be. Bottom line is; it's all the same. It can all break, or be trashed by some oblivious human being at any moment. And the more stock you put in it and the more valuable it becomes in your mind, the more vulnerable it is and the more something else suffers in your life!
I am angry about my table, because we are stuck with it for a while. My heart is sad that the one major purchase we have made in recent years is reduced to a kids cutting table and a ghost named "Not Me" is to blame.
I'm not saying there won't be hell to pay when I find this little ghost....but at least my kids are healthy and thriving.
Happy Thursday
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Passion and insecurities
I just love hindsight! If I could live in hindsight before it became hindsight, I probably would.......
Last night I was watching an episode of Friends and it took me back to when I was dating Chris.
He was in college, and I was working at the college. That is how we met. He had his group of friends as this was his final year as a student.
When we met, I was a little shy. Or shall I say pretty insecure. I considered his friends "his" friends and I felt a bit like an intruder. Every Thursday night he would go to watch Friends with his friends. I was a little jealous by this. Though he invited me to go, I didn't want to intrude, so I stayed back, angry that he "left" me.
Fast forward almost 2 decades and I see it from a whole other "seasoned" angle.
What he did was healthy. Going with his friends, letting me wallow in my pity. There were times he wouldn't go, but there were times he did.
It's so funny to look back and see yourself and think, "wow....what conversation could I have with that girl now!"
One thing he did tell me when we started dating was that music is was and always will be a part of his life. He said it in no uncertain terms and I thought "Wow....what a jerk!"
But fast forward, I see what he meant. Many of his friends had relationships with girls that got in the way of what they loved and transformed their future. And not in a happy way!
We all need to be who we are and do what we love! NOT what someone else* wants. (*kids under 18, listen to your parents!)
If we go with the assumption that we only get one shot at this life; what good is it if you give it and all its control to someone else (aside from God of course).
I do believe it is our destiny to figure out what our unique offering is to this life. True, life sometimes gets in our way and we veer off course, but if you are literally giving it away to someone else, you are really shortchanging yourself.
I'm thankful that my husband was a bit of a jerk, because in all honesty, if I took his music from him "by request" (and stronghold), our relationship might be one full of resentment and anger and disdain.
And trust me when I say relationships are hard enough without added consequence!
So as I watched Friends last night, I had a moment of gratitude. I'm thankful my husband had his own friends, and I'm thankful he was strong enough in his resolve to protect his passion.
Don't let anyone steal your passion or your vision. It's yours.
Happy Wednesday!
Last night I was watching an episode of Friends and it took me back to when I was dating Chris.
He was in college, and I was working at the college. That is how we met. He had his group of friends as this was his final year as a student.
When we met, I was a little shy. Or shall I say pretty insecure. I considered his friends "his" friends and I felt a bit like an intruder. Every Thursday night he would go to watch Friends with his friends. I was a little jealous by this. Though he invited me to go, I didn't want to intrude, so I stayed back, angry that he "left" me.
Fast forward almost 2 decades and I see it from a whole other "seasoned" angle.
What he did was healthy. Going with his friends, letting me wallow in my pity. There were times he wouldn't go, but there were times he did.
It's so funny to look back and see yourself and think, "wow....what conversation could I have with that girl now!"
One thing he did tell me when we started dating was that music is was and always will be a part of his life. He said it in no uncertain terms and I thought "Wow....what a jerk!"
But fast forward, I see what he meant. Many of his friends had relationships with girls that got in the way of what they loved and transformed their future. And not in a happy way!
We all need to be who we are and do what we love! NOT what someone else* wants. (*kids under 18, listen to your parents!)
If we go with the assumption that we only get one shot at this life; what good is it if you give it and all its control to someone else (aside from God of course).
I do believe it is our destiny to figure out what our unique offering is to this life. True, life sometimes gets in our way and we veer off course, but if you are literally giving it away to someone else, you are really shortchanging yourself.
I'm thankful that my husband was a bit of a jerk, because in all honesty, if I took his music from him "by request" (and stronghold), our relationship might be one full of resentment and anger and disdain.
And trust me when I say relationships are hard enough without added consequence!
So as I watched Friends last night, I had a moment of gratitude. I'm thankful my husband had his own friends, and I'm thankful he was strong enough in his resolve to protect his passion.
Don't let anyone steal your passion or your vision. It's yours.
Happy Wednesday!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Excuses are like........
I keep dealing with this person who makes excuses every time we talk. And I have to say, it's almost not worth the conversation anymore.
I guess I have been with my husband too long, because I remember once upon a time, I was a bit of an excuse person. I still am to some degree, but I have broken away from it being an instant response, like a sneeze or something.
What I have realized from this one person who makes excuses every time, is, this is the world they live in. They ARE their excuse. And they always have one ready, no matter what.
Well, the sad thing is.....my kids are even on to it.
When you make excuses, you are literally excusing yourself from YOUR OWN ACTIONS!!!
And sometimes there is no excuse! It either IS.....or it ISN'T!
I just want the little issues that I bring up to be corrected, I don't really care why they happened. I find as I get older, I follow that path. I don't really care to re-hash what got us here....I just want to fix it and move on. That is all. I don't want fingers pointed I just want a resolution!!!
Yesterday I was having a conversation with them, and the thing that made me saddest is the level of protection they have for themselves. They instantly go into "I'm being attacked" and follow suit with whatever will get them out of the hole.
I took a moment and stated, "I don't really care what happened, and we are not mad here; we just want to see how we can correct this going forward. If we talk about it, then no one will walk around in resentment, because it is 'out there' and we can fix it".
After this statement, they calmed down a bit. But they were still upset that they were being pinpointed.
The truth is, if you hide behind a veil of any sort, eventually you will be figured out!
My whole goal in life is to find the little engine that drives you. We all do stupid things and we are not alone. AND.....we will protect ourselves at every turn, because if we don,t then who will????
Now this person I refer to is just a kid. But I have seen "Just" kids grow up into "just" adults. And I want so badly to have a heart to heart with this kid, but I fear it will offend the parents, so I will just deal one issue at a time. I have my own kids to worry about!
But just keep in mind; if you are making excuses all the time, what are you really hiding?
Happy Tuesday!
I guess I have been with my husband too long, because I remember once upon a time, I was a bit of an excuse person. I still am to some degree, but I have broken away from it being an instant response, like a sneeze or something.
What I have realized from this one person who makes excuses every time, is, this is the world they live in. They ARE their excuse. And they always have one ready, no matter what.
Well, the sad thing is.....my kids are even on to it.
When you make excuses, you are literally excusing yourself from YOUR OWN ACTIONS!!!
And sometimes there is no excuse! It either IS.....or it ISN'T!
I just want the little issues that I bring up to be corrected, I don't really care why they happened. I find as I get older, I follow that path. I don't really care to re-hash what got us here....I just want to fix it and move on. That is all. I don't want fingers pointed I just want a resolution!!!
Yesterday I was having a conversation with them, and the thing that made me saddest is the level of protection they have for themselves. They instantly go into "I'm being attacked" and follow suit with whatever will get them out of the hole.
I took a moment and stated, "I don't really care what happened, and we are not mad here; we just want to see how we can correct this going forward. If we talk about it, then no one will walk around in resentment, because it is 'out there' and we can fix it".
After this statement, they calmed down a bit. But they were still upset that they were being pinpointed.
The truth is, if you hide behind a veil of any sort, eventually you will be figured out!
My whole goal in life is to find the little engine that drives you. We all do stupid things and we are not alone. AND.....we will protect ourselves at every turn, because if we don,t then who will????
Now this person I refer to is just a kid. But I have seen "Just" kids grow up into "just" adults. And I want so badly to have a heart to heart with this kid, but I fear it will offend the parents, so I will just deal one issue at a time. I have my own kids to worry about!
But just keep in mind; if you are making excuses all the time, what are you really hiding?
Happy Tuesday!
Monday, October 24, 2011
awards and accolades
Yesterday was our annual awards meeting for Weight Watchers. It is the one time of year that all the leaders and receptionists get together and actually get to sit down and visit.
Weight Watchers isn't like a typical job, where you go into the office and see everyone. For all the meetings we have, we pass each other on the road and never see each other or get to visit unless we make an effort to do so.
It was really great seeing the lady who was my leader, and get to visit for a few.
The ceremony was quite long and many awards were handed out. Last year I got Diamond Leader, which is quite the honor as it is only the top 20% of leaders in the district.
This year, I didn't get Diamond leader. But I got something more special. I got an award for helping someone to lose 100lbs or more. It came in the form of a necklace, and I put it on right away!
I kept touching it throughout the meeting. It meant so much to me. This is about one member and almost 3 years of her life trying to get to this point. I represented so much to me and meant the world to me. Because this is why I do this job! To get people to realize we have to work hard to achieve our goals. And when they do, it's a dual celebration
I brought home my award around my neck and I shared it with my family. They know all about my 100lb "loss" member as I was elated when she reached it. It's a big deal!
I actually have another member who is getting close to her 100lbs as well. She is very excited and has worked very hard. It hasn't taken her quite as long as my other member, but she is a bit younger and more agile, and extremely focused.
I get to help people change their lives and I honestly couldn't be more thrilled with their stories.
Though I got the 100lb award, I really couldn't help but want to hand it off to my member who did all the work. But I was encouraged to keep it as a reminder of what I get to do.
So, I will wear it proudly while sharing the honors with my members!
Happy Monday!
Weight Watchers isn't like a typical job, where you go into the office and see everyone. For all the meetings we have, we pass each other on the road and never see each other or get to visit unless we make an effort to do so.
It was really great seeing the lady who was my leader, and get to visit for a few.
The ceremony was quite long and many awards were handed out. Last year I got Diamond Leader, which is quite the honor as it is only the top 20% of leaders in the district.
This year, I didn't get Diamond leader. But I got something more special. I got an award for helping someone to lose 100lbs or more. It came in the form of a necklace, and I put it on right away!
I kept touching it throughout the meeting. It meant so much to me. This is about one member and almost 3 years of her life trying to get to this point. I represented so much to me and meant the world to me. Because this is why I do this job! To get people to realize we have to work hard to achieve our goals. And when they do, it's a dual celebration
I brought home my award around my neck and I shared it with my family. They know all about my 100lb "loss" member as I was elated when she reached it. It's a big deal!
I actually have another member who is getting close to her 100lbs as well. She is very excited and has worked very hard. It hasn't taken her quite as long as my other member, but she is a bit younger and more agile, and extremely focused.
I get to help people change their lives and I honestly couldn't be more thrilled with their stories.
Though I got the 100lb award, I really couldn't help but want to hand it off to my member who did all the work. But I was encouraged to keep it as a reminder of what I get to do.
So, I will wear it proudly while sharing the honors with my members!
Happy Monday!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Comfortable in the Un-comfortable!
Something stuck with me yesterday at that conference with Dr. Oz.
The part where he said: Be comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Too many times we become complacent in our lives; never venturing out. I think its human nature. We can't wait to get ourselves into a rut, so we can complain about it.
But we need to venture out in order to grow.
But we don't.
And when we do, we complain, or get scared and shimmy right back into the "known".
I went walking with my mom one day, trying to get her to exercise a bit; and she complained about her hips hurting and how she was out of breath.
I remember feeling this way when I started working out. So I told her, that the pain gets better the more we "use" our bodies and the breathing will get easier too (mind you she is 70 years old and I was NOT pushing her hard; just a small bit out of her comfort zone).
I sensed that she was almost scared. Not out of her wits, just, nervous. As I talked to her more, she seemed to ease a bit; and in the end we accomplished our goal for the day.
Now; she has THAT history to fall back on when she wants to go a little farther.
I remember the first time I went to my friends gym to do boot camp; and she walked me over to the bathroom and said, "Here...in case you need to throw up, the bathroom is here!"
WHHHAAAAAAA???????
Thankfully, I never had to use it, nor ever had the desire, but I have always had the fear that one day I would have to use it. So as a result, I don't push myself as hard as I probably should.
Sometimes you just have to realize, "you won't die" if you are pushing yourself a bit. I heard this once, and it resonated with me. So, when I work out and I'm feeling weak, or I don't want to push myself, I pull out my little mantra "you won't die" and I keep going.
So far....no death! YAY!
The upside of pushing yourself a bit is that you realize you CAN do it! And then you feel that joy that goes along with it. That sense of accomplishment. And the more you do it, the more you feel it.
The byproduct of that sense of accomplishment is better health....and usually weight loss....
Just sayin'!
Happy Sunday!
The part where he said: Be comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Too many times we become complacent in our lives; never venturing out. I think its human nature. We can't wait to get ourselves into a rut, so we can complain about it.
But we need to venture out in order to grow.
But we don't.
And when we do, we complain, or get scared and shimmy right back into the "known".
I went walking with my mom one day, trying to get her to exercise a bit; and she complained about her hips hurting and how she was out of breath.
I remember feeling this way when I started working out. So I told her, that the pain gets better the more we "use" our bodies and the breathing will get easier too (mind you she is 70 years old and I was NOT pushing her hard; just a small bit out of her comfort zone).
I sensed that she was almost scared. Not out of her wits, just, nervous. As I talked to her more, she seemed to ease a bit; and in the end we accomplished our goal for the day.
Now; she has THAT history to fall back on when she wants to go a little farther.
I remember the first time I went to my friends gym to do boot camp; and she walked me over to the bathroom and said, "Here...in case you need to throw up, the bathroom is here!"
WHHHAAAAAAA???????
Thankfully, I never had to use it, nor ever had the desire, but I have always had the fear that one day I would have to use it. So as a result, I don't push myself as hard as I probably should.
Sometimes you just have to realize, "you won't die" if you are pushing yourself a bit. I heard this once, and it resonated with me. So, when I work out and I'm feeling weak, or I don't want to push myself, I pull out my little mantra "you won't die" and I keep going.
So far....no death! YAY!
The upside of pushing yourself a bit is that you realize you CAN do it! And then you feel that joy that goes along with it. That sense of accomplishment. And the more you do it, the more you feel it.
The byproduct of that sense of accomplishment is better health....and usually weight loss....
Just sayin'!
Happy Sunday!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
The power of community and determination
Twice this week I was told of a meeting at our church with Dr. Oz. Both were from members of mine.
I had heard about it but forgot; and was glad that they reminded me.
At Saddleback, he is part of "The Daniel Plan" which is a christian based program to help people live healthier lives. At Saddleback, he groups with Dr. Amen and Dr. Hymen (as well as Rick Warren) to help educate people about the effects of unhealthy living, and how we can bring vitality back to our lives by making better choices.
Nationally, Dr. Oz is working through his TV show, creating "Transformation Nation". With this program, he has paired up with Weight Watchers to help transform Obesity from an epidemic to an extinct concept!
At this moment in time, I LOVE this man!!!!
At Saddleback today, I was saved a seat by one of my members. As I woke up late, I was going to miss this event, because I hate crowds and I hate looking for parking spaces. However, my member was kind enough to encourage me to get there whenever I could.
This was an amazing event. The Daniel Plan was kicked off 9 months ago. As it turns out a friend of mine was there to speak on stage, because with the Daniel Plan, she has lost 40lbs. I was so thrilled to witness this.
As we listened to the panel of Drs. speak, I wrote notes. Here is what I wrote:
Rick has lost 10 inches off his waist and he's looking fantastic. But he isn't doing it alone. He has surrounded himself with the necessary community to help him achieve his goals!!!
I admit again, I wouldn't have gone if I wasn't encouraged. And because I went, I'm changed forever! My determination is renewed. Information I am knowledgeable of was brought back to the forefront of my brain. And the success of these people made me believe in a nation.
It can be done! Thank you Dr. Oz, and Rick Warren along with Dr. Hymen and Dr. Amen!!!!
Happy Saturday!
I had heard about it but forgot; and was glad that they reminded me.
I am anxious to see Dr. Oz in person, because he is working really hard to make our nation healthier, one person at a time. Or a community at a time. OR....a nation at a time!
At Saddleback, he is part of "The Daniel Plan" which is a christian based program to help people live healthier lives. At Saddleback, he groups with Dr. Amen and Dr. Hymen (as well as Rick Warren) to help educate people about the effects of unhealthy living, and how we can bring vitality back to our lives by making better choices.
Nationally, Dr. Oz is working through his TV show, creating "Transformation Nation". With this program, he has paired up with Weight Watchers to help transform Obesity from an epidemic to an extinct concept!
At this moment in time, I LOVE this man!!!!
At Saddleback today, I was saved a seat by one of my members. As I woke up late, I was going to miss this event, because I hate crowds and I hate looking for parking spaces. However, my member was kind enough to encourage me to get there whenever I could.
Alone, I wouldn't have gone.
With a friend, I went!This was an amazing event. The Daniel Plan was kicked off 9 months ago. As it turns out a friend of mine was there to speak on stage, because with the Daniel Plan, she has lost 40lbs. I was so thrilled to witness this.
As we listened to the panel of Drs. speak, I wrote notes. Here is what I wrote:
- Frailty is the disease! (If we were stronger we could withstand more diseases, but because we are weak, we die easier!)
- Your GENES load the gun of your life. But your LIFESTYLE pulls the trigger! (if you have family history of diabetes; eating poorly will ensure you will get it!)
- Be comfortable with being UNcomfortable (push yourself beyond your comfort zone to get strong and be healthy)
- Success on a program means forgetting you are on a program (don't create a miserable program for yourself. EASE your way into it and grow and change because of it!)
- Good sleep affects your ability to lose weight! (poor sleep creates Carb and bad food cravings)
- Community IS medicine! (typical weight loss alone was 8.9 lbs while those who worked in a group lost 15.7lbs. A support network is beneficial to success!!!)
and my favorite: - The way you think about something determines how well you do!
Rick has lost 10 inches off his waist and he's looking fantastic. But he isn't doing it alone. He has surrounded himself with the necessary community to help him achieve his goals!!!
I admit again, I wouldn't have gone if I wasn't encouraged. And because I went, I'm changed forever! My determination is renewed. Information I am knowledgeable of was brought back to the forefront of my brain. And the success of these people made me believe in a nation.
It can be done! Thank you Dr. Oz, and Rick Warren along with Dr. Hymen and Dr. Amen!!!!
Happy Saturday!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Crackled nails and cockle shells
Three times.
I hit the snooze button three times this morning. It is getting bad. My desire to get up in the morning is waning more and more. I am getting dangerously close to calling in sick for the whole family. Would that be unheard of?
Thursday to Friday is a big run for me. I feel like I wake up Thursday and don't stop until Friday at noon for a two hour break, so I can start again at 2:20 through dinner.
So, it is no wonder hookie is on my brain.
My kids swear I yell at them every morning, but what they don't realize, is by the time I get to the point where I am screaming at them, it is the third or fourth attempt at getting them out of bed. I am like that mealtonin light that starts out dim, and slowly brightens. By the time I yell, I am shining bright.
And then the joys of challenging their wardrobe. It is the highlight of my day. How can it be they have so many clothes that cover the floor of their room, yet they wear the same item multiple times in a week, because they don't have 'anything' to wear.....? Hmmmmmmmm
Yep; I think that justifies the covers over my head hitting the snooze button a few times.
Oh.....I love the morning arguments. The other day I came downstairs and both girls were crying. Something about cereal and fists flying.
I guess it is safe to say we aren't morning people over here.
Though I find it peculiar that it is actually still my favorite time of day.
I just prefer to enjoy it from bed, I guess.
Happy Friday
I hit the snooze button three times this morning. It is getting bad. My desire to get up in the morning is waning more and more. I am getting dangerously close to calling in sick for the whole family. Would that be unheard of?
Thursday to Friday is a big run for me. I feel like I wake up Thursday and don't stop until Friday at noon for a two hour break, so I can start again at 2:20 through dinner.
So, it is no wonder hookie is on my brain.
My kids swear I yell at them every morning, but what they don't realize, is by the time I get to the point where I am screaming at them, it is the third or fourth attempt at getting them out of bed. I am like that mealtonin light that starts out dim, and slowly brightens. By the time I yell, I am shining bright.
And then the joys of challenging their wardrobe. It is the highlight of my day. How can it be they have so many clothes that cover the floor of their room, yet they wear the same item multiple times in a week, because they don't have 'anything' to wear.....? Hmmmmmmmm
Yep; I think that justifies the covers over my head hitting the snooze button a few times.
Oh.....I love the morning arguments. The other day I came downstairs and both girls were crying. Something about cereal and fists flying.
I guess it is safe to say we aren't morning people over here.
Though I find it peculiar that it is actually still my favorite time of day.
I just prefer to enjoy it from bed, I guess.
Happy Friday
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Girfriends and Giving
Yesterday I got volunteered to go to a food drive.
I say I "got" volunteered, because I usually get dragged in by my friends. And I'm totally okay with it. I'm more of a follower than a leader, depending on who you ask.
All my life I have surrounded myself with strong women. Usually women I admire greatly. This was instinctual from an early age. I didn't idealize my mom as much as I idealized these women.
No offense to my mom. But as I grew, I noticed women around me and usually found characteristics that I was attracted to and then kind of latched on. It was always effortless; friendships with them were always easy. I would say I'm still friends today with most of them.
Life isn't easy and you are more often than not left scratching our heads at how to get through it. I am thankful to have these "guides" all through my life. They have formed me in who I am and I have no regrets.
So, as I was vounteered yesterday, I didn't mind, because my friends know that I'm happy to go along with them! Most of us are hard-pressed to give up our time to do something, but when we do it together, it's that spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.
As we got there, we were to sort food that was donated. Only, by the time we got there, they had finished up. Yay! Or not..........
Donations have been so low this year, it leaves one scratching their heads as to what is going on. And the answer is clear. We just don't have as much to donate. Therefore......I get to go home.
At Weight Watchers I saw the same thing happen. We just finished a campaign to feed the hungry. In years past, the donations were overflowing, and sometimes had to have a mid-campaign pick up, because the food was getting in our ways.
This year......not even close.
It makes it hard to get joyful to go into the holiday season knowing people are in need and it begs the question.....what can I do? What needs to be done?
Not that I am ANY better off than these people, because we, too have had some reconciliations in recent years. Two girls in dance, braces, new car.....food is almost optional at this point.
But this isn't about me. This is about a vast array of people and the effects of the economy. That weighs heavy on my shoulders, because just a few months ago, I felt like things were getting better. I was hearing more stories of people getting jobs and recovery happening.
However....just like a cut on your arm.....it takes time to heal from the effects. Which is where we are. I get that! But it doesn't make me happy.
I am once again, grateful for all I have. My guides who have helped build me up; my family who sustains me, and thankful for God, watching over us and keeping us safe!
And if you feel the need (or even if you don't)....please donate!
Happy Thursday!
I say I "got" volunteered, because I usually get dragged in by my friends. And I'm totally okay with it. I'm more of a follower than a leader, depending on who you ask.
All my life I have surrounded myself with strong women. Usually women I admire greatly. This was instinctual from an early age. I didn't idealize my mom as much as I idealized these women.
No offense to my mom. But as I grew, I noticed women around me and usually found characteristics that I was attracted to and then kind of latched on. It was always effortless; friendships with them were always easy. I would say I'm still friends today with most of them.
Life isn't easy and you are more often than not left scratching our heads at how to get through it. I am thankful to have these "guides" all through my life. They have formed me in who I am and I have no regrets.
So, as I was vounteered yesterday, I didn't mind, because my friends know that I'm happy to go along with them! Most of us are hard-pressed to give up our time to do something, but when we do it together, it's that spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.
As we got there, we were to sort food that was donated. Only, by the time we got there, they had finished up. Yay! Or not..........
Donations have been so low this year, it leaves one scratching their heads as to what is going on. And the answer is clear. We just don't have as much to donate. Therefore......I get to go home.
At Weight Watchers I saw the same thing happen. We just finished a campaign to feed the hungry. In years past, the donations were overflowing, and sometimes had to have a mid-campaign pick up, because the food was getting in our ways.
This year......not even close.
It makes it hard to get joyful to go into the holiday season knowing people are in need and it begs the question.....what can I do? What needs to be done?
Not that I am ANY better off than these people, because we, too have had some reconciliations in recent years. Two girls in dance, braces, new car.....food is almost optional at this point.
But this isn't about me. This is about a vast array of people and the effects of the economy. That weighs heavy on my shoulders, because just a few months ago, I felt like things were getting better. I was hearing more stories of people getting jobs and recovery happening.
However....just like a cut on your arm.....it takes time to heal from the effects. Which is where we are. I get that! But it doesn't make me happy.
I am once again, grateful for all I have. My guides who have helped build me up; my family who sustains me, and thankful for God, watching over us and keeping us safe!
And if you feel the need (or even if you don't)....please donate!
Happy Thursday!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Childhood ideals.....
As a kid, I used to go through my moms closet and her drawers and I used to look at her makeup and imagine the dresses I would grow into and how pretty I would look wearing her clothes. I guess it's every little girls dream to grow up and be like her mom.
But reality set in; and somehow, electric blue eyeshadow isn't really 'in' anymore, and that pretty dress that I admired is not only out of style and my mothers memory; if she ever kept it for me, I would have grown out of it by 7th grade.
Sometimes life just doesn't turn out like you think it will. In fact; it rarely ever does!
We have ideals, hopes, dreams...that is what propels us forward. If we don't have something to look forward to; we're just kind of stuck.
As I look back on my childhood, I can still remember how I felt when I looked at my moms dress. It was a floral dress (because everything was floral in the 70s) and it had a bright pink top to it. I was devastated when I realized that my mom, one day got rid of it. I think I forgot to tell her my hopes for the dress.
Now that I have kids of my own; I think it is cute when they lay claim to my stuff. But I gotta be honest.....it drives me NUTS when they go rifling through it all.
Things end up missing; I can't find my brushes (for hair OR makeup). And this morning when I went to put on my jacket because it was cold downstairs, I remembered watching Aspen wear it up the stairs when she went to bed last night! Dammit!!!!
I know they think it's cool. But I have very little control over my own stuff and when I do, infact, remember where I put something, I would really appreciate it if they left it there for my tired brain to find!
I'm not sure what their ideals are; but I'm sure they will start out following me and then veer off into their own path just as I did. It's pretty much inevitable.
But maybe when they grow up and they ask me......I will remember exacty which dress they wanted, and be able to hand it over to them.
Whether it actually fits them or not is not my problem!
Happy Wednesday!
But reality set in; and somehow, electric blue eyeshadow isn't really 'in' anymore, and that pretty dress that I admired is not only out of style and my mothers memory; if she ever kept it for me, I would have grown out of it by 7th grade.
Sometimes life just doesn't turn out like you think it will. In fact; it rarely ever does!
We have ideals, hopes, dreams...that is what propels us forward. If we don't have something to look forward to; we're just kind of stuck.
As I look back on my childhood, I can still remember how I felt when I looked at my moms dress. It was a floral dress (because everything was floral in the 70s) and it had a bright pink top to it. I was devastated when I realized that my mom, one day got rid of it. I think I forgot to tell her my hopes for the dress.
Now that I have kids of my own; I think it is cute when they lay claim to my stuff. But I gotta be honest.....it drives me NUTS when they go rifling through it all.
Things end up missing; I can't find my brushes (for hair OR makeup). And this morning when I went to put on my jacket because it was cold downstairs, I remembered watching Aspen wear it up the stairs when she went to bed last night! Dammit!!!!
I know they think it's cool. But I have very little control over my own stuff and when I do, infact, remember where I put something, I would really appreciate it if they left it there for my tired brain to find!
I'm not sure what their ideals are; but I'm sure they will start out following me and then veer off into their own path just as I did. It's pretty much inevitable.
But maybe when they grow up and they ask me......I will remember exacty which dress they wanted, and be able to hand it over to them.
Whether it actually fits them or not is not my problem!
Happy Wednesday!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Hibernation and such
I feel like I'm going into hibernation mode. Mornings are harder to get up, and it's dark by 7ish, so I'm getting tired earlier. Clearly I have seasonal affective disorder.
Is that funny to you?
I don't see why? We all have some disorder in our lives. I know I'm not alone. The television tells us that we all have issues. AND they have medications for everything that ails us!
If you can't sit still, you have RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome).
Can't pay attention? ADD
Hyper and can't pay attention? ADHD
Nervous all the time? Anxiety
Having a bad day? Depression
Having a happy day? Manic
followed by a mood swing Manic/depressive AKA Bi Polar disorder
It's no wonder we label and judge each other. Simply put; we have enough information that justifies our every judgement. So we use them.
See a kid running amuck through a mall and his parents can't get control of him? Well he MUST have ADD! Tsk tsk....poor parents. It couldn't possible be that the parents just don't give a hoot about their kid and their kid knows it. That is simply poor parenting!
I remember being in Target one day and this woman was all but manhandling their kid (who was maybe 5). I wanted to intervene, because it looked awful. But I stopped myself and said almost out loud (I will not judge someone based on 30 seconds of their day). Because hey...as a mom, I have been there MANY TIMES!!
I remember I was at Walmart once and one of my children had a total meltdown (she was 2). There was no coming back from this one, so I told her, "if you don't calm down, I'm putting you in your carseat and we are going to sit in the car until Nanna is done shopping". And...she pushed it. So I (calmly) took my child out, locked her in the car seat with both van doors open and I sat in the car seat waiting for her to calm down. Just at that time, a guy came to get in his car. His drivers side was right next to my screaming daughter.
As he got into the car, we made eye contact. I could tell by the look on his face that he was judging me HARSHLY. He wasn't shy at all. For a moment, I felt guilty. Then I wanted to kick his *ss for judging me. Then it hit me. He has no kids. Then I felt better.
Unfortunately, they didn't have a medication for me to take at that moment. The diagnosis of "mother getting through the moment" hasn't hit the shelves yet. But when it does, I'm sure I'll be elbowing every other mother to get to it first!
Until then, I'll just climb back in bed and chill for a few more minutes until my day forces me to start!
Happy Tuesday
Is that funny to you?
I don't see why? We all have some disorder in our lives. I know I'm not alone. The television tells us that we all have issues. AND they have medications for everything that ails us!
If you can't sit still, you have RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome).
Can't pay attention? ADD
Hyper and can't pay attention? ADHD
Nervous all the time? Anxiety
Having a bad day? Depression
Having a happy day? Manic
followed by a mood swing Manic/depressive AKA Bi Polar disorder
It's no wonder we label and judge each other. Simply put; we have enough information that justifies our every judgement. So we use them.
See a kid running amuck through a mall and his parents can't get control of him? Well he MUST have ADD! Tsk tsk....poor parents. It couldn't possible be that the parents just don't give a hoot about their kid and their kid knows it. That is simply poor parenting!
I remember being in Target one day and this woman was all but manhandling their kid (who was maybe 5). I wanted to intervene, because it looked awful. But I stopped myself and said almost out loud (I will not judge someone based on 30 seconds of their day). Because hey...as a mom, I have been there MANY TIMES!!
I remember I was at Walmart once and one of my children had a total meltdown (she was 2). There was no coming back from this one, so I told her, "if you don't calm down, I'm putting you in your carseat and we are going to sit in the car until Nanna is done shopping". And...she pushed it. So I (calmly) took my child out, locked her in the car seat with both van doors open and I sat in the car seat waiting for her to calm down. Just at that time, a guy came to get in his car. His drivers side was right next to my screaming daughter.
As he got into the car, we made eye contact. I could tell by the look on his face that he was judging me HARSHLY. He wasn't shy at all. For a moment, I felt guilty. Then I wanted to kick his *ss for judging me. Then it hit me. He has no kids. Then I felt better.
Unfortunately, they didn't have a medication for me to take at that moment. The diagnosis of "mother getting through the moment" hasn't hit the shelves yet. But when it does, I'm sure I'll be elbowing every other mother to get to it first!
Until then, I'll just climb back in bed and chill for a few more minutes until my day forces me to start!
Happy Tuesday
Monday, October 17, 2011
Catching up
I started this day on Lag mode. I do have to do carpool, but just one morning, I would like the girls to get up on their own, and let me sleep in just a little longer. I don't care what I look like while driving the kids around. And thankfully, they are still blissfully unaware of adult hygiene, so all is good with the world.
My lag mode, of course followed in my blog. Usually, I'm done by 7:30; but today, I didn't want to! Sometimes I'm not sure where I'm going with my blog until my fingers hit the keyboard, and even then, it's iffy at best!!!
I was late getting in nut sales to the coordinator (now my efforts are bleeding on to someone else), and though I got them in this morning, I'm certain I'm the last to give my offerings.
I got an email from my friend who is my daughters Girl Scout leader that read, "You're not gonna be THAT mom, are you?" Meaning, I was the only one who didn't deliver my child with the permission slip necessary for her to be at the meetings.
Ughhhhh.......
This morning I came home from carpool and I dug through my books, pulling out "It's All Too Much". It talks about clutter and how it robs us from our potential (a word I adore, I assure you).
It is all too much!
This weekend, I worked on a fundraiser. All my efforts (and the money collected) go to the school. It was a busy weekend, but not as busy as I had hoped. But that is okay, because every year I do this, I get to see families come together, looking pretty and I get to see how the kids have grown. It truly is my favorite time of year!
Because of my fundraiser, that put me a little more behind on other things I need to get done. And from here, it's not going to slow down, so I need to pick it up a notch.
Now, if you have read my blog more than once, you are seeing a pattern of clutter, drowning, and me trying to get out. I'm hoping that my "me trying to get out" resonates louder than the clutter and drowning. Although the drowning and clutter always seem to be in the picture, and it usually comes first.
I'm still working on that.
My husband and I have had many conversations on this. He doesn't feel the need to pick anything up because it's "not mine". I can't really blame him on that one.
It has come to my attention that we both have strengths; we just need to figure out how to put them all together. PRODUCTIVELY!!!!
Our latest efforts have resulted in a few screaming matches, where we clearly aren't hearing each other. And so I refer back to the book, "It's All Too Much".
God, I wish just having the book in the house would make it all better. Unfortunately, one has to actually read the book and put its principles to use.......and that takes time.........
I'll put it on the list!
So, this morning, I'm running behind, which is pretty usual, so I guess I am right on target.
I'm going to start chipping away and catching up. I've decided my electronic devices will go on sleep mode while I give myself a deadline for each task. They are all rather small, but together they are daunting. So, if I time myself, there is no turning back.
If you continue to read my blog, you will see this all come up again. And I can't even apologize for it, because it is what it is.
And I will never give up......
Happy Monday!
My lag mode, of course followed in my blog. Usually, I'm done by 7:30; but today, I didn't want to! Sometimes I'm not sure where I'm going with my blog until my fingers hit the keyboard, and even then, it's iffy at best!!!
I was late getting in nut sales to the coordinator (now my efforts are bleeding on to someone else), and though I got them in this morning, I'm certain I'm the last to give my offerings.
I got an email from my friend who is my daughters Girl Scout leader that read, "You're not gonna be THAT mom, are you?" Meaning, I was the only one who didn't deliver my child with the permission slip necessary for her to be at the meetings.
Ughhhhh.......
This morning I came home from carpool and I dug through my books, pulling out "It's All Too Much". It talks about clutter and how it robs us from our potential (a word I adore, I assure you).
It is all too much!
This weekend, I worked on a fundraiser. All my efforts (and the money collected) go to the school. It was a busy weekend, but not as busy as I had hoped. But that is okay, because every year I do this, I get to see families come together, looking pretty and I get to see how the kids have grown. It truly is my favorite time of year!
Because of my fundraiser, that put me a little more behind on other things I need to get done. And from here, it's not going to slow down, so I need to pick it up a notch.
Now, if you have read my blog more than once, you are seeing a pattern of clutter, drowning, and me trying to get out. I'm hoping that my "me trying to get out" resonates louder than the clutter and drowning. Although the drowning and clutter always seem to be in the picture, and it usually comes first.
I'm still working on that.
My husband and I have had many conversations on this. He doesn't feel the need to pick anything up because it's "not mine". I can't really blame him on that one.
It has come to my attention that we both have strengths; we just need to figure out how to put them all together. PRODUCTIVELY!!!!
Our latest efforts have resulted in a few screaming matches, where we clearly aren't hearing each other. And so I refer back to the book, "It's All Too Much".
God, I wish just having the book in the house would make it all better. Unfortunately, one has to actually read the book and put its principles to use.......and that takes time.........
I'll put it on the list!
So, this morning, I'm running behind, which is pretty usual, so I guess I am right on target.
I'm going to start chipping away and catching up. I've decided my electronic devices will go on sleep mode while I give myself a deadline for each task. They are all rather small, but together they are daunting. So, if I time myself, there is no turning back.
If you continue to read my blog, you will see this all come up again. And I can't even apologize for it, because it is what it is.
And I will never give up......
Happy Monday!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sleep....or not
I am trying to get motivated to write something this morning, but my brain is having a hard time gearing up.
I was at a 40th birthday party last night and we left about 9:30 to pick up the kids because this morning, they were getting picked up at 4:30am for the Disney CHOC walk.
Hubby stayed downstairs and set his alarm so he could wake them up as I have a photo session this morning. Yet when I walked down stairs at 4:15, he was surprised to see me.
I told him I wanted to stay asleep, but when anyone moves around the house, my brain goes on high alert and I have to see what is going on. I also realized that my daughter will be too tired to remember to bring her camera and I had to make sure she had it, because I wanted to see the pictures.
This is something that I don't think he gets. When you have kids; your world changes on every level, especially sleep.
It starts in the early stages of pregnancy when you are doing bathroom runs 6 times a night; and then works its way through to the major discomfort of sleeping at all just before the baby is born, which then graduates you out of ever getting a good nights sleep again.
My husband says I can hear an ant on the window in the middle of the night and that I can count when each of its feet hits the glass.
This may be true. And though I was bad before children, I am now at a level 10 at all times.
Can you imagine a child waking up in the middle of the night with the flu, and the parents sleep right through it? I know some do; but it doesn't happen in this house. And though my husband makes fun of me; from the earliest days of our marriage; when I would wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he would bounce up and ask; "Are you okay?"
And more often than not; he is by the girls' side before I am in the middle of the night grabbing buckets or water or whatever is needed.
So though it is a bummer that I was up between 4 and 5 and never really got back to sleep, I will be anxious to see my daughters pictures and hear about the lovely time they had walking with their dance team through Disneyland with all their friends.
I can sleep another day!
Happy Sunday!
I was at a 40th birthday party last night and we left about 9:30 to pick up the kids because this morning, they were getting picked up at 4:30am for the Disney CHOC walk.
Hubby stayed downstairs and set his alarm so he could wake them up as I have a photo session this morning. Yet when I walked down stairs at 4:15, he was surprised to see me.
I told him I wanted to stay asleep, but when anyone moves around the house, my brain goes on high alert and I have to see what is going on. I also realized that my daughter will be too tired to remember to bring her camera and I had to make sure she had it, because I wanted to see the pictures.
This is something that I don't think he gets. When you have kids; your world changes on every level, especially sleep.
It starts in the early stages of pregnancy when you are doing bathroom runs 6 times a night; and then works its way through to the major discomfort of sleeping at all just before the baby is born, which then graduates you out of ever getting a good nights sleep again.
My husband says I can hear an ant on the window in the middle of the night and that I can count when each of its feet hits the glass.
This may be true. And though I was bad before children, I am now at a level 10 at all times.
Can you imagine a child waking up in the middle of the night with the flu, and the parents sleep right through it? I know some do; but it doesn't happen in this house. And though my husband makes fun of me; from the earliest days of our marriage; when I would wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he would bounce up and ask; "Are you okay?"
And more often than not; he is by the girls' side before I am in the middle of the night grabbing buckets or water or whatever is needed.
So though it is a bummer that I was up between 4 and 5 and never really got back to sleep, I will be anxious to see my daughters pictures and hear about the lovely time they had walking with their dance team through Disneyland with all their friends.
I can sleep another day!
Happy Sunday!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sign of the times
Today and tomorrow I am hosting a photo fundraiser for our school. In years past, this event was booming, but as years have gotten tight thanks to the economy, participation has been severely affected.
Even at a great deal saving over $100 per session, it is still too much to consider spending money in today's economy. Discretionary income is tight, and families are having to hold back their spending.
I have many photographer friends who can attest to this. My closest photographer friend said that by this time of year, her mailbox is full and sessions are limited to only a few weekday offerings. At the time I called her two days ago, she still had plenty of sessions available.
Unfortunately, I put a high value on getting pictures taken. Maybe it is because I am in the industry.....or maybe I have witnessed one too many times how life changes in an instant.
I have had many families affected by tragedy and all they had left were the pictures I took.
I hear excuses from parents who don't want to be in the pictures, because they are not in tip top shape, or don't have makeup on or hair done, etc..... I have done this too, I'm not immune to vanity. But I found something out in my own life.....
KIDS DON'T CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE; THEY CARE THAT YOU ARE THERE!!!!!!
I get very passionate about this. I had a friend try to schedule a "sisters" shoot with me and it was put off at the last moment. And as it turned out....it was the last moment that it would ever be able to happen. One of the sisters was killed in a car accident. She was a passenger.
There isn't a time that I pass by the intersection where she died and regret that we didn't get those last photos. It haunts me regularly; and further drives my passion for pictures.
We only have now! We need to take advantage of ever "now" that we have!
I have made promises to parents and people alike: Let's just take the pictures now and if you lose that 5lbs, or find a better outfit; I will do a reshoot for free! Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
Because we always seem to live as if we have forever. And I'm just here to say.......
You don't!
Happy Saturday
Even at a great deal saving over $100 per session, it is still too much to consider spending money in today's economy. Discretionary income is tight, and families are having to hold back their spending.
I have many photographer friends who can attest to this. My closest photographer friend said that by this time of year, her mailbox is full and sessions are limited to only a few weekday offerings. At the time I called her two days ago, she still had plenty of sessions available.
Unfortunately, I put a high value on getting pictures taken. Maybe it is because I am in the industry.....or maybe I have witnessed one too many times how life changes in an instant.
I have had many families affected by tragedy and all they had left were the pictures I took.
I hear excuses from parents who don't want to be in the pictures, because they are not in tip top shape, or don't have makeup on or hair done, etc..... I have done this too, I'm not immune to vanity. But I found something out in my own life.....
KIDS DON'T CARE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE; THEY CARE THAT YOU ARE THERE!!!!!!
I get very passionate about this. I had a friend try to schedule a "sisters" shoot with me and it was put off at the last moment. And as it turned out....it was the last moment that it would ever be able to happen. One of the sisters was killed in a car accident. She was a passenger.
There isn't a time that I pass by the intersection where she died and regret that we didn't get those last photos. It haunts me regularly; and further drives my passion for pictures.
We only have now! We need to take advantage of ever "now" that we have!
I have made promises to parents and people alike: Let's just take the pictures now and if you lose that 5lbs, or find a better outfit; I will do a reshoot for free! Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
Because we always seem to live as if we have forever. And I'm just here to say.......
You don't!
Happy Saturday
Friday, October 14, 2011
Happy Places
The other day I sat home and I cleaned things that no one would see. Or that they just ignore. There are so many nooks and crannies in a house to clean and it would appear if it is ignored, it doesn't exist.
But it does and I couldn't take it anymore.
Aside from the cleaning, I baked, cooked and PRE-pared tons of food, because I am tired of hearing 'We don't have anything to eat!'. Well, now we go plenty.
I ended up handing out most of my muffins, because for some reason they don't always get eaten and I end up throwing them away and I wasn't in the mood to waste food.
So when I got up yesterday morning and realized there were only a few left for my kids, I hi-tailed it to the store to get some ingredients to make some chocolate muffins (not the healthiest choice). And I baked at 9pm at night.
So.....one thing I realize about myself is when I bake; something is up! It would appear that I am stressed on some level or feeling like I am losing control, so I do something I am good at....BAKE!
I need a sense of accomplishment and so I achieve something when I create food that my family loves! And handing it out also makes me happy, because now I am sharing and making someone else happy.
It is not the healthiest reaction to stress, but it is not a bad one either.
I was talking to someone yesterday who is so immersed in stress and her only solace is her daughter. (She is also contemplating divorce, so she has very little joy). That is a lot of pressure her little girl unknowingly has on her. What if her daughter does something wrong? Now her whole world is crumbled.
I encouraged her to take mental breaks in the day. Find your happy place, if you will.
I have pictures in my office that I took, and they are big and hanging right in front of me. Whenever I see them I can feel the air, and smell the smells of the location, as if I am actually there. It gives me a moment of solace! It's so important to take moments for your self preservation in this life of stress that we lead!
I have found my moments of solace in various ways. Being an anxiety sufferer, I have had to learn to cope and bring myself back to calm.
And though all my tactics may not be healthy for others...they are healthy for me!!!
Find your happy Place!
Happy Friday!
But it does and I couldn't take it anymore.
Aside from the cleaning, I baked, cooked and PRE-pared tons of food, because I am tired of hearing 'We don't have anything to eat!'. Well, now we go plenty.
I ended up handing out most of my muffins, because for some reason they don't always get eaten and I end up throwing them away and I wasn't in the mood to waste food.
So when I got up yesterday morning and realized there were only a few left for my kids, I hi-tailed it to the store to get some ingredients to make some chocolate muffins (not the healthiest choice). And I baked at 9pm at night.
So.....one thing I realize about myself is when I bake; something is up! It would appear that I am stressed on some level or feeling like I am losing control, so I do something I am good at....BAKE!
I need a sense of accomplishment and so I achieve something when I create food that my family loves! And handing it out also makes me happy, because now I am sharing and making someone else happy.
It is not the healthiest reaction to stress, but it is not a bad one either.
I was talking to someone yesterday who is so immersed in stress and her only solace is her daughter. (She is also contemplating divorce, so she has very little joy). That is a lot of pressure her little girl unknowingly has on her. What if her daughter does something wrong? Now her whole world is crumbled.
I encouraged her to take mental breaks in the day. Find your happy place, if you will.
I have pictures in my office that I took, and they are big and hanging right in front of me. Whenever I see them I can feel the air, and smell the smells of the location, as if I am actually there. It gives me a moment of solace! It's so important to take moments for your self preservation in this life of stress that we lead!
I have found my moments of solace in various ways. Being an anxiety sufferer, I have had to learn to cope and bring myself back to calm.
And though all my tactics may not be healthy for others...they are healthy for me!!!
Find your happy Place!
Happy Friday!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Parenting moments
I can't imagine single parenting. Double parenting is hard enough. We work together to make sure everything is taken care of, and even at that, we are stretched thin sometimes.
But single parents....wow! No down time, no other adult to appeal to or yell at when you need a mental break. I can't imagine.
The longer I am a parent, the more things that used to appall me about parents and their decisions become a bit more reasonable.
I always hated when parents would say, "you don't have kids, you don't get it". It was such an insult. Surely they had no idea who I was or how many kids I had been around!
But they were right. And now, I find myself saying it to other people, and cringing a bit, because I know they have no clue what I am talking about.
I remember when Aspen was less than a month old, I had issues breastfeeding, and I was losing sleep and it was 1 in the morning when I was holding Aspen up and crying at Chris, "I didn't sign up for THIS!" I remember that moment so visually.
And if I didn't have my sister to call and commiserate with, I may have dropped Aspen off at the local hospital and asked for their return policy!
Thank GOD for my sister! She had 3 or 4 kids by this time, and my mere issues, were hindsight for her. I was thankful for the advice.
I remember her telling me, "I know how you feel, but this time is so short, trust me!" And as I look at my 11 and 9 year olds, boy was she right! Her oldest is a senior in high school. I remember him walking around their house knocking books off the book shelf to see cause and effect.
I try to remind myself regularly that no matter what "This too shall pass". But I don't want to dismiss the present. I love every moment I get with my kids.
I try to remind myself how precious each moment is when I am stretched thin and trying to get through my day.
This morning we had to figure out how to get Avery to school. Thankfully I have neighbors who are awesome.
I do believe it takes a village to raise a child. I have recruited as many villagers as I can to create this support network for me and my children when mommy and daddy exhaust their juggling abilities.
And I do my best to return the favor when others are in need as well. I make it clear that if I'm around, I'm glad to help! I have even recruited my mom on occasion to take others' children. She is always happy to do so!
It definitely takes a village!
Happy Thursday!
But single parents....wow! No down time, no other adult to appeal to or yell at when you need a mental break. I can't imagine.
The longer I am a parent, the more things that used to appall me about parents and their decisions become a bit more reasonable.
I always hated when parents would say, "you don't have kids, you don't get it". It was such an insult. Surely they had no idea who I was or how many kids I had been around!
But they were right. And now, I find myself saying it to other people, and cringing a bit, because I know they have no clue what I am talking about.
I remember when Aspen was less than a month old, I had issues breastfeeding, and I was losing sleep and it was 1 in the morning when I was holding Aspen up and crying at Chris, "I didn't sign up for THIS!" I remember that moment so visually.
And if I didn't have my sister to call and commiserate with, I may have dropped Aspen off at the local hospital and asked for their return policy!
Thank GOD for my sister! She had 3 or 4 kids by this time, and my mere issues, were hindsight for her. I was thankful for the advice.
I remember her telling me, "I know how you feel, but this time is so short, trust me!" And as I look at my 11 and 9 year olds, boy was she right! Her oldest is a senior in high school. I remember him walking around their house knocking books off the book shelf to see cause and effect.
I try to remind myself regularly that no matter what "This too shall pass". But I don't want to dismiss the present. I love every moment I get with my kids.
I try to remind myself how precious each moment is when I am stretched thin and trying to get through my day.
This morning we had to figure out how to get Avery to school. Thankfully I have neighbors who are awesome.
I do believe it takes a village to raise a child. I have recruited as many villagers as I can to create this support network for me and my children when mommy and daddy exhaust their juggling abilities.
And I do my best to return the favor when others are in need as well. I make it clear that if I'm around, I'm glad to help! I have even recruited my mom on occasion to take others' children. She is always happy to do so!
It definitely takes a village!
Happy Thursday!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Levels of Competency
What is your level of competency? And how did you get there?
This morning, my daughter was dismayed because the milk was a full gallon and she was afraid she would spill it.
So I poured it for her.
Intervening for kids can be helpful, and it can inhibit them.
By helping her out, I was just avoiding her frustration and struggle to attempt to pour it without spilling it. She simply just doesn't have the skill.
And she will never get it with me helping her out.
There is a long term impact for intervening for children in the form of "help". There is no sense of accomplishment achieved for her by me stepping in. There is not frustration either.
Frustration is merely a step toward growth. By getting frustrated and moving passed it is how we grow. We learn from our frustration how not to do something.
A few weeks ago, Aspen was getting her braces off. Two of her baby teeth had braces on them, and when the Dr. went to remove the brace off one of them, the tooth started wiggling and bleeding. She instantly begged the Dr. to leave them on (after he offered since the tooth was coming out eventually anyway). I told him that wasn't gonna happen and I had to do some quick counseling to my child. I explained that not only would she regret it, but it wasn't an option to leave it on. I held her hand and helped her breathe through it while he pulled them off. As Aspen went to rinse her mouth, I talked to the dental assistant and she said, "You would be surprised how many parents would have left their kids with the brace on so they wouldn't feel any discomfort". She actually gave me Kudos for being so stern.
She laughed further when Aspen came back to the chair and saw the brace (all red) and asked "what is that?" and I answered curtly "That's your blood". Aspen crinkled her nose.
I explained to her that there are things that are not negotiable, and not everything we do is pleasant. But we have to get through it.
I asked her this morning if she was glad she got the braces removed and she said yes. Then I made her look me in the eye while I told her "Mommy was right, huh!?"
Yes it was a little glib. But I had to make my point that we as parents have hindsight that we bring to every day life. And that my kids need to trust us as parents to guide them.
My kids have many accomplishments. Milk is not one of them....yet.
I am not afraid of letting my kids get frustrated, mad or super angry. Their emotions do not scare me. As long as they are growing from them. It is most healthy to see them struggle to figure something out.
The more they get frustrated the quicker they become competent. If you get in the way and spend your time saving them stop and think who you are really saving. A moment of your sanity may cost them a lifetime of inadequacy.
Happy Wednesday.
This morning, my daughter was dismayed because the milk was a full gallon and she was afraid she would spill it.
So I poured it for her.
Intervening for kids can be helpful, and it can inhibit them.
By helping her out, I was just avoiding her frustration and struggle to attempt to pour it without spilling it. She simply just doesn't have the skill.
And she will never get it with me helping her out.
There is a long term impact for intervening for children in the form of "help". There is no sense of accomplishment achieved for her by me stepping in. There is not frustration either.
Frustration is merely a step toward growth. By getting frustrated and moving passed it is how we grow. We learn from our frustration how not to do something.
A few weeks ago, Aspen was getting her braces off. Two of her baby teeth had braces on them, and when the Dr. went to remove the brace off one of them, the tooth started wiggling and bleeding. She instantly begged the Dr. to leave them on (after he offered since the tooth was coming out eventually anyway). I told him that wasn't gonna happen and I had to do some quick counseling to my child. I explained that not only would she regret it, but it wasn't an option to leave it on. I held her hand and helped her breathe through it while he pulled them off. As Aspen went to rinse her mouth, I talked to the dental assistant and she said, "You would be surprised how many parents would have left their kids with the brace on so they wouldn't feel any discomfort". She actually gave me Kudos for being so stern.
She laughed further when Aspen came back to the chair and saw the brace (all red) and asked "what is that?" and I answered curtly "That's your blood". Aspen crinkled her nose.
I explained to her that there are things that are not negotiable, and not everything we do is pleasant. But we have to get through it.
I asked her this morning if she was glad she got the braces removed and she said yes. Then I made her look me in the eye while I told her "Mommy was right, huh!?"
Yes it was a little glib. But I had to make my point that we as parents have hindsight that we bring to every day life. And that my kids need to trust us as parents to guide them.
My kids have many accomplishments. Milk is not one of them....yet.
I am not afraid of letting my kids get frustrated, mad or super angry. Their emotions do not scare me. As long as they are growing from them. It is most healthy to see them struggle to figure something out.
The more they get frustrated the quicker they become competent. If you get in the way and spend your time saving them stop and think who you are really saving. A moment of your sanity may cost them a lifetime of inadequacy.
Happy Wednesday.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Picture Day
Picture day!
A day that we inevitably get up late; work hard on the hair so it can go flat by actual picture time!
Do they not know my child has to get in there ASAP because she plays hard and isn't dainty? She is just like me. Pictures are 5 minutes of her day. The meat is where the fun is and she likes her meat!
So, today, I will put her in a pretty dress, do my best to curl and spray the heck out of her hair, beg her to not run around like crazy until pictures, and pray that her expensive dress doesn't get slammed by nation ball, or tattered by a jump rope that keeps getting in her way!
I will pray for the blacktop to stay on the ground until after pictures and that the hairspray works to hold, not make look greasy.
And in the end, no matter what the pictures look like, I will purchase them, because they are a moment in time in her 4th grade year where she listened to another adult sit her down, look at the camera and give her best cheesy smile.
And I will love it no matter what!
Happy Tuesday!
A day that we inevitably get up late; work hard on the hair so it can go flat by actual picture time!
Do they not know my child has to get in there ASAP because she plays hard and isn't dainty? She is just like me. Pictures are 5 minutes of her day. The meat is where the fun is and she likes her meat!
So, today, I will put her in a pretty dress, do my best to curl and spray the heck out of her hair, beg her to not run around like crazy until pictures, and pray that her expensive dress doesn't get slammed by nation ball, or tattered by a jump rope that keeps getting in her way!
I will pray for the blacktop to stay on the ground until after pictures and that the hairspray works to hold, not make look greasy.
And in the end, no matter what the pictures look like, I will purchase them, because they are a moment in time in her 4th grade year where she listened to another adult sit her down, look at the camera and give her best cheesy smile.
And I will love it no matter what!
Happy Tuesday!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Holiday gearing....
I can't believe we are nearing the middle of October. OCTOBER!!!
Though we have some decorations up, I have no motivation for this years costume, which means something is coming out of the closet.
I still have thoughts of My Fair Lady, however, always get stopped at the hat. I can fumble through making a dress, but have no thoughts on where to begin with a hat as big as that.
And as I had to walk sideways through parties last year with my curtain rod, I am not sure I want a repeat with head gear.
But Halloween is undoubtedly my favorite time of year.
My favorite Halloween season was in New England where the pumpkins lined the streets of those historic streets. People live so quaintly back there.
Also this time of year there is a smell in the air that is distinctly "cozy". Peoples attitudes start changing as we slide into what I call Merry Thanksgive-o-ween.
At Halloween, people are eager. By the time we hit Christmas: the joy is all but gone, and burnout starts to settle in, as do the nasty attitudes.
Therefore, Halloween is my favorite holiday. It would just be more favorite with a great costume.
But nonetheless, I will enjoy the feeling I get as I step outside and there is a chill in the air. And I will do my best to make it a fun and creative season for my kids.
After all...with more weekends free, we will actually have time.
Yay us.
Happy Monday.
Though we have some decorations up, I have no motivation for this years costume, which means something is coming out of the closet.
I still have thoughts of My Fair Lady, however, always get stopped at the hat. I can fumble through making a dress, but have no thoughts on where to begin with a hat as big as that.
And as I had to walk sideways through parties last year with my curtain rod, I am not sure I want a repeat with head gear.
But Halloween is undoubtedly my favorite time of year.
My favorite Halloween season was in New England where the pumpkins lined the streets of those historic streets. People live so quaintly back there.
Also this time of year there is a smell in the air that is distinctly "cozy". Peoples attitudes start changing as we slide into what I call Merry Thanksgive-o-ween.
At Halloween, people are eager. By the time we hit Christmas: the joy is all but gone, and burnout starts to settle in, as do the nasty attitudes.
Therefore, Halloween is my favorite holiday. It would just be more favorite with a great costume.
But nonetheless, I will enjoy the feeling I get as I step outside and there is a chill in the air. And I will do my best to make it a fun and creative season for my kids.
After all...with more weekends free, we will actually have time.
Yay us.
Happy Monday.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Motives behind words
Words
Inflection
One without the other makes conversation impossible. Not communication mind you. Just conversation. To have a conversation there is inflection in words. You can take any sentence and change its meaning by inflecting certain words.
For example:
I hate you. The meaning is there.
I HATE you! More than likely meaning the act is what is hated over the actual person.
I hate YOU! Uh ohhhh....now someone is in trouble.
Sometimes it isn't inflection. It is the words or phrase chosen. We mask ourselves through what we say. This is what makes true conversation very complex.
We hide behind our feelings, our inadequacies, our pain.......
When you have ever asked someone what is wrong, and they say nothing - but you know better. It is usually coupled with the body language. You can just tell when someone is lying. Either they can't make eye contact, or they fold their arms. Whatever it is, it is something that makes them not true to their words.
Some people are unaware of their translucency. Some are just in complete denial!
I love to sit and watch interaction. Just the other day, while picking up at middle school, I see the girls and can tell which are becoming more sexually aware. Their walk is different, or they develop mannerisms that I am oh so familiar with. I watched at least a handful of them (not in the same group, or even in the same 5 minutes), sweeping their long hair over to one side of their shoulder. And it wasn't a careless sweep; it was using both hands in a romantic wave, which just so happened to be accompanied with "that" look in their eyes.
I recognize it, because I went through it. And....I giggled.
These poor girls have no idea the drama they are about to encounter over the next 10 years of their lives. It's just crazy!!!
As a child I had a lot of aggression. Everything was at a level 10. It started in elementary school. It was compounded by the fact that I was 4th out of 5 kids. I had blind wisdom as I had older siblings that I watched and listened to intently. Surely they would have the answers of the world that I would eventually encounter.
As I didn't have much guidance from my parents, my siblings and the world were what I relied on. I guess that is why I am such a people watcher.
I used to attach myself to my brothers girlfriends. They have no idea how much they guided me; I watched them most. I needed them. I needed guidance and role models. I didn't really get along with my sister back then, so she wasn't on my list.
I am thankful for my brothers girlfriends, because I learned a lot. What my brother didn't realize is he chose good girlfriends. For me, not him. They didn't work out for him, but they stayed in contact with me. I learned behind their actions. And mimicked them.
As I honed my skills as I got older, I realized motives behind peoples actions. I realized that we sometimes act against how we feel. And we do it to protect ourselves.
But what happens if your protective instincts end up hurting or affecting someone else? What if your simple words cause someone to pull away? And they don't understand it? Because they think it is no big deal, or "your just taking it wrong".
Though it is nice for me to be aware, it doesn't help when someone else isn't.
I wish I could bleed my awareness onto others sometimes, because it is rather painful to sit and watch someone flounder when if they just had the ability to see what was going on they could stop and change their approach.
I find it sad when I meet people and my blatant honesty throws them for a loop. That means I am rare.
Or maybe just too stupid to not filter myself like so many. If I had such filters I wouldn't be talking to you lovely people right now, would I?
I won't change who I am. Not sure I would know where to start. Life is hard and we need each other, which is why I blog. If my words help one person every so often to not feel alone, I'm happy. Too many people feel like they are the inventors of their pain. Like no one ever felt it before.
But millions have tread the path before us. And if we realized that more and learned from their mistakes, we wouldn't have to re-write history with the same stories over and over again. ......
But we do.
Happy Sunday!
Inflection
One without the other makes conversation impossible. Not communication mind you. Just conversation. To have a conversation there is inflection in words. You can take any sentence and change its meaning by inflecting certain words.
For example:
I hate you. The meaning is there.
I HATE you! More than likely meaning the act is what is hated over the actual person.
I hate YOU! Uh ohhhh....now someone is in trouble.
Sometimes it isn't inflection. It is the words or phrase chosen. We mask ourselves through what we say. This is what makes true conversation very complex.
We hide behind our feelings, our inadequacies, our pain.......
When you have ever asked someone what is wrong, and they say nothing - but you know better. It is usually coupled with the body language. You can just tell when someone is lying. Either they can't make eye contact, or they fold their arms. Whatever it is, it is something that makes them not true to their words.
Some people are unaware of their translucency. Some are just in complete denial!
I love to sit and watch interaction. Just the other day, while picking up at middle school, I see the girls and can tell which are becoming more sexually aware. Their walk is different, or they develop mannerisms that I am oh so familiar with. I watched at least a handful of them (not in the same group, or even in the same 5 minutes), sweeping their long hair over to one side of their shoulder. And it wasn't a careless sweep; it was using both hands in a romantic wave, which just so happened to be accompanied with "that" look in their eyes.
I recognize it, because I went through it. And....I giggled.
These poor girls have no idea the drama they are about to encounter over the next 10 years of their lives. It's just crazy!!!
As a child I had a lot of aggression. Everything was at a level 10. It started in elementary school. It was compounded by the fact that I was 4th out of 5 kids. I had blind wisdom as I had older siblings that I watched and listened to intently. Surely they would have the answers of the world that I would eventually encounter.
As I didn't have much guidance from my parents, my siblings and the world were what I relied on. I guess that is why I am such a people watcher.
I used to attach myself to my brothers girlfriends. They have no idea how much they guided me; I watched them most. I needed them. I needed guidance and role models. I didn't really get along with my sister back then, so she wasn't on my list.
I am thankful for my brothers girlfriends, because I learned a lot. What my brother didn't realize is he chose good girlfriends. For me, not him. They didn't work out for him, but they stayed in contact with me. I learned behind their actions. And mimicked them.
As I honed my skills as I got older, I realized motives behind peoples actions. I realized that we sometimes act against how we feel. And we do it to protect ourselves.
But what happens if your protective instincts end up hurting or affecting someone else? What if your simple words cause someone to pull away? And they don't understand it? Because they think it is no big deal, or "your just taking it wrong".
Though it is nice for me to be aware, it doesn't help when someone else isn't.
I wish I could bleed my awareness onto others sometimes, because it is rather painful to sit and watch someone flounder when if they just had the ability to see what was going on they could stop and change their approach.
I find it sad when I meet people and my blatant honesty throws them for a loop. That means I am rare.
Or maybe just too stupid to not filter myself like so many. If I had such filters I wouldn't be talking to you lovely people right now, would I?
I won't change who I am. Not sure I would know where to start. Life is hard and we need each other, which is why I blog. If my words help one person every so often to not feel alone, I'm happy. Too many people feel like they are the inventors of their pain. Like no one ever felt it before.
But millions have tread the path before us. And if we realized that more and learned from their mistakes, we wouldn't have to re-write history with the same stories over and over again. ......
But we do.
Happy Sunday!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Perspectives
Funny how the thought of sleeping in is so great. Yet when I do it, I wake up and feel like I just lost a chunk of my day. And now that the girls' dance schedules have been scaled back; Saturdays are for relaxing! And catching up on house stuff. Which I guess isn't exactly relaxing, but it is more than we had last year.
It is almost weird to wake up on a Saturday and realize we don't have to rush anywhere. Which almost puts me into lazy mode of "oh we have nothing to do" and therefore nothing gets done. But Saturdays need to be organized as well. This is the time we need to take advantage of our "free" time and put it to good use.
My kids are still very argumentative when it comes time to cleaning and I get very frustrated when they ask, "Why should IIIIIIIII do that?"
I have found myself literally backing down from them at times due to fatigue. While other times I am calm and just stare at them and say, "I'm not arguing with you and if you want me to scream at you, then keep arguing". It's so exhausting at times.
I met with a couple this past week with teenagers. I keep hearing horror stories about the teen years and I wonder if my parents ever felt the same way. I think most of the time, my parents were just unaware (blissfully so) of the trials and tribulations of their kids, because they were so busy working. It's much more complicated when you know ALL the details of their lives.
As I listened to this mom talk about how her child was completely remiss in the responsibilities of her life and kept falling back on others to catch her, I saw the frustration in her moms face as she shook her head in bewilderment that these acts from this child came from her!
And it made me realize (as I reflected on my own childhood) that kids need to test their boundaries and push a little more and a little more to see how flexible their world is. It's truly a healthy place to be. Just not always convenient for those around them.
I remember trying to push the limits with my own stupid acts. I remember feeling invincible - that nothing could ever hurt me. I also remember being depressed like in a black hole and nothing could save me. It was a very volatile time. Yet necessary. I look back and think to myself.....WOW...the DRAMA!!!!
I know I have to look forward to that too someday. However, for today, I need to focus on the little things like chores and responsibilities around the house and how their actions impact us here.
And when I think about that mom with her teenage girl and those issues. Suddenly my issues are minor by comparison.
A nicer perspective I think I will sit with for now.
Happy Saturday!
It is almost weird to wake up on a Saturday and realize we don't have to rush anywhere. Which almost puts me into lazy mode of "oh we have nothing to do" and therefore nothing gets done. But Saturdays need to be organized as well. This is the time we need to take advantage of our "free" time and put it to good use.
My kids are still very argumentative when it comes time to cleaning and I get very frustrated when they ask, "Why should IIIIIIIII do that?"
I have found myself literally backing down from them at times due to fatigue. While other times I am calm and just stare at them and say, "I'm not arguing with you and if you want me to scream at you, then keep arguing". It's so exhausting at times.
I met with a couple this past week with teenagers. I keep hearing horror stories about the teen years and I wonder if my parents ever felt the same way. I think most of the time, my parents were just unaware (blissfully so) of the trials and tribulations of their kids, because they were so busy working. It's much more complicated when you know ALL the details of their lives.
As I listened to this mom talk about how her child was completely remiss in the responsibilities of her life and kept falling back on others to catch her, I saw the frustration in her moms face as she shook her head in bewilderment that these acts from this child came from her!
And it made me realize (as I reflected on my own childhood) that kids need to test their boundaries and push a little more and a little more to see how flexible their world is. It's truly a healthy place to be. Just not always convenient for those around them.
I remember trying to push the limits with my own stupid acts. I remember feeling invincible - that nothing could ever hurt me. I also remember being depressed like in a black hole and nothing could save me. It was a very volatile time. Yet necessary. I look back and think to myself.....WOW...the DRAMA!!!!
I know I have to look forward to that too someday. However, for today, I need to focus on the little things like chores and responsibilities around the house and how their actions impact us here.
And when I think about that mom with her teenage girl and those issues. Suddenly my issues are minor by comparison.
A nicer perspective I think I will sit with for now.
Happy Saturday!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Approaches and doubts
In the last few weeks have subbed for other leaders. When you go to a meeting to see someone you like, it's a real bummer to find that person gone for the week and your stuck with who knows what! I have been there and done that as a member; and now I'm the' who knows what'!
I subbed for a leader who is known for his Rah Rah Sis Boom Ba approach. He really gets the members amped up. Subbing for someone like that is like getting ready for a recital with a theme and you get to make up your own dance and hope everyone likes it.
I know I can only be what I can be. However, I do try to at least match the energy of the people I sub for.
When I did this group of meetings I was overwhelmed with the amount of people that came to the meetings. It actually made me a bit self conscious.
In being a leader it means something to build your meetings. Your attendance is like a report card and who doesn't like to get an A.
However, I realize that this group is on a Saturday where most people are available, so it's like comparing apples to oranges (a term that I loathe by the way).
But I can't help but reflect on my delivery and wonder if I can somehow improve.
Well, yesterday, that leader came into a meeting I was at and I asked if his members liked me or if they had some complaints. I was told by the leader that they loved me and that I really got them to think.
As my conversation with the leader went on, it became clear to me that my approach is exactly what it should be. I'm not a cheerleader like he is. I'm a person who wants to dig deep to get you to think about your actions and actually own them. And then deal with them.
My approach is much more psychological, because that is what worked for me, and that is who I am.
I totally appreciate this other leaders approach, and look forward to attending his meetings as a member. I would love to get a dose of Rah Rah!
But for the time being, I think I am on the right track with what I do. And I will be content as I continue with my approach of dealing out a dose of hmmmmm..........
Happy Friday!
I subbed for a leader who is known for his Rah Rah Sis Boom Ba approach. He really gets the members amped up. Subbing for someone like that is like getting ready for a recital with a theme and you get to make up your own dance and hope everyone likes it.
I know I can only be what I can be. However, I do try to at least match the energy of the people I sub for.
When I did this group of meetings I was overwhelmed with the amount of people that came to the meetings. It actually made me a bit self conscious.
In being a leader it means something to build your meetings. Your attendance is like a report card and who doesn't like to get an A.
However, I realize that this group is on a Saturday where most people are available, so it's like comparing apples to oranges (a term that I loathe by the way).
But I can't help but reflect on my delivery and wonder if I can somehow improve.
Well, yesterday, that leader came into a meeting I was at and I asked if his members liked me or if they had some complaints. I was told by the leader that they loved me and that I really got them to think.
As my conversation with the leader went on, it became clear to me that my approach is exactly what it should be. I'm not a cheerleader like he is. I'm a person who wants to dig deep to get you to think about your actions and actually own them. And then deal with them.
My approach is much more psychological, because that is what worked for me, and that is who I am.
I totally appreciate this other leaders approach, and look forward to attending his meetings as a member. I would love to get a dose of Rah Rah!
But for the time being, I think I am on the right track with what I do. And I will be content as I continue with my approach of dealing out a dose of hmmmmm..........
Happy Friday!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Defining moments
Do you ever think about moments that changed or shaped your life? Moments you can't forget? Instances where you haven't forgiven?
Yesterday my mom and I were talking about things in the past, and high school scars came up (not mine or hers) and it got me thinking about how certain things just stay with us. And they shape us for better or worse.
I have had a number of instances that changed the course of my life. My trust was broken, so it made me less trusting; someone died, my innocence was gone. I can practically remember the smell in the air and the temperature of the day when these things happened.
I remember when my best friend left me for my boyfriend when I was 14. I didn't know stuff like that happened, but it did, and it ripped my soul out. When you are 14 those are the only 2 things in your world. After that time, my trust in women has been skewed. It hit me years later when I was with my husband and a friend of mine doted on how funny my husband was. At first I didn't take notice, but as she did it more and more, I started reverting back to that 14 year old girl, because the signs were all the same. I may as well have been 14 again with my reaction.
Sometimes these things turn out to be wisdom. But sometimes, they just hurt. That situation with my best friend took over 20 years of healing. For as much as I tried, the pain was too great. The betrayal was stuck in my soul and forgiveness wasn't in the cards. It was easier to forgive the boyfriend than the best friend even though they were both at fault.
I can remember the day that I found out my neighbor died. He was like a grandpa to me. I felt like his grand daughter. I used to go to his house and play and talk to him. His wife had died and he lived alone. I met him in Kindergarten and now I was in 6th grade when I stood in the front yard of his house. The people getting out of the car looked at me and I remember as clear as day when I asked them "Are you here to see George?" and as if in slow motion, I watched the lady getting out of the passengers side look across the car to the driver and back at me and say, "No honey, George died. Didn't you hear?" and my response was simply, "Okay, thank you" and I ran home crying. Never before that moment had I felt that pain. A void in my heart. That was the first moment I knew that I would never see someone again.
People had died before that. But the concept wasn't clear to me until that moment. I ran into my dad and as I ran down the hall I remember thinking to myself "if dad tells me to wait I'm going to tell him to shut up" (because my dad was usually in the middle of something). When I ran in I said, "Dad" and he said, "Ya babe"...
"George Died"
dad turned of the TV and said a bad word. He knew it was bad and my pain was deep.
I still see the room and my dads face. It is so clear. That moment will never leave me.
My memory for all intents and purposes is not great. My husband prides himself when he asks me, "Ever day is a new day for you, isn't it?"
But I remember certain things and I remember them well. Those moments that shaped me for who I am today. Some of it is wisdom. Some is pain. Some Joy.
If you think back, I'm sure you can find those moments that helped define you.
Some people harbor their past like a shield of excuses for why they can't trust or move forward. They stay stuck in their past. And for that I feel bad. They don't know how to move forward or forgive.
One thing I realized is forgiveness is a gift. And it is a good one. My life is richer since I forgave my friend. As we get older we can find more appreciation in the things that shaped us.
Our past is a tool for the future. Not a weapon. It should be used as such. If used properly, we can move forward.
And as I always say, you have to know where you came from to know where you are going.
Happy Thursday.
Yesterday my mom and I were talking about things in the past, and high school scars came up (not mine or hers) and it got me thinking about how certain things just stay with us. And they shape us for better or worse.
I have had a number of instances that changed the course of my life. My trust was broken, so it made me less trusting; someone died, my innocence was gone. I can practically remember the smell in the air and the temperature of the day when these things happened.
I remember when my best friend left me for my boyfriend when I was 14. I didn't know stuff like that happened, but it did, and it ripped my soul out. When you are 14 those are the only 2 things in your world. After that time, my trust in women has been skewed. It hit me years later when I was with my husband and a friend of mine doted on how funny my husband was. At first I didn't take notice, but as she did it more and more, I started reverting back to that 14 year old girl, because the signs were all the same. I may as well have been 14 again with my reaction.
Sometimes these things turn out to be wisdom. But sometimes, they just hurt. That situation with my best friend took over 20 years of healing. For as much as I tried, the pain was too great. The betrayal was stuck in my soul and forgiveness wasn't in the cards. It was easier to forgive the boyfriend than the best friend even though they were both at fault.
I can remember the day that I found out my neighbor died. He was like a grandpa to me. I felt like his grand daughter. I used to go to his house and play and talk to him. His wife had died and he lived alone. I met him in Kindergarten and now I was in 6th grade when I stood in the front yard of his house. The people getting out of the car looked at me and I remember as clear as day when I asked them "Are you here to see George?" and as if in slow motion, I watched the lady getting out of the passengers side look across the car to the driver and back at me and say, "No honey, George died. Didn't you hear?" and my response was simply, "Okay, thank you" and I ran home crying. Never before that moment had I felt that pain. A void in my heart. That was the first moment I knew that I would never see someone again.
People had died before that. But the concept wasn't clear to me until that moment. I ran into my dad and as I ran down the hall I remember thinking to myself "if dad tells me to wait I'm going to tell him to shut up" (because my dad was usually in the middle of something). When I ran in I said, "Dad" and he said, "Ya babe"...
"George Died"
dad turned of the TV and said a bad word. He knew it was bad and my pain was deep.
I still see the room and my dads face. It is so clear. That moment will never leave me.
My memory for all intents and purposes is not great. My husband prides himself when he asks me, "Ever day is a new day for you, isn't it?"
But I remember certain things and I remember them well. Those moments that shaped me for who I am today. Some of it is wisdom. Some is pain. Some Joy.
If you think back, I'm sure you can find those moments that helped define you.
Some people harbor their past like a shield of excuses for why they can't trust or move forward. They stay stuck in their past. And for that I feel bad. They don't know how to move forward or forgive.
One thing I realized is forgiveness is a gift. And it is a good one. My life is richer since I forgave my friend. As we get older we can find more appreciation in the things that shaped us.
Our past is a tool for the future. Not a weapon. It should be used as such. If used properly, we can move forward.
And as I always say, you have to know where you came from to know where you are going.
Happy Thursday.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Opinions and Epiphanies
Yesterday, I got a call from a photographer friend about an upcoming wedding. In our conversation he mentioned how he was photographing a couples engagement that night. It was a couple who was in a wedding I assisted him with. It is one of the bridesmaids who is now getting married. I loved this girl, she was spunky and fun. So I asked if I could meet him for the shoot.
We met at a lake, where they had a picnic set up complete with wine and flowers. As I got there, they were in full swing, laughing and having fun. It's so great to work with people who are just there to enjoy the moment.
I had formed opinions about these people that were totally wrong. The longer I spent with them I realized it was a second marriage for both of them. Which answered so many questions in my mind. These people didn't act like parents. Or did they?
It turns out the bride has 3 kids, one as old as 17. I was blown away, because she is so youthful. He has 3 kids that are a bit younger. He is a very patient and quiet man.
The more time I spent with them and the more their story unfolded, the more connected I felt with them. I understood their joy. It was different than I thought it would be. It was definitely richer. And it appeared as a love that would last.
Just like everyone else, they had issues that life throws you. But as I listened to them talk about their kids, they sounded like a unit. Which is fantastic for a second marriage. Blended families can be a challenge!
I know many couples who have yet to unite when it comes to parenting. And as a result, the kids play the parents against each other. It is a skill inherent in children, I swear!
I liked hearing their struggles. Or more so, how they listen to and respect each others point of view. I'm much more open when one opens up to me. False people make me hesitant to show who I am.
As the night continued and we talked over dinner, it was so comfortable and easy. I was told by the photographer that I will be his assistant at their wedding. I was very excited by this. There will be a lot of emotion there, and as I now know the dynamics of the family, it will be a much richer experience. I will be able to put faces to the names we talked about. The dynamics will unfold and I will be able to capture it on a deeper level. A level at which I am comfortable.
My best weddings are the ones where I get to know the families. And as I love to sit back and watch families connect, those are the best shots to capture. If I didn't get to know them, I wouldn't know what I was looking for.
At the end of the night, I felt very content. Though this shoot was not in my plans, I'm glad I got to squeeze it in. I am so happy for this couple and so excited for their wedding. It will undoubtedly be a rich and emotional experience. And knowing her, filled with lots of laughter and tears!
I'm so blessed with what I do!
Happy Wednesday!
We met at a lake, where they had a picnic set up complete with wine and flowers. As I got there, they were in full swing, laughing and having fun. It's so great to work with people who are just there to enjoy the moment.
I had formed opinions about these people that were totally wrong. The longer I spent with them I realized it was a second marriage for both of them. Which answered so many questions in my mind. These people didn't act like parents. Or did they?
It turns out the bride has 3 kids, one as old as 17. I was blown away, because she is so youthful. He has 3 kids that are a bit younger. He is a very patient and quiet man.
The more time I spent with them and the more their story unfolded, the more connected I felt with them. I understood their joy. It was different than I thought it would be. It was definitely richer. And it appeared as a love that would last.
Just like everyone else, they had issues that life throws you. But as I listened to them talk about their kids, they sounded like a unit. Which is fantastic for a second marriage. Blended families can be a challenge!
I know many couples who have yet to unite when it comes to parenting. And as a result, the kids play the parents against each other. It is a skill inherent in children, I swear!
I liked hearing their struggles. Or more so, how they listen to and respect each others point of view. I'm much more open when one opens up to me. False people make me hesitant to show who I am.
As the night continued and we talked over dinner, it was so comfortable and easy. I was told by the photographer that I will be his assistant at their wedding. I was very excited by this. There will be a lot of emotion there, and as I now know the dynamics of the family, it will be a much richer experience. I will be able to put faces to the names we talked about. The dynamics will unfold and I will be able to capture it on a deeper level. A level at which I am comfortable.
My best weddings are the ones where I get to know the families. And as I love to sit back and watch families connect, those are the best shots to capture. If I didn't get to know them, I wouldn't know what I was looking for.
At the end of the night, I felt very content. Though this shoot was not in my plans, I'm glad I got to squeeze it in. I am so happy for this couple and so excited for their wedding. It will undoubtedly be a rich and emotional experience. And knowing her, filled with lots of laughter and tears!
I'm so blessed with what I do!
Happy Wednesday!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Road blocks
The last couple of days I have hit road blocks which are really frustrating.
The other day I got a gift card from someone beccause when I returned an envelope of cash to her home. As a gesture of appreciation, she gave me a gift card to Starbucks. I was so excited that the next day I treated my husband to a special treat. Only, I ended up paying myself, because the card came up inactive.
Now, many things could have happened. She could have walked out without activating this card. But why would she leave my work only to come back 20 minutes later to hand me a gift that she specifically went to buy, only to hand me something empty?
I was certain Starbucks made a mistake and didn't activate the card, and they would have some safeguard in place for this, so I called the store directl? How do I know which store she went to? Well, if she left my work and came back within 20 minutes, there is only one that is close enough. I even know the timeframe in which she went!
When I called, the staff was very nice. BUT.....no help whatsoever. The assistant manager said that there is no system in place to follow up with the purchases of the cards.
This is disappointing, because when I worked at a bank many years ago, there were so many checks and balances, you didn't leave until your dollars and cents were in order.
So, how can a company so big take in $20 and not be able to align that with the amount of gift cards issued? There should be something in place where they count the # of gift cards against their cash drawer.
But they don't. And the assistant managers only suggestion was to contact the giver of the gift card and get the receipt!
REALLY?????? I am supposed to ask this kind woman to dig up a receipt? What if she is like me and doesn't keep them? How many hours will she have to spend looking through her records to rectify this situation?
I polled a number of people who agree they would NEVER do this!!! So that leaves these big companies with millions of dollars that will never be spent!
The other solution the assistant manager had was to call the 800 # on the back of the card and see if they could help me. So I called.
She was of little help.
Now, one thing you must understand about me. Because there are so many scummy people out there trying to squeeze stuff from companies just because they had a bad experience, I very rarely call and complain. And when I do, I let them know I am not interested in getting something for free, I just want them to FIX their situation!!!
So when I called, I discussed that they need a checks and balances procedure for their gift cards and I told her what happened. I was on the phone with her for about 15 minutes. I told her that is was CRAP that they can take someones money, leaving someone else with nothing and they have no way to fix it. I also told her I was out $10 because I went to use my gift card. So as a consolation, she sent me a few measly drink coupons as if she were throwing me a bone.
I did say I don't call to get stuff, but as this was a money situation and I was out money in more than one way, she should have sent me at least 4 of those little suckers! But what bothered me was it felt like 'hush money'.
I let her know that I appreciate her efforts, but I will less likely be purchasing gift cards as gifts as I have in the past. I was so disheartened over this experience that after I got off the phone with her, I went onto their website and issued a written complaint.
This will not go down easy. I am not done with this. They HAVE to put a system in place or I will never buy another gift card anywhere! I work hard for the money I earn, and I will be damned if I am going to spend my money on a gift card so someone can end up empty and the companies pockets can be lined with my money that will never be spent!
As for the other road block? I am trying to do a presentation for work on my Ipad, because it is the up and coming thing to do. But Ipad doesnt support Adobe Flash, so now my presentation is reduced to paper. But I won't go there today.
Happy Tuesday
The other day I got a gift card from someone beccause when I returned an envelope of cash to her home. As a gesture of appreciation, she gave me a gift card to Starbucks. I was so excited that the next day I treated my husband to a special treat. Only, I ended up paying myself, because the card came up inactive.
Now, many things could have happened. She could have walked out without activating this card. But why would she leave my work only to come back 20 minutes later to hand me a gift that she specifically went to buy, only to hand me something empty?
I was certain Starbucks made a mistake and didn't activate the card, and they would have some safeguard in place for this, so I called the store directl? How do I know which store she went to? Well, if she left my work and came back within 20 minutes, there is only one that is close enough. I even know the timeframe in which she went!
When I called, the staff was very nice. BUT.....no help whatsoever. The assistant manager said that there is no system in place to follow up with the purchases of the cards.
This is disappointing, because when I worked at a bank many years ago, there were so many checks and balances, you didn't leave until your dollars and cents were in order.
So, how can a company so big take in $20 and not be able to align that with the amount of gift cards issued? There should be something in place where they count the # of gift cards against their cash drawer.
But they don't. And the assistant managers only suggestion was to contact the giver of the gift card and get the receipt!
REALLY?????? I am supposed to ask this kind woman to dig up a receipt? What if she is like me and doesn't keep them? How many hours will she have to spend looking through her records to rectify this situation?
I polled a number of people who agree they would NEVER do this!!! So that leaves these big companies with millions of dollars that will never be spent!
The other solution the assistant manager had was to call the 800 # on the back of the card and see if they could help me. So I called.
She was of little help.
Now, one thing you must understand about me. Because there are so many scummy people out there trying to squeeze stuff from companies just because they had a bad experience, I very rarely call and complain. And when I do, I let them know I am not interested in getting something for free, I just want them to FIX their situation!!!
So when I called, I discussed that they need a checks and balances procedure for their gift cards and I told her what happened. I was on the phone with her for about 15 minutes. I told her that is was CRAP that they can take someones money, leaving someone else with nothing and they have no way to fix it. I also told her I was out $10 because I went to use my gift card. So as a consolation, she sent me a few measly drink coupons as if she were throwing me a bone.
I did say I don't call to get stuff, but as this was a money situation and I was out money in more than one way, she should have sent me at least 4 of those little suckers! But what bothered me was it felt like 'hush money'.
I let her know that I appreciate her efforts, but I will less likely be purchasing gift cards as gifts as I have in the past. I was so disheartened over this experience that after I got off the phone with her, I went onto their website and issued a written complaint.
This will not go down easy. I am not done with this. They HAVE to put a system in place or I will never buy another gift card anywhere! I work hard for the money I earn, and I will be damned if I am going to spend my money on a gift card so someone can end up empty and the companies pockets can be lined with my money that will never be spent!
As for the other road block? I am trying to do a presentation for work on my Ipad, because it is the up and coming thing to do. But Ipad doesnt support Adobe Flash, so now my presentation is reduced to paper. But I won't go there today.
Happy Tuesday
Monday, October 3, 2011
Miscommunications
Yesterday I was supposed to meet a friend running. I haven't run much in the last few months because I fell out of the groove. It's hard to get back in once you are out, so to enlist the help of a friend is always a good bet!
We said we would meet at 8. I had a photo session at 10 and was pretty well ready for that, but I was a little nervous 8 would be late, but I went anyway, because I wanted to hang with my friend and I think we both needed a dose of encouragement.
I got up early because I was nervous I would sleep through. So up by 6, worked on my blog, finished a newsletter for work and had time to catch up on emails before I left. Super productive in a few short hours.
I got in my car and road over to the lake in RSM. It's a flat lake that is just about 1 mile around. A great place to "start over". I wasn't sure which side we were supposed to meet, so I texted her where I parked. She sent me back a message:
????
So I told her I parked on the back of the lake, where should I meet her? She texted back:
"OMG I meant P.M., I'm in bed"
Oh snap! I laughed at our miscommunication, because never said am or pm yet I was here ready to go.........and I didn't want to. Then she texted me, "Go and run, you can do it!"
So I did. My hope was to go 3 miles; but as I was here alone I was now completely in my own head where I was hoping someone else could be. My friend has a gift for motivating me. I'm not so good on my own!
Every time I made the rounds, after each mile, I was right by my car. And every time I passed it I thought, "Okay that's enough, go home". And then I would stop myself. I wouldn't leave until I did at least 3 times around or 30 minutes! (though my original goal was an hour).
Thankfully old training kicked in. The people I look to for support came into my head and made it possible for me to keep going. It's so much easier when someone is yelling at you, but when you need to yell at yourself, sometimes you fall short (you meaning me!)
I enjoyed running. I didn't LOVE it, but I loved many things about it that I can't get from any other sport. I do my best thinking when I'm running. So why it's so hard to get out lately is beyond me.
I finally finished and maintained an 11.39 mile. Anything under 12 makes me happy. I am not a strong runner, but I get the job done!
I'm thankful for my friend even though we didn't actually meet up! She lit a fire under my butt, and that is exactly what I needed.
However, I am looking forward to actually running with her soon!!
Happy Monday!
We said we would meet at 8. I had a photo session at 10 and was pretty well ready for that, but I was a little nervous 8 would be late, but I went anyway, because I wanted to hang with my friend and I think we both needed a dose of encouragement.
I got up early because I was nervous I would sleep through. So up by 6, worked on my blog, finished a newsletter for work and had time to catch up on emails before I left. Super productive in a few short hours.
I got in my car and road over to the lake in RSM. It's a flat lake that is just about 1 mile around. A great place to "start over". I wasn't sure which side we were supposed to meet, so I texted her where I parked. She sent me back a message:
????
So I told her I parked on the back of the lake, where should I meet her? She texted back:
"OMG I meant P.M., I'm in bed"
Oh snap! I laughed at our miscommunication, because never said am or pm yet I was here ready to go.........and I didn't want to. Then she texted me, "Go and run, you can do it!"
So I did. My hope was to go 3 miles; but as I was here alone I was now completely in my own head where I was hoping someone else could be. My friend has a gift for motivating me. I'm not so good on my own!
Every time I made the rounds, after each mile, I was right by my car. And every time I passed it I thought, "Okay that's enough, go home". And then I would stop myself. I wouldn't leave until I did at least 3 times around or 30 minutes! (though my original goal was an hour).
Thankfully old training kicked in. The people I look to for support came into my head and made it possible for me to keep going. It's so much easier when someone is yelling at you, but when you need to yell at yourself, sometimes you fall short (you meaning me!)
I enjoyed running. I didn't LOVE it, but I loved many things about it that I can't get from any other sport. I do my best thinking when I'm running. So why it's so hard to get out lately is beyond me.
I finally finished and maintained an 11.39 mile. Anything under 12 makes me happy. I am not a strong runner, but I get the job done!
I'm thankful for my friend even though we didn't actually meet up! She lit a fire under my butt, and that is exactly what I needed.
However, I am looking forward to actually running with her soon!!
Happy Monday!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Mountains of yesteryear
Yesterday was a pretty busy day.
We put everything off until "later". Well, yesterday, "later" came, and I met it with a vengeance.
Though I'm doing better at hitting more things as they come, it amazed me how much stuff I left in the garage just waiting for a decision.
It's way easier to tackle someone else's 'stuff' because it is easier to toss when you have no emotional attachment.
Thankfully, yesterday I was detached. I was on a mission and had mountains in front of me, and a time constraint to deal with. My kids, however weren't on the same timeline as me. Funny how that happens.
As I opened old bags and boxes sifting through the stuff of yesteryear, they dawdled around looking at this and that and picking out things they wanted to keep, as if shopping in our garage.
We were clearly on different missions.
I sent them off so I could make most executive decisions, but when they would come in and spot something 'interesting' (usually slotted for the DONATE pile) it took me a few minutes of negotiating every time!
Weren't they supposed to be helping?
I could tell by the boxes that some of these things had been out here for years. That is good in most cases, because you have already detached, but every so often, an item would come out and I would have to take a moment. I revisited many memories yesterday, but did it quickly. I had a goal and a deadline and I didn't have wiggle room!
My goal was met - for the most part. I still have mountains of stuff to go through; and without a goal, it is going to be hard to get motivated like that again. All my procrastinations and indecision's staring me in the face.
I wanted to go through more, but ran out of time. I am proud of what I accomplished. About 7 boxes of donations and 5 bags of trash gone. WHEW.....that was great.
Unfortunately, that kind of motivation, determination, and vigor only meet every so often. Like the planets in the sky only align once in a blue moon.
However, if I can hold on to that feeling of accomplishment, I may be able to stir some of it up again and finish the whole job! All I have to do...is find the time!
Happy Sunday!
We put everything off until "later". Well, yesterday, "later" came, and I met it with a vengeance.
Though I'm doing better at hitting more things as they come, it amazed me how much stuff I left in the garage just waiting for a decision.
It's way easier to tackle someone else's 'stuff' because it is easier to toss when you have no emotional attachment.
Thankfully, yesterday I was detached. I was on a mission and had mountains in front of me, and a time constraint to deal with. My kids, however weren't on the same timeline as me. Funny how that happens.
As I opened old bags and boxes sifting through the stuff of yesteryear, they dawdled around looking at this and that and picking out things they wanted to keep, as if shopping in our garage.
We were clearly on different missions.
I sent them off so I could make most executive decisions, but when they would come in and spot something 'interesting' (usually slotted for the DONATE pile) it took me a few minutes of negotiating every time!
Weren't they supposed to be helping?
I could tell by the boxes that some of these things had been out here for years. That is good in most cases, because you have already detached, but every so often, an item would come out and I would have to take a moment. I revisited many memories yesterday, but did it quickly. I had a goal and a deadline and I didn't have wiggle room!
My goal was met - for the most part. I still have mountains of stuff to go through; and without a goal, it is going to be hard to get motivated like that again. All my procrastinations and indecision's staring me in the face.
I wanted to go through more, but ran out of time. I am proud of what I accomplished. About 7 boxes of donations and 5 bags of trash gone. WHEW.....that was great.
Unfortunately, that kind of motivation, determination, and vigor only meet every so often. Like the planets in the sky only align once in a blue moon.
However, if I can hold on to that feeling of accomplishment, I may be able to stir some of it up again and finish the whole job! All I have to do...is find the time!
Happy Sunday!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Father of the Bride
Got up this morning and anxious to veg out. I love weekends for this. And though it will only last a few hours this morning, I will enjoy ever second.
We are watching Father of the Bride with Steve Martin. A Classic.
Chris put it on for Avery, but after realizing we are looking at our future; Chris went upstairs grabbed Aspen out of bed and carried her over his shoulder down the stairs so we can all watch it together.
George Banks is a total ringer for Chris. A father who is not ready or willing to let go. When they showed Annie telling her dad she was getting married and they panned over and she was 7 yrs old sitting in the seat, I could see Chris' face. It was a reminder how fact kids grow.
It is funny how even 11 years ago, this movie had a different meaning to us. It was "so far in the future" that it was just a cute movie.
Now...as we are crowded around the tv together, its meaning is totally different and it all of a sudden feels very real to us.
I love the supermarket scene when he is about to lose it and is pulling the extra hot dog buns. Strangely I have had that mindset. I felt a little uncomfortable when I laughed out loud at his lunacy.
I wish they made more movies like this. All of us are watching it. Do you know how rare that is? To find a movie that all four of us want to watch?
They just dont make them anymore. Either suggestive content, or too graphic, or too boring etc.... some factor always loses one of us.
So this morning I will enjoy our family time, before we have to delve into the days activities of cleaning the garage and house.
At least we are starting the day out on a wholesome note, before it comes crashing down in reality.
Happy Saturday
We are watching Father of the Bride with Steve Martin. A Classic.
Chris put it on for Avery, but after realizing we are looking at our future; Chris went upstairs grabbed Aspen out of bed and carried her over his shoulder down the stairs so we can all watch it together.
George Banks is a total ringer for Chris. A father who is not ready or willing to let go. When they showed Annie telling her dad she was getting married and they panned over and she was 7 yrs old sitting in the seat, I could see Chris' face. It was a reminder how fact kids grow.
It is funny how even 11 years ago, this movie had a different meaning to us. It was "so far in the future" that it was just a cute movie.
Now...as we are crowded around the tv together, its meaning is totally different and it all of a sudden feels very real to us.
I love the supermarket scene when he is about to lose it and is pulling the extra hot dog buns. Strangely I have had that mindset. I felt a little uncomfortable when I laughed out loud at his lunacy.
I wish they made more movies like this. All of us are watching it. Do you know how rare that is? To find a movie that all four of us want to watch?
They just dont make them anymore. Either suggestive content, or too graphic, or too boring etc.... some factor always loses one of us.
So this morning I will enjoy our family time, before we have to delve into the days activities of cleaning the garage and house.
At least we are starting the day out on a wholesome note, before it comes crashing down in reality.
Happy Saturday
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