Compromising....... I feel like I do it all the time.
Compromising with kids, friends, spouse....always compromising something.
But there is nothing worse than when I compromise my values.
I have a really hard time putting things in proper perpestictive sometimes. I'm so emotional, I tend to shoot from the hip. More often than not, it's those around me who pull me back to my senses. And I need a LOT of pulling!!!
An ex-boyfriend of mine told me I "lull" through life. I didn't totally know what that meant, but I have a good sense of it now. After doing it for more than 40 years, you are bound to catch on, right???
I have no real direction, nothing totally grounding me, I just do what I feel and follow the tide.
I have always said I'm more of a follower than a leader. I don't always know what to do, but I'm good at doing what I'm told (sans hubby). :)
It gets frustrating, I will admit. But I feel, at this point it is in my DNA. Not that I can't change, but it's just something not terribly high on my list.
At this point maybe it's a quirk about me, who knows.
I do know I get frustrated by it. This isn't the first blog dedicated to my "lulling" lifestyle.
And, I'm not totally at peace with it. But I sometimes wonder if that inner conflict is the real problem.
I tell my members all the time that they need to apply this weight loss as a journey. But more importantly realize it's THEIR journey. No two outcomes will be exactly the same, despite identical efforts. It's really hard to make people take a look at themselves.
I feel, sometimes like my meetings with my members are more like therapy sessions. God knows I needed a LOT of therapy when I was a member. I still do. And to be honest, I'm still learning. I don't expect that will ever stop.
But if you deny who you are and your efforts, when will you ever be at peace???
I'll be looking more closely at my lull this week and see if it needs tweaking or leaving alone. But I have to look at it once in a while to check in with myself, as I too have the tendency to check out.
I'm not gonna condemn my lull....cuz at this point, it's all I got.
Happy Wednesday
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Lessons from Marilyn
Last night I started watching 7 year itch with Avery. The kids never know when they are going to be blindsided by an old movie, and usually when they are, they moan a little.
However, I think I'm breaking them in, because when I turned it on, she said not a word.....
As we were watching, the first thing I thought was "It's not as good as I remember." But I'm not sure how many Marilyn Monroe movies were made to be "good". I think they were going for more the WOW factor. And they got it.
The first scene she walks in, she is wearing a form fitting dress. She's stunning (as she would be in a paper bag). I told Avery it was Marilyn Monroe and she took notice.
Funny how some names stand the test of time.
As we watched the movie Avery said, "She talks like she isn't smart". I said, "Yep....you are looking at the dumb blond era".
She started asking about Marilyn and I said, "She died in 1962 at the age of 36." Avery looked at me and said, "How'd she die?" I simply looked at her and said, "Drugs".
But as I sat there I couldn't help but think it wasn't drugs. It was her lifestyle.
I showed Avery pictures of her when she was Norma Jean Baker. Avery's jaw dropped. I told her that when you get to hollywood, if you don't fit in, you change your image and voila!
Looking at the difference between Norma Jean:
and Marilyn
I couldn't help but think Norma Jean would be a grandmother to a bunch of kids in some small city somewhere. Possibly still happily married.
Life comes down the choices we make. Sometimes we make choices we think are good, but when played out, turn out to be not the best choice.
As I watched Marilyn in her movie, I wondered, "Did she always talk that way, or was that Hollywood influenced?"
I also wondered what her life would have been if she'd stayed out of the limelight.
I don't know what it is that Hollywood does to people, but it rarely pumps out good samaritans.
Years ago, I put Aspen into print work. She did a couple of ads and it was "cute". But it certainly wasn't worth the time I put into it and I never got a commercial out of it (for all my 3 months of trying). And I have to say, I'm grateful. When Avery came along, her unique coloring and hysterical disposition in life, I considered marketing her for a bit. And then I stopped. I'd rather keep my cute little Norma Jean's at home with me, then farm them out to the world so they can pump out, yet another, Marilyn.....
Happy Tuesday
Monday, February 27, 2012
Time stealers
Lots of things on the list today. Mondays and Wednesdays are my days to get things done. Gonna keep my squirrels in order and turn off distractions and start checking things off the list.
I'm starting to evaluate my times stealers. In some ways, blogging is one of them. It's something I started almost a year ago. And faithfully, every single day; I have written something.
I started it with one thing in mind; to let people know their thoughts (which are usually kept to themselves) are similar to others in the world. That we are not alone.
In the past almost year of writing this, I have been touched by many people. Shocked, first of all that anyone reads it, but complimented that my blog has done what it was set out to do.
I'm no one special. I'm just a person. I have struggles and victories like everyone else. But when one person identifies with something I said, I feel better for it.
I too, need to know I'm not alone.
Many times while writing my blog, people have reached out with advice, or condolences, or inspiration. It's been a really nice place to be. I sometimes wish more people would be less afraid to share how they feel.
As I'm evaluating my time stealers, though this blog is just 20 minutes of my day; it's still 20 minutes of my day.
And though I enjoy writing it, sometimes it's harder than others to come up with something. I guess I will see what this week brings me. But at this time, I would like to thank any and all readers thus far.
Happy Monday
I'm starting to evaluate my times stealers. In some ways, blogging is one of them. It's something I started almost a year ago. And faithfully, every single day; I have written something.
I started it with one thing in mind; to let people know their thoughts (which are usually kept to themselves) are similar to others in the world. That we are not alone.
In the past almost year of writing this, I have been touched by many people. Shocked, first of all that anyone reads it, but complimented that my blog has done what it was set out to do.
I'm no one special. I'm just a person. I have struggles and victories like everyone else. But when one person identifies with something I said, I feel better for it.
I too, need to know I'm not alone.
Many times while writing my blog, people have reached out with advice, or condolences, or inspiration. It's been a really nice place to be. I sometimes wish more people would be less afraid to share how they feel.
As I'm evaluating my time stealers, though this blog is just 20 minutes of my day; it's still 20 minutes of my day.
And though I enjoy writing it, sometimes it's harder than others to come up with something. I guess I will see what this week brings me. But at this time, I would like to thank any and all readers thus far.
Happy Monday
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Cabin pressure dropping.....
Ladies and Gentleman, please keep your seat belts on as there has been a slight shift in cabin pressure. We have gone from a comfortable level, to an uncomfortable and potentially unpleasant shift.
I don't know about you, but that's how it feels in our side of the world this morning...or uh...our side of Mission Viejo....or uh Casanal....as it were.
Ever have days that start out fine and within an instant; it's all NOT fine! YA....here I am. Thanks for commiserating!!
We all have strengths and weaknesses in this life and we do our best to get by. Many times couples choose their opposite. Yin and Yang f you will. You rarely see two people who are exactly the same. And if they are, they could be happy, but who knows. Most of us only portray that on the outside while silently suffering on the inside.
Me, on the other hand....everything is on the outside.
But whatever.
Last night Chris started digging on me, how I leave things out. And he pulled the old, "OH...let ME get that for you" bit. And he put it away. Nice, huh. Yes, I get he's frustrated. And maybe it's his little way of reminding me, "I like things put away!"
I get irritated every time he does it....and he does it frequently.
Yes, he's probably justified, I'm not arguing that. HOWEVER.....aren't there always two sides to every coin???
If we both walked around and stated the obvious, it would be a ridiculous household.
BUT....(yes I went there) to make my point, this morning I pointed his weakness out to HIM (No. I couldn't walk away). Instead of making my point, I just upset the balance and now we have crab central around here, which I'm in no mood to deal with. (yes mom, I left a preposition hanging...sorry).
I had the choice to take the high road, or the low road.....and I went low....way low.
Sometimes I can take the high road, but as I have been gone the last week, and my workload went nowhere, so I'm a little careless about where I leave things. I have other things on my mind. And to my credit, I'm leaving the cereal out for the kids! (Even though they don't eat Fiber One).
Today I will be buying masking tape for my mouth. Because if I went around stating all the little stuff that isn't done, this would be world war III. And it's totally not worth it. Choose your battles they say.
It works for kids and adults alike.
Happy Sunday
I don't know about you, but that's how it feels in our side of the world this morning...or uh...our side of Mission Viejo....or uh Casanal....as it were.
Ever have days that start out fine and within an instant; it's all NOT fine! YA....here I am. Thanks for commiserating!!
We all have strengths and weaknesses in this life and we do our best to get by. Many times couples choose their opposite. Yin and Yang f you will. You rarely see two people who are exactly the same. And if they are, they could be happy, but who knows. Most of us only portray that on the outside while silently suffering on the inside.
Me, on the other hand....everything is on the outside.
But whatever.
Last night Chris started digging on me, how I leave things out. And he pulled the old, "OH...let ME get that for you" bit. And he put it away. Nice, huh. Yes, I get he's frustrated. And maybe it's his little way of reminding me, "I like things put away!"
I get irritated every time he does it....and he does it frequently.
Yes, he's probably justified, I'm not arguing that. HOWEVER.....aren't there always two sides to every coin???
If we both walked around and stated the obvious, it would be a ridiculous household.
BUT....(yes I went there) to make my point, this morning I pointed his weakness out to HIM (No. I couldn't walk away). Instead of making my point, I just upset the balance and now we have crab central around here, which I'm in no mood to deal with. (yes mom, I left a preposition hanging...sorry).
I had the choice to take the high road, or the low road.....and I went low....way low.
Sometimes I can take the high road, but as I have been gone the last week, and my workload went nowhere, so I'm a little careless about where I leave things. I have other things on my mind. And to my credit, I'm leaving the cereal out for the kids! (Even though they don't eat Fiber One).
Today I will be buying masking tape for my mouth. Because if I went around stating all the little stuff that isn't done, this would be world war III. And it's totally not worth it. Choose your battles they say.
It works for kids and adults alike.
Happy Sunday
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Growing pains....
Me thinks me little girl is growing up....... (insert sad face here)
While I was gone this last week I heard a statement that I know is true: Teenagers are creatures of Comparison!
Boy ain't it the truth!
I remember when I was a kid, Ditto Jeans, Sergio Valente, Jordache.....all big brands. My friends had them and so we (my sis and I) wanted them. I think she wanted them more than me. I just liked the saddle but on the Ditto's. Remember those??? YELLOW JEANS ROCKED!!!!
Now as I see my tween starting to pull her little wings out of her egg shells, I'm hearing her opinions grow. And I don't like it!!!
Not that they are bad, because they aren't. It's just another step in the push and pull of life. As she gets older, so does her mother. I'm quickly approaching model 1.0, when before I was Top of the Line.... I'm slipping down the chain of importance.
I had to have a talk today about making sure she "Represents". She said she didn't want to, and I said as long as you are in THIS family, you will!!! Then I started looking around for my dad as I was certain HE was the one who said it.
But as he passed just 12 years ago, and I was the only adult in the room, I realized, I, too am pulling out my can O' Whoopass and layin' the law.
I'm not gonna lie. It was a little uncomfortable to tell her that, because she is a good kid and makes good grades and good choices.
But at this moment, she is going to do something she doesn't want to do, but is her responsibility and duty. Welcome to life, my sweet!!!
I was reminded today that I am her mother. And though my request to her was minor, and I could totally let it go (having her hair in a half ponytail/half bun like she couldn't be bothered), I realized that this is a moment when she has to realize the world doesn't revolve around her. That as we grow, what we do and how we dress is important in how we are assessed by others.
It's MY job to let her know that!!!
Many times in my youth, I made situations all about me! Not because I was trying to, but because I was so self obsessed and depressed, I couldn't be bothered to realize that my actions directly affected those around me. I was well into my 20s before my very dear friend set me straight.
As a mother, I want my kids to learn this WAY before their 20s.
So it is. She is off, her hair is coiffed, her clothes tidy, and a fake smile will be plastered upon her face as she does a duty she doesn't want to do.
And when she is done, she can come home, put her hair however she wants, run around naked for all I care, because at home she can be who she wants. Especially while she's emptying the dishwasher!
Happy Saturday!
While I was gone this last week I heard a statement that I know is true: Teenagers are creatures of Comparison!
Boy ain't it the truth!
I remember when I was a kid, Ditto Jeans, Sergio Valente, Jordache.....all big brands. My friends had them and so we (my sis and I) wanted them. I think she wanted them more than me. I just liked the saddle but on the Ditto's. Remember those??? YELLOW JEANS ROCKED!!!!
Now as I see my tween starting to pull her little wings out of her egg shells, I'm hearing her opinions grow. And I don't like it!!!
Not that they are bad, because they aren't. It's just another step in the push and pull of life. As she gets older, so does her mother. I'm quickly approaching model 1.0, when before I was Top of the Line.... I'm slipping down the chain of importance.
I had to have a talk today about making sure she "Represents". She said she didn't want to, and I said as long as you are in THIS family, you will!!! Then I started looking around for my dad as I was certain HE was the one who said it.
But as he passed just 12 years ago, and I was the only adult in the room, I realized, I, too am pulling out my can O' Whoopass and layin' the law.
I'm not gonna lie. It was a little uncomfortable to tell her that, because she is a good kid and makes good grades and good choices.
But at this moment, she is going to do something she doesn't want to do, but is her responsibility and duty. Welcome to life, my sweet!!!
I was reminded today that I am her mother. And though my request to her was minor, and I could totally let it go (having her hair in a half ponytail/half bun like she couldn't be bothered), I realized that this is a moment when she has to realize the world doesn't revolve around her. That as we grow, what we do and how we dress is important in how we are assessed by others.
It's MY job to let her know that!!!
Many times in my youth, I made situations all about me! Not because I was trying to, but because I was so self obsessed and depressed, I couldn't be bothered to realize that my actions directly affected those around me. I was well into my 20s before my very dear friend set me straight.
As a mother, I want my kids to learn this WAY before their 20s.
So it is. She is off, her hair is coiffed, her clothes tidy, and a fake smile will be plastered upon her face as she does a duty she doesn't want to do.
And when she is done, she can come home, put her hair however she wants, run around naked for all I care, because at home she can be who she wants. Especially while she's emptying the dishwasher!
Happy Saturday!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Horse before cart.....got it!
I kind of feel like today is the start of the rest of my life. I'm really focused now and I'm motivated to start getting things going on a stronger foot. I'm excited to focus my attention to what needs to be done and I'll be more excited to see it all come together.
I just have to work on those darned squirrels!!!
Yesterday I had a bit of time in between meetings and driving (I mean like 45 minutes), and I decided to start "focusing" a bit. However, by the time I left for work again, I realized I had encountered about 10 squirrels that sidetracked me.
That's the problem with learning a lot of different things....sometimes you want to apply them all at once!
BUT, everything has it's place in line and I don't want to put the cart before the horse (as I have heard SO many times this week!)
One of my members came in last night and we were talking about my squirrels. She said, you have to make sure you do the next thing in line. When you have to call someone, you don't just pick up the phone; you make sure you have the number first! Small piece of advice......very wise!!!
I tend to walk around with the phone, and intention, go downstairs, look for the number, put down the phone, do the dishes, get the mail, go to the bathroom, put something away I found in the bathroom and by the time all is said and done, I can't find the phone.
That ever happen to you?
So.....today is the list! Horse first, then cart!
Hopefully, by the time I get home from work, I will have enough vim and vigor to look for the horse.
Happy Friday!
I just have to work on those darned squirrels!!!
Yesterday I had a bit of time in between meetings and driving (I mean like 45 minutes), and I decided to start "focusing" a bit. However, by the time I left for work again, I realized I had encountered about 10 squirrels that sidetracked me.
That's the problem with learning a lot of different things....sometimes you want to apply them all at once!
BUT, everything has it's place in line and I don't want to put the cart before the horse (as I have heard SO many times this week!)
One of my members came in last night and we were talking about my squirrels. She said, you have to make sure you do the next thing in line. When you have to call someone, you don't just pick up the phone; you make sure you have the number first! Small piece of advice......very wise!!!
I tend to walk around with the phone, and intention, go downstairs, look for the number, put down the phone, do the dishes, get the mail, go to the bathroom, put something away I found in the bathroom and by the time all is said and done, I can't find the phone.
That ever happen to you?
So.....today is the list! Horse first, then cart!
Hopefully, by the time I get home from work, I will have enough vim and vigor to look for the horse.
Happy Friday!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Back to life
Once again, I walk through the door from being gone, and I hit the ground running. Pick up Avery, grocery shopping sort pictures for yearbook...yadda yadda yadda.....
I didn't expect the 'stuff' to disappear, but I was hoping it could wait a little longer before it all piled up on me.
We got home fine, without incident. Only took us 4 hours to get home as opposed to the 6.5 it took us to get out there. The drive home was effortless.
This morning I am up and ready to go. Okay...not totally ready, but you get my point. It's life as usual here and I am all ready for a nap. But it is not even 7am. Oh well, I can sleep when I am dead, right?
It is nice getting back to routine, and it will be really nice to NOT be on my butt all day. I will have some un-doing for the next week on that one.
Yesterday when I saw the girls, it warmed my heart. Avery had a smile bigger than I can describe. I didn't get to see aspen until 7:30 as she had dance, but when I did, she came bounding into the car, arms around me, big smack on my face. So nice to see my girls again.
As I am home, I have a lot of stuff to put into play, so I need to fill that into my already tight schedule. But it can be done.
Something tells me this next few months will be a whirlwind. But it will be good.
I can't wait to get started.
Happy Thursday
I didn't expect the 'stuff' to disappear, but I was hoping it could wait a little longer before it all piled up on me.
We got home fine, without incident. Only took us 4 hours to get home as opposed to the 6.5 it took us to get out there. The drive home was effortless.
This morning I am up and ready to go. Okay...not totally ready, but you get my point. It's life as usual here and I am all ready for a nap. But it is not even 7am. Oh well, I can sleep when I am dead, right?
It is nice getting back to routine, and it will be really nice to NOT be on my butt all day. I will have some un-doing for the next week on that one.
Yesterday when I saw the girls, it warmed my heart. Avery had a smile bigger than I can describe. I didn't get to see aspen until 7:30 as she had dance, but when I did, she came bounding into the car, arms around me, big smack on my face. So nice to see my girls again.
As I am home, I have a lot of stuff to put into play, so I need to fill that into my already tight schedule. But it can be done.
Something tells me this next few months will be a whirlwind. But it will be good.
I can't wait to get started.
Happy Thursday
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Well, we are bringing this trip to a close. Our bottoms hurt from the hours of sitting, our brains hurts from the major influx of knowledge, and our feet hurt from the endless walks at the trade show.
I know guys who do this all the time. My husband used to complain about it, and I used to call him a baby. After my first trade show, I got it.
I revisited a booth yesterday to ask a guy a question I had thought about for his products. I had seen him the day before. He was full of vigor and excitement about his product, definitely amped up. As I approached him yesterday, towards the end of the day, some of the spark left his eye. He was still excited to be here, but the energy was slowly seeping out of his body, as I could see it on his face.
As I walked out of the trade show yesterday back towards my room, I could see the spark diminishing from many people. Less we're smiling, more were outside on the phone, classes becoming less crowded, and people getting a little more irritable.
It's a funny transition to watch. I wish I could stay a few more days and see how it all plays out. But alas, it it time to get back home.
As I reflect back on my trip, many things run through my mind on what I learned, and I am excited to put much of it into play.
But the thing I am most thankful for on this trip, seriously, is my espresso maker. I payed $79 for it, and this week it paid itself off tenfold. Not only did I NOT have to drink crappy hotel coffee maker coffee (cuz we weren't provided any), but I didn't have to wait in those long, ridiculous lines standing behind grumpy uncaffeinated people, and pay premium fees for something I could easily make.
When I got in the elevator one morning and mentioned to the Starbucks seekers that I had already had my coffee, they looked at me in awe. I made myself a skinny vanilla latte and I was ready for my day. I was very proud at their dumbfounded faces, because as they were going to wait in line, I got to proceed to my event.
A little planning goes a long way!
My kids have called every day looking for their mommy. I have heard their stories and they have heard mine. When I go home they will be embellished with lots of shmuttas, and soon forget I was ever gone.
It was a good trip. Now I just need to put all this information to good use.
Hears to striking while the iron is HOT.
Happy ......what day is this?
I know guys who do this all the time. My husband used to complain about it, and I used to call him a baby. After my first trade show, I got it.
I revisited a booth yesterday to ask a guy a question I had thought about for his products. I had seen him the day before. He was full of vigor and excitement about his product, definitely amped up. As I approached him yesterday, towards the end of the day, some of the spark left his eye. He was still excited to be here, but the energy was slowly seeping out of his body, as I could see it on his face.
As I walked out of the trade show yesterday back towards my room, I could see the spark diminishing from many people. Less we're smiling, more were outside on the phone, classes becoming less crowded, and people getting a little more irritable.
It's a funny transition to watch. I wish I could stay a few more days and see how it all plays out. But alas, it it time to get back home.
As I reflect back on my trip, many things run through my mind on what I learned, and I am excited to put much of it into play.
But the thing I am most thankful for on this trip, seriously, is my espresso maker. I payed $79 for it, and this week it paid itself off tenfold. Not only did I NOT have to drink crappy hotel coffee maker coffee (cuz we weren't provided any), but I didn't have to wait in those long, ridiculous lines standing behind grumpy uncaffeinated people, and pay premium fees for something I could easily make.
When I got in the elevator one morning and mentioned to the Starbucks seekers that I had already had my coffee, they looked at me in awe. I made myself a skinny vanilla latte and I was ready for my day. I was very proud at their dumbfounded faces, because as they were going to wait in line, I got to proceed to my event.
A little planning goes a long way!
My kids have called every day looking for their mommy. I have heard their stories and they have heard mine. When I go home they will be embellished with lots of shmuttas, and soon forget I was ever gone.
It was a good trip. Now I just need to put all this information to good use.
Hears to striking while the iron is HOT.
Happy ......what day is this?
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
You ever wanna bottle someone up and take them home with you? I did. Last night.
Ingrid Michaleson. But she was gone before I could grab her.
Didn't even know who she was a few weeks ago. But thanks to dance and my girls, they came home singing her songs over and over. Soon they were begging to download her.
I'm like, "Who? And they're like, "Ingrid Michaelson!"
And just "like" that, it was done.
So if you know anything about me and the girls, when we get new music we play it over and over and over and over......well, you get the idea, we play it a lot. So let's just say Ingrid and I go way back at this point.
I am not very good at keeping up with the current artists and to be honest, if it weren't for my kids, I would still be listening to the BeeGees. (okay, not really, but you get the point.)
So how surprised was I, when I sat down in my photo meeting to see a picture of Ingrid on my seat? Never heard of her to 'she's all over the place'. I was instantly excited.
The card was just an ad for some music to be used in slide presentations, and mentioned a special performance, and you need tickets to see it. The places where I could get the tickets were all closed, so my hopes were immediately dashed.
But as I a sitting there, in a room of 200+ people, this guy comes up to these girls next to me and hands something quietly to the. I listen intently and realize they are tickets for the show. My eyes widen.
Two things you need to know about me,
First, I HATE concerts!! Too many people, music too loud, anxiety attacks,etc.... It's not my bag.
And second, I do NOT ask for stuff from people who are not soliciting to me.
But as I watched this guy talking to these girls, I stared him down until he noticed me. I smiled and looked at him eagerly and said, "Ingrid Michaelson????". (I am not gonna lie, my eyes were hopeful and pleading. ) I could tell he wasn't prepared to hand them over as he had carefully selected these ladies beside me. But I held his gaze and my smile got bigger. I wasn't going down without a fight.
He looked at the tickets and he looked at me......and then he handed them over. He quietly muttered, "these were my last two tickets"..... And walked away. But not before I thanked him profusely. I could tell that was not what he wanted to do, but I honestly want him to know those tickets were where they were meant to be.
One more thing you don't know about me, I do not attend events after 8pm, because I get tired! No. Movies, nothing.
This show was at 10:45pm..... I took a gulp. Could I make it? I have been sitting in meetings all day and I am really tired.
But it meant that much.
We went into a venue that seated about 500. We were about 6th row back. She came on and played a whole set with a guitar and a piano. She was funny, witty, and so very talented. She had that whole room in complete silence.
If she played again, I would take my girls. They would love it. When they found out I was going they asked for a souvenir. As it wasn't that kind of venue, they were handing out the special engagement tickets that we used to get in. People were standing in line (me included) to get them as a souvenir. This girl will go somewhere.
And as I couldn't bottle her up and take her home, she is now available to share with the world.
You are welcome.
Happy Tuesday
Ingrid Michaleson. But she was gone before I could grab her.
Didn't even know who she was a few weeks ago. But thanks to dance and my girls, they came home singing her songs over and over. Soon they were begging to download her.
I'm like, "Who? And they're like, "Ingrid Michaelson!"
And just "like" that, it was done.
So if you know anything about me and the girls, when we get new music we play it over and over and over and over......well, you get the idea, we play it a lot. So let's just say Ingrid and I go way back at this point.
I am not very good at keeping up with the current artists and to be honest, if it weren't for my kids, I would still be listening to the BeeGees. (okay, not really, but you get the point.)
So how surprised was I, when I sat down in my photo meeting to see a picture of Ingrid on my seat? Never heard of her to 'she's all over the place'. I was instantly excited.
The card was just an ad for some music to be used in slide presentations, and mentioned a special performance, and you need tickets to see it. The places where I could get the tickets were all closed, so my hopes were immediately dashed.
But as I a sitting there, in a room of 200+ people, this guy comes up to these girls next to me and hands something quietly to the. I listen intently and realize they are tickets for the show. My eyes widen.
Two things you need to know about me,
First, I HATE concerts!! Too many people, music too loud, anxiety attacks,etc.... It's not my bag.
And second, I do NOT ask for stuff from people who are not soliciting to me.
But as I watched this guy talking to these girls, I stared him down until he noticed me. I smiled and looked at him eagerly and said, "Ingrid Michaelson????". (I am not gonna lie, my eyes were hopeful and pleading. ) I could tell he wasn't prepared to hand them over as he had carefully selected these ladies beside me. But I held his gaze and my smile got bigger. I wasn't going down without a fight.
He looked at the tickets and he looked at me......and then he handed them over. He quietly muttered, "these were my last two tickets"..... And walked away. But not before I thanked him profusely. I could tell that was not what he wanted to do, but I honestly want him to know those tickets were where they were meant to be.
One more thing you don't know about me, I do not attend events after 8pm, because I get tired! No. Movies, nothing.
This show was at 10:45pm..... I took a gulp. Could I make it? I have been sitting in meetings all day and I am really tired.
But it meant that much.
We went into a venue that seated about 500. We were about 6th row back. She came on and played a whole set with a guitar and a piano. She was funny, witty, and so very talented. She had that whole room in complete silence.
If she played again, I would take my girls. They would love it. When they found out I was going they asked for a souvenir. As it wasn't that kind of venue, they were handing out the special engagement tickets that we used to get in. People were standing in line (me included) to get them as a souvenir. This girl will go somewhere.
And as I couldn't bottle her up and take her home, she is now available to share with the world.
You are welcome.
Happy Tuesday
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Separation anxiety
Got a heartbreaking call from a very sad girl who missed her mommy.
Talk about trying to find balance in the world. Everything can make sense in your mind until you get a call from your little girl who misses you.....
And just like that, nothing makes sense.
I am doing my best to hyperfocus on my goals and dreams so I can better support my family. I have schedules set, kids taken care of, classes picked out and I am in full swing. At the time I got the phone call, I was leaving a photographers showcase. It was my first available minute of the day to receive a phone call.
At the time, I was in a heated discussion about tools to put into play for the upcoming months. Ideas were rolling, and motivation firing.......
And then in a heartbeat, I am standing in the middle of a smoke filled casino, frozen in my spot trying to connect with a little pret teen heart that missed her mom.
In one fell-swoop, I am left standing, listening to a little voice, wondering what brought me to this place so far away from home.
It is humbling to be a mother. I live my every day giving to and making choices for my kids.
This trip is about my kids as much as it is about myself. And I have to remind myself of that as I am standing in the casino, with tiny cracks forming in my heart.
I can do this.
I get through the phone call and promptly yell at my husband for letting it happen. He knows as well as I do that I am here for a reason. He is my support system. He knows this was a hard phone call.
No one said motherhood was easy. It is a constant balance of making tough decisions on a daily basis. Some are less popular than others. But they necessary. I think I just need to make a few more calls along the way.
Happy Monday
Talk about trying to find balance in the world. Everything can make sense in your mind until you get a call from your little girl who misses you.....
And just like that, nothing makes sense.
I am doing my best to hyperfocus on my goals and dreams so I can better support my family. I have schedules set, kids taken care of, classes picked out and I am in full swing. At the time I got the phone call, I was leaving a photographers showcase. It was my first available minute of the day to receive a phone call.
At the time, I was in a heated discussion about tools to put into play for the upcoming months. Ideas were rolling, and motivation firing.......
And then in a heartbeat, I am standing in the middle of a smoke filled casino, frozen in my spot trying to connect with a little pret teen heart that missed her mom.
In one fell-swoop, I am left standing, listening to a little voice, wondering what brought me to this place so far away from home.
It is humbling to be a mother. I live my every day giving to and making choices for my kids.
This trip is about my kids as much as it is about myself. And I have to remind myself of that as I am standing in the casino, with tiny cracks forming in my heart.
I can do this.
I get through the phone call and promptly yell at my husband for letting it happen. He knows as well as I do that I am here for a reason. He is my support system. He knows this was a hard phone call.
No one said motherhood was easy. It is a constant balance of making tough decisions on a daily basis. Some are less popular than others. But they necessary. I think I just need to make a few more calls along the way.
Happy Monday
The world is your oyster
Today we are taking classes. We get to take any class we want so we can learn and grow...
What an exciting concept. Learning anything you want!
That is what we get to do while we are here. We looked over the whole weeks schedule and we found many classes?
Every year we make a plan and choose classes. Asked on our plan. We tag team and take classes and share notes so we can enrich ourselves with knowledge and ideas.
Photographers come from all around the world. Some I have seen many times, and it never gets old.
Artists need inspiration, motivation, and support. This time of year is when I get it.
As we were doing research on classes, I perused the websites of the speakers to see if their work 'spoke' to me.
It would be easy to repeat the people we saw last year, but it is more exciting to get different points of view. Some artists are really out there. And though I wouldn't aspire to be them, they give really interesting insight.
Today is day one, by day 3 and 4, I will likely start to burn out on advice overload.
My goal is to come home and put all this great information to practical use.
I can't wait to get started. This is the one place where so many people 'get me'.
Wish me luck!
Happy Sunday
What an exciting concept. Learning anything you want!
That is what we get to do while we are here. We looked over the whole weeks schedule and we found many classes?
Every year we make a plan and choose classes. Asked on our plan. We tag team and take classes and share notes so we can enrich ourselves with knowledge and ideas.
Photographers come from all around the world. Some I have seen many times, and it never gets old.
Artists need inspiration, motivation, and support. This time of year is when I get it.
As we were doing research on classes, I perused the websites of the speakers to see if their work 'spoke' to me.
It would be easy to repeat the people we saw last year, but it is more exciting to get different points of view. Some artists are really out there. And though I wouldn't aspire to be them, they give really interesting insight.
Today is day one, by day 3 and 4, I will likely start to burn out on advice overload.
My goal is to come home and put all this great information to practical use.
I can't wait to get started. This is the one place where so many people 'get me'.
Wish me luck!
Happy Sunday
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Long drive
Longest drive ever to Vegas.
I knew with the long weekend we were in for it, but I had no idea we would add two hours on to our already long commute.
The drive went down easy as I was with a non stress friend.
One thing is for sure, life is what you make it. If you are going an average of 25 mph on a trip that is over 250 miles, you had better be with someone you like.
This is a potentially stressful situation. It is unfortunate, and by what we could tell, other than being a bunch of weekenders, there was no reason for the traffic.
This happened to us a few years ago on our trip home from Vegas. We cut our trip short because someone (I am not saying who but it wasn't me) wanted to get home in time for American idol.
As we dashed out of Vegas with high hopes of getting home in good time, our plans were quickly dashed...with 13 miles of construction and a million other cars with the same idea in mind. As we sat, feeling a bit stressed and having no idea how long we would be parked, we got a little quiet. And then something happened. Julie started getting the giggles. And as I looked at her with an ounce of concern that she was losing her mind, it was only minutes before I was joining in. I'm not one to leave a laughing person alone. Next thing you know, she was standing out the sunroof taking pictures and all the parked people were posing. It was a trip I will never forget. I don't remember whether she made it to American idol, but I do remember having a great time getting there.
As we drove yesterday, the giggles started again. And just like that, our six hour drive to Vegas turned into a memorable and fun time.
You can create stress, or you can alleviate it. More often than not, stress is totally unnecessary. If you are in a situation that you can't change, you'd better find a way to start loving it fast. Misery isn't worth it.
I don't want to spend my days wondering how it could have been better. Especially when I have the power to make it better at any given moment.
It's all how you look at it. If you don't like what you are looking at, change your perspective.
Happy Saturday
I knew with the long weekend we were in for it, but I had no idea we would add two hours on to our already long commute.
The drive went down easy as I was with a non stress friend.
One thing is for sure, life is what you make it. If you are going an average of 25 mph on a trip that is over 250 miles, you had better be with someone you like.
This is a potentially stressful situation. It is unfortunate, and by what we could tell, other than being a bunch of weekenders, there was no reason for the traffic.
This happened to us a few years ago on our trip home from Vegas. We cut our trip short because someone (I am not saying who but it wasn't me) wanted to get home in time for American idol.
As we dashed out of Vegas with high hopes of getting home in good time, our plans were quickly dashed...with 13 miles of construction and a million other cars with the same idea in mind. As we sat, feeling a bit stressed and having no idea how long we would be parked, we got a little quiet. And then something happened. Julie started getting the giggles. And as I looked at her with an ounce of concern that she was losing her mind, it was only minutes before I was joining in. I'm not one to leave a laughing person alone. Next thing you know, she was standing out the sunroof taking pictures and all the parked people were posing. It was a trip I will never forget. I don't remember whether she made it to American idol, but I do remember having a great time getting there.
As we drove yesterday, the giggles started again. And just like that, our six hour drive to Vegas turned into a memorable and fun time.
You can create stress, or you can alleviate it. More often than not, stress is totally unnecessary. If you are in a situation that you can't change, you'd better find a way to start loving it fast. Misery isn't worth it.
I don't want to spend my days wondering how it could have been better. Especially when I have the power to make it better at any given moment.
It's all how you look at it. If you don't like what you are looking at, change your perspective.
Happy Saturday
Friday, February 17, 2012
Pot-stirrer
So, yesterday I wrote a letter to my daughters, however I know it's a letter that we can all apply to our lives. I wrote the letter before more drama unfolded. Now I have more to add.
I knew girls came with drama. I'm a girl and drama followed me. But now, I'm at an age where I pick and choose, and the truth is, I want to choose a little less drama.
I have found that when my body gets stressed, I completely tense up (or start eating mindlessly, but we won't go there today).
I don't like that kind of stress, so I usually try to avoid it. Stress can totally wreck your body!
However....yesterday, I pulled out the biggest spoon I had and I stirred the pot quite a bit. And at this time, I'm not happy whether I did or not, because I'm at the point I need to decide to keep the spoon in,or pull it out.
Decisions, decisions!!!
When it's my own stuff, I can take it or leave it. But when it's my kids....well....it's another story.
Now the drama isn't huge. It's little kid stuff. However, it's my little kid and so I take it to heart.
If I pull the spoon out now, I risk doing someone a dis-service. I short them the chance to correct the situation.
But if I keep the spoon in, I risk drama and hurt feelings.......
I have always been surrounded by amazing people. They tell it like it is and if I don't like it - too bad. But it's usually something I need to hear and it told to me out of love.
As I don't have that relationship with this other situation, it makes it hard. And I could easily walk away and I won't be affected one way or the other. But they will...... I have the chance to make this a good situation if the information I share is heard with the intent delivered. But as I don't know how it will be recieved, this is where I ponder....
So I have a decision to make. I'm not going to pull the trigger without some thought, so I will keep the spoon in for a while and not stir a thing. But the next time I touch the spoon....my decison will be made.
(if you are paranoid thinking it's you....it's not.....if you are reading this, you know me and therefore you are not the issue!)
Here's to hoping for the best!!!
Happy Friday!
I knew girls came with drama. I'm a girl and drama followed me. But now, I'm at an age where I pick and choose, and the truth is, I want to choose a little less drama.
I have found that when my body gets stressed, I completely tense up (or start eating mindlessly, but we won't go there today).
I don't like that kind of stress, so I usually try to avoid it. Stress can totally wreck your body!
However....yesterday, I pulled out the biggest spoon I had and I stirred the pot quite a bit. And at this time, I'm not happy whether I did or not, because I'm at the point I need to decide to keep the spoon in,or pull it out.
Decisions, decisions!!!
When it's my own stuff, I can take it or leave it. But when it's my kids....well....it's another story.
Now the drama isn't huge. It's little kid stuff. However, it's my little kid and so I take it to heart.
If I pull the spoon out now, I risk doing someone a dis-service. I short them the chance to correct the situation.
But if I keep the spoon in, I risk drama and hurt feelings.......
I have always been surrounded by amazing people. They tell it like it is and if I don't like it - too bad. But it's usually something I need to hear and it told to me out of love.
As I don't have that relationship with this other situation, it makes it hard. And I could easily walk away and I won't be affected one way or the other. But they will...... I have the chance to make this a good situation if the information I share is heard with the intent delivered. But as I don't know how it will be recieved, this is where I ponder....
So I have a decision to make. I'm not going to pull the trigger without some thought, so I will keep the spoon in for a while and not stir a thing. But the next time I touch the spoon....my decison will be made.
(if you are paranoid thinking it's you....it's not.....if you are reading this, you know me and therefore you are not the issue!)
Here's to hoping for the best!!!
Happy Friday!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Dear Daughters
Dear Daughters,
Life is hard. It's a lot of figuring stuff out and a lot of mental negotiations. People aren't always nice, and they don't always do the right thing. You can't control what others do to you. But you can control what you do in return.
My mother gave me the best advice of my life when I was 18. I was dealing with people in a new job and I mentioned that one lady was "difficult". She told me "There's a prick in every bunch" (she was referring to flowers as a metaphor for people). She was right.
As I entered different jobs, I found one every time. Someone who is self righteous; someone who lives and dies by their job; someone who is oblivious; someone who is cut throat; someone who just doesn't care about how they affect anyone else.
In all my life, I never tried to control them or change them. I simply tried to figure out what made them tic and rolled with it.
To fight what is, is a futile battle. To roll with it, makes the ride a bit easier. And not every ride is the same.
In some cases you will be the difficult one. Deal with it. But realize that your actions can always affect another. It is up to you whether you make that choice a positive or a negative one.
Your support system is very important. Build your foundation of friends and hold them tight. Be there for them, and they will be there for you. And if one falls astray (as will most certainly happen), be kind and roll with it.
That said, don't ever let anyone treat you badly. But in return treat others as you wish to be treated. Don't accept less from others than you are willing to give of yourself.
Life is confusing and hard. Patience and understanding is necessary.
Look at the world around you with interest instead of judgement. You will find it more intriguing and less depressing.
Love deeply, laugh passionately, forgive wholeheartedly.
My advice doesn't come overnight. It comes from lifelong trials.
Remember, you cannot control what others do to you.....but you can control how you respond. Choose wisely!
Love,
Your Mother!
Life is hard. It's a lot of figuring stuff out and a lot of mental negotiations. People aren't always nice, and they don't always do the right thing. You can't control what others do to you. But you can control what you do in return.
My mother gave me the best advice of my life when I was 18. I was dealing with people in a new job and I mentioned that one lady was "difficult". She told me "There's a prick in every bunch" (she was referring to flowers as a metaphor for people). She was right.
As I entered different jobs, I found one every time. Someone who is self righteous; someone who lives and dies by their job; someone who is oblivious; someone who is cut throat; someone who just doesn't care about how they affect anyone else.
In all my life, I never tried to control them or change them. I simply tried to figure out what made them tic and rolled with it.
To fight what is, is a futile battle. To roll with it, makes the ride a bit easier. And not every ride is the same.
In some cases you will be the difficult one. Deal with it. But realize that your actions can always affect another. It is up to you whether you make that choice a positive or a negative one.
Your support system is very important. Build your foundation of friends and hold them tight. Be there for them, and they will be there for you. And if one falls astray (as will most certainly happen), be kind and roll with it.
That said, don't ever let anyone treat you badly. But in return treat others as you wish to be treated. Don't accept less from others than you are willing to give of yourself.
Life is confusing and hard. Patience and understanding is necessary.
Look at the world around you with interest instead of judgement. You will find it more intriguing and less depressing.
Love deeply, laugh passionately, forgive wholeheartedly.
My advice doesn't come overnight. It comes from lifelong trials.
Remember, you cannot control what others do to you.....but you can control how you respond. Choose wisely!
Love,
Your Mother!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Every day gets filled
I still don't know how it happens but when I look forward to my "days off", they end up getting filled with something! It's crazy!
I remember talking about staying home after the kids were born and a co worker laughed at all the plans I had made. It's like she knew most of them wouldn't get done due to one thing or another!
I woke up this morning with a slight sense of dread. Feeling like another day has gone awry, and the only thing I can attribute that to is my lack of planning.
I still struggle for focus and it gets really frustrating.
At the table last night we were all having a conversation and I changed the subject, because I had just remembered something and my littlest looked at me, dropped her jaw made a funny hand gesture and said, "Oh my gosh mom, SQUIRREL".
Sad when a 9 year old calls you out.
Truth is, I'm sure I have A.D.D. I have never been focused and I have always been frustrated. If you look around me, I am surrounded by overly focused people to keep me straight. I think I'm drawn to them.
We all have strengths....I have said that before. But how you handle your weaknesses is key!!!
Thankfully, my "Squirrel-ness" hasn't killed anyone yet. But there's always tomorrow.
Happy Wednesday
I remember talking about staying home after the kids were born and a co worker laughed at all the plans I had made. It's like she knew most of them wouldn't get done due to one thing or another!
I woke up this morning with a slight sense of dread. Feeling like another day has gone awry, and the only thing I can attribute that to is my lack of planning.
I still struggle for focus and it gets really frustrating.
At the table last night we were all having a conversation and I changed the subject, because I had just remembered something and my littlest looked at me, dropped her jaw made a funny hand gesture and said, "Oh my gosh mom, SQUIRREL".
Sad when a 9 year old calls you out.
Truth is, I'm sure I have A.D.D. I have never been focused and I have always been frustrated. If you look around me, I am surrounded by overly focused people to keep me straight. I think I'm drawn to them.
We all have strengths....I have said that before. But how you handle your weaknesses is key!!!
Thankfully, my "Squirrel-ness" hasn't killed anyone yet. But there's always tomorrow.
Happy Wednesday
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
fighting over air
I'm always listening to people and taking their issues under advisement. I can't help myself, because I realize much of what I hear are teaching moments. I know that some day there is a chance I will have to apply some of what I heard in my own life situation. Example:
I have a friend who has two daughters. They are older now, but years ago I asked how they got along. And he said, "They fight over air". I laughed out loud, because I remember my sister and I doing the same thing.
This morning, it came into play. SOMEBODY WAS TOUCHING SOMETHING!!!! And that's all it took.
I'm pretty lucky, because I realize that my girls get along quite well most of the time. They are polar opposites like my sister and I. It's hard for any two people to live together, but when you are so opposite, it's even harder.
Yes, they bicker, sometimes taunt each other, but for the most part, they get along. But I know as they get older, their fights will grow and all hell will break loose at times.
As of this morning, I'm not ready for it, therefore, I'm not putting up with it. I have already separated them, because I am not in the mood.
Is it okay to not be in the mood to let your kids grow up???
Well as mom of the house, I will reserve my right.
I have a friend who is sooooooo good in talking to her girls. So good in fact, that I have found myself watching her as though I'm in a movie watching a scene unfold.
This gift she gives to her kids is the gift of time. The gift of listening. The gift of reasoning. The gift of patience. It's just awesome.
Unfortunately, my kids get none of that, because I'm not that mom. They are welcome to move in any time, I have offered that up to them, but so far, they have decided to stay with me.
And as that is the case, today I'm not in the mood to let the grow up, I don't want to listen to them fighting over air, and I certainly don't have to put up with it!
Happy Valentines Day! :D
I have a friend who has two daughters. They are older now, but years ago I asked how they got along. And he said, "They fight over air". I laughed out loud, because I remember my sister and I doing the same thing.
This morning, it came into play. SOMEBODY WAS TOUCHING SOMETHING!!!! And that's all it took.
I'm pretty lucky, because I realize that my girls get along quite well most of the time. They are polar opposites like my sister and I. It's hard for any two people to live together, but when you are so opposite, it's even harder.
Yes, they bicker, sometimes taunt each other, but for the most part, they get along. But I know as they get older, their fights will grow and all hell will break loose at times.
As of this morning, I'm not ready for it, therefore, I'm not putting up with it. I have already separated them, because I am not in the mood.
Is it okay to not be in the mood to let your kids grow up???
Well as mom of the house, I will reserve my right.
I have a friend who is sooooooo good in talking to her girls. So good in fact, that I have found myself watching her as though I'm in a movie watching a scene unfold.
This gift she gives to her kids is the gift of time. The gift of listening. The gift of reasoning. The gift of patience. It's just awesome.
Unfortunately, my kids get none of that, because I'm not that mom. They are welcome to move in any time, I have offered that up to them, but so far, they have decided to stay with me.
And as that is the case, today I'm not in the mood to let the grow up, I don't want to listen to them fighting over air, and I certainly don't have to put up with it!
Happy Valentines Day! :D
Monday, February 13, 2012
12 hour days.....
It takes a special person to be able to shoot a wedding. It's usually a 10-12 hour day. It's a lot of lugging stuff around, planning shots and anticipating.
I know a lot of people get "sticker shock" when it comes to wedding prices. I totally get that. But what they don't get is that there is so much behind the scene stuff that goes on.
A good photographer works as a team with all the other people hired for the event. Sometimes this is a good relationship and sometimes not. In yesterdays case, we coordinated with the Bride, Groom, Wedding coordinators, Videographers, DJ, and Wait Staff to make sure all shots were done in between everyone else's tasks.
If you act unilaterally, you are bound to upset people.
Take the videographer for instance. I showed up to the grooms room to take pictures of him and his guys getting ready. But they weren't there.
The videographer totally forgot to take me into consideration and stole the guys over to a location of which I was not privy to. Thankfully there were people in the room to direct me, and I had to walk about 6 blocks to go find them. Not the best moment of the day. But not unfixable.
Thankfully, I got some great shots and proceeded with the day.
This event had 2 photographers ( a wise choice) and that makes the day go smoother. I can deal with one half of things while the Main photographer (in this instance) handles the other half of things.
There were lots of emotions going. Bride getting stressed due to timeline and whatnot. Totally normal. Everything worked out fine and we did our best to keep her happy. It is imperative that her day go well. We can handle our stuff on the side.
When it comes time for the reception, it's important that the DJ coordinate with the photographers, because if they DJ screams out an event, and the photographer is off getting candid moments elsewhere, or off to the restroom, something gets missed.
Being a photographer is a LOT of watching and anticipating. It's a lot of connecting with the bridal party, their family and all the guests. It's about being ready to be called over at any second. It's a lot of waiting for the moments to happen. It's a LOT of energy.......
At the end of the day, it's all worth it. You not have 200 of your closest friends in a room with you as you say your goodbyes. And then the work begins.....
Editing, posting, building and ordering the album and pictures... They day at the wedding is just the beginning. The real job, the one that proves your worth comes after.
Thankfully at this wedding I was a second shooter and I got to sleep in.
Hug a photographer
Happy Monday
I know a lot of people get "sticker shock" when it comes to wedding prices. I totally get that. But what they don't get is that there is so much behind the scene stuff that goes on.
A good photographer works as a team with all the other people hired for the event. Sometimes this is a good relationship and sometimes not. In yesterdays case, we coordinated with the Bride, Groom, Wedding coordinators, Videographers, DJ, and Wait Staff to make sure all shots were done in between everyone else's tasks.
If you act unilaterally, you are bound to upset people.
Take the videographer for instance. I showed up to the grooms room to take pictures of him and his guys getting ready. But they weren't there.
The videographer totally forgot to take me into consideration and stole the guys over to a location of which I was not privy to. Thankfully there were people in the room to direct me, and I had to walk about 6 blocks to go find them. Not the best moment of the day. But not unfixable.
Thankfully, I got some great shots and proceeded with the day.
This event had 2 photographers ( a wise choice) and that makes the day go smoother. I can deal with one half of things while the Main photographer (in this instance) handles the other half of things.
There were lots of emotions going. Bride getting stressed due to timeline and whatnot. Totally normal. Everything worked out fine and we did our best to keep her happy. It is imperative that her day go well. We can handle our stuff on the side.
When it comes time for the reception, it's important that the DJ coordinate with the photographers, because if they DJ screams out an event, and the photographer is off getting candid moments elsewhere, or off to the restroom, something gets missed.
Being a photographer is a LOT of watching and anticipating. It's a lot of connecting with the bridal party, their family and all the guests. It's about being ready to be called over at any second. It's a lot of waiting for the moments to happen. It's a LOT of energy.......
At the end of the day, it's all worth it. You not have 200 of your closest friends in a room with you as you say your goodbyes. And then the work begins.....
Editing, posting, building and ordering the album and pictures... They day at the wedding is just the beginning. The real job, the one that proves your worth comes after.
Thankfully at this wedding I was a second shooter and I got to sleep in.
Hug a photographer
Happy Monday
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Whitney......and the like
Tragedy.
It seems fitting for what happened to Whitney. Absolute TRAGEDY!!!!
So talented - so beautiful - so young.......
The ONLY thing I can say for her is she will be immortalized as a young and beautiful woman. Just like Marilyn.
Buy WHY????
Life can be so confusing at times. We have the chance at every success, and most of us overlook the possibilities. But here was possibility and potential all wrapped up in beauty and talent.
She had it all, yet she threw it away because of one bad choice after another.
At this time, it is unknown how she died. But her history will likely dictate that for us.....
An addiction that no doubt helped her escape her "reality".
All speculation.....take nothing for "word" as I honestly don't know.
But my mind runs rampant as it is looking for reason. And likely, it will never find it. There is NO reason, why a young, beautiful, talented woman should lose her life. No reason at all.
Most of us fight for our lives every day. It would be ludicrous that we throw away a priceless gift.
Yet some do.
Not because they want to. But because they don't know any different.
Whitney, please know that you have been a part of my life from teens until today. Your songs have impacted me, touched me and moved me. Your beauty was unsurpassed on many levels. In my wildest dreams I would never guess this end for you. I would never want it and never imagine it. You were beautiful, talented and worthwhile. I'm sorry for your sudden ending. My heart aches for you and your children. Your children who will never understand why.
My prayers are out to Whitney and her family and friends.
What a tragedy.....another Hollywood tragedy.....
Happy Sunday
It seems fitting for what happened to Whitney. Absolute TRAGEDY!!!!
So talented - so beautiful - so young.......
The ONLY thing I can say for her is she will be immortalized as a young and beautiful woman. Just like Marilyn.
Buy WHY????
Life can be so confusing at times. We have the chance at every success, and most of us overlook the possibilities. But here was possibility and potential all wrapped up in beauty and talent.
She had it all, yet she threw it away because of one bad choice after another.
At this time, it is unknown how she died. But her history will likely dictate that for us.....
An addiction that no doubt helped her escape her "reality".
All speculation.....take nothing for "word" as I honestly don't know.
But my mind runs rampant as it is looking for reason. And likely, it will never find it. There is NO reason, why a young, beautiful, talented woman should lose her life. No reason at all.
Most of us fight for our lives every day. It would be ludicrous that we throw away a priceless gift.
Yet some do.
Not because they want to. But because they don't know any different.
Whitney, please know that you have been a part of my life from teens until today. Your songs have impacted me, touched me and moved me. Your beauty was unsurpassed on many levels. In my wildest dreams I would never guess this end for you. I would never want it and never imagine it. You were beautiful, talented and worthwhile. I'm sorry for your sudden ending. My heart aches for you and your children. Your children who will never understand why.
My prayers are out to Whitney and her family and friends.
What a tragedy.....another Hollywood tragedy.....
Happy Sunday
This is it!
It's not fun around here this morning. With preparations comes stress, and with stress comes yelling! I'm up at 6:30 making sandwiches and ordering everyone around. Not only do they not want to hear my orders, when their things don't go right, I get to hear about it.
I hate the frustrations that come with this time. Everyone is stressed out making sure they have everything, and if something doesn't go as planned, all hell breaks loose.
THIS is the part of competition I could do without.
However, the sandwiches have been made, the ice is on its way, and I just have to get myself together so we can get out of here.
As I have a wedding to shoot tomorrow, I am on high alert, because between today and tomorrow I have very little prep time for the wedding. So it needs to be close to ready before I leave this morning. The wedding is in Santa Monica. Not exactly a skip and a jump away!
Today we will drive to Pomona, and set the girls free. We will have at least 8 hours there. There is no room for forgetting hairspray, bobby pins, shoes or costumes. Once we get there, it's wait time for the dances. Each dance is roughly 3 minutes each. So we will be there 8 hours so we can celebrate 6 minutes!
Yes we will cheer on our fellow team mates. And we will have fun.
It's the getting there that's rough!
Go MVD....PAC.....you KNOWWWWW!!!!!!!
Happy Saturday
I hate the frustrations that come with this time. Everyone is stressed out making sure they have everything, and if something doesn't go as planned, all hell breaks loose.
THIS is the part of competition I could do without.
However, the sandwiches have been made, the ice is on its way, and I just have to get myself together so we can get out of here.
As I have a wedding to shoot tomorrow, I am on high alert, because between today and tomorrow I have very little prep time for the wedding. So it needs to be close to ready before I leave this morning. The wedding is in Santa Monica. Not exactly a skip and a jump away!
Today we will drive to Pomona, and set the girls free. We will have at least 8 hours there. There is no room for forgetting hairspray, bobby pins, shoes or costumes. Once we get there, it's wait time for the dances. Each dance is roughly 3 minutes each. So we will be there 8 hours so we can celebrate 6 minutes!
Yes we will cheer on our fellow team mates. And we will have fun.
It's the getting there that's rough!
Go MVD....PAC.....you KNOWWWWW!!!!!!!
Happy Saturday
Friday, February 10, 2012
Feeling the pressure
Dance Competition season has officially started. Tomorrow, both girls will be competing, and I can already feel the stress building. Aspen has been under the weather, and I will be concerned that she will be okay for her performance.
Avery's pants ripped during the first showcase and we are wondering if she will be able to get through the season. Geez.....I remember this pressure from last year.
Doing competitive dance is a whole different ballgame than just doing a recital. Recital week is stressful, but if you forget something, it doesn't really affect your team, or the scores.
Competitive dance is all about coming together as a unit. If one person fails; they all fail.
Competition is the quiz to see how well you have done.
Though it's all stressful, I have seen worse in Competitive cheer. I sat for a few hours one time and watched competitive cheer routines, one after another after another. These are tight knit groups. One routine got me choked up, because as I watched, one of the girls really hurt herself......and she kept cheering. At the end of the routine, she was limping off stage (having barely held on), and two of her teammates came and picked her up to carry her off stage. I am teary-eyed right now remembering it.
Being a team is a very important lesson. It's important in life to realize that not everything is about you. Your actions can directly impact others. If all members of the team are giving their best, and one fails to achieve - the whole team takes the hit. I for one, wouldn't want to be the slacker in a group.
The teachers have given their final speeches this week. I sat in on some and I'm really proud. They really hit home with their preparation. The girls should definitely be ready.
So this weekend as we go into our first competition, I will have high hopes for the girls. But it isn't going to be about winning....for me, it's that every single piece of their costume, makeup and accessories actually makes it to competition. The rest is gravy.
Happy Friday
Avery's pants ripped during the first showcase and we are wondering if she will be able to get through the season. Geez.....I remember this pressure from last year.
Doing competitive dance is a whole different ballgame than just doing a recital. Recital week is stressful, but if you forget something, it doesn't really affect your team, or the scores.
Competitive dance is all about coming together as a unit. If one person fails; they all fail.
Competition is the quiz to see how well you have done.
Though it's all stressful, I have seen worse in Competitive cheer. I sat for a few hours one time and watched competitive cheer routines, one after another after another. These are tight knit groups. One routine got me choked up, because as I watched, one of the girls really hurt herself......and she kept cheering. At the end of the routine, she was limping off stage (having barely held on), and two of her teammates came and picked her up to carry her off stage. I am teary-eyed right now remembering it.
Being a team is a very important lesson. It's important in life to realize that not everything is about you. Your actions can directly impact others. If all members of the team are giving their best, and one fails to achieve - the whole team takes the hit. I for one, wouldn't want to be the slacker in a group.
The teachers have given their final speeches this week. I sat in on some and I'm really proud. They really hit home with their preparation. The girls should definitely be ready.
So this weekend as we go into our first competition, I will have high hopes for the girls. But it isn't going to be about winning....for me, it's that every single piece of their costume, makeup and accessories actually makes it to competition. The rest is gravy.
Happy Friday
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Facebook hurting reunions.....????
I was listening to Mark and Brian this morning and they were talking about Reunions. Funny, as we are working on planning our own. They talked about the Do's and Don'ts of reunions. As I was only half listening, I couldn't really list what they said. But what I did hear was something about Facebook.
One of the gals on the radio said that with the invention of Facebook, reunions must be more fun. And the truth was that Facebook is actually HURTING the reunion business.
Two things struck me there; first that it's hurting reunions. And second, that it's hurting the "Reunion BUSINESS".
It struck me when I heard it. Of course it's a business. People get together and money starts -a- flowin'!
You would think it would actually be helping!
HOWEVER........
In the last few days I have gotten messages from people who were a little uncertain whether or not they should attend. They feel so 'known' on facebook, why bother showing up?
So, I ask the question.....why bother showing up???
Can someone offer you in person what they can't offer you on Facebook? Or will we all get there, and be disappointed?
How many of us were besties anyways? And what do we actually have in common with those we want to see? And what do you say after, "Wow, great to see you, it's been so many years...."
I know some people will want to show up and show off how "hot" they are to their old flames (or the people who weren't nice to them). There are people who will not want to go, because they don't look like they "should". And they are people who are just curious and figure, "Why not?"
It's a mixed bag.
Twenty five years is a lot of time. Though most of us will tell you it's the blink of an eye. Reunions to me, are just a time-stamp. It's important to remember where you came from and realize all you have accomplished - good or bad. It takes us back, but it also propels us forward.
My husband never went back to any of his. And to be honest, that kind of freaks me out. He has no connection with his history. I couldn't do that. I'm in contact with as many people as I can be. Because they are my history. They fill the gaps in my mind.
So whether or not Facebook is hurting all this is unclear. In my opinion, if more people felt like I did, Facebook wouldn't be able to touch it.
Can't wait to see how this all unfolds.
Happy Thursday.
One of the gals on the radio said that with the invention of Facebook, reunions must be more fun. And the truth was that Facebook is actually HURTING the reunion business.
Two things struck me there; first that it's hurting reunions. And second, that it's hurting the "Reunion BUSINESS".
It struck me when I heard it. Of course it's a business. People get together and money starts -a- flowin'!
You would think it would actually be helping!
HOWEVER........
In the last few days I have gotten messages from people who were a little uncertain whether or not they should attend. They feel so 'known' on facebook, why bother showing up?
So, I ask the question.....why bother showing up???
Can someone offer you in person what they can't offer you on Facebook? Or will we all get there, and be disappointed?
How many of us were besties anyways? And what do we actually have in common with those we want to see? And what do you say after, "Wow, great to see you, it's been so many years...."
I know some people will want to show up and show off how "hot" they are to their old flames (or the people who weren't nice to them). There are people who will not want to go, because they don't look like they "should". And they are people who are just curious and figure, "Why not?"
It's a mixed bag.
Twenty five years is a lot of time. Though most of us will tell you it's the blink of an eye. Reunions to me, are just a time-stamp. It's important to remember where you came from and realize all you have accomplished - good or bad. It takes us back, but it also propels us forward.
My husband never went back to any of his. And to be honest, that kind of freaks me out. He has no connection with his history. I couldn't do that. I'm in contact with as many people as I can be. Because they are my history. They fill the gaps in my mind.
So whether or not Facebook is hurting all this is unclear. In my opinion, if more people felt like I did, Facebook wouldn't be able to touch it.
Can't wait to see how this all unfolds.
Happy Thursday.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Reunion frenzy
Well, my 25 year High School Reunion is coming up this year....and apparently I am putting it together! Didn't plan it, didn't want to, just simply asked the question on Facebook; "Are we having a 25 yr?" and that was all it took!
Thankfully, I have a team of participators who are making it easier. If I have to plan the whole thing myself, I'm guessing it wouldn't happen.
Many decisions to make, but the funnest part so far is watching the reunion facebook page take off! Pictures are getting posted and stories are being told. I have honestly never seen a thread of over 100 comments, but last I checked, it was 133. Pretty amazing.
One would think by the time we get there we will be old friends and have plenty to say.
........one would think!
Reflecting on our last reunion, I was a planner as well (a small pawn, but part of the group). We had committee meetings, decisions were made; the brunt of the work was done between two people (me NOT being one of them) and we had fun putting it all together.
By the day of the reunion, I expected to circulate. I really did expect to. But in the end, I hung out with all my old friends (who I still see) and stayed in my comfort zone.
Sure I spoke to a few, but my anxiety took me over - as it usually does, and I stayed in a corner most of the night. I loved watching all the interactions, seeing who people married and if it was their first or second marriage. Life changes so fast; just 10 years earlier many of the gals were newly married and pregnant! It was funny to see people I had known as kids swelling with parenthood. It was like a major time warp had happened.
This year will be very casual. As I am "planning" it, and we are working with no budget, we opted for
the open space at a local park for Family Time, followed by a night of adults only at a restaurant.
A whole day with my old classmates. Most of which didn't know who I was, but thanks to the invention of Facebook we are all well known and ready to be "Besties".
And though my intentions are grand; to circulate and hug every one, I'm sure I will find my comfort zone in a few small gatherings and watch the night unfold from yet another corner.
Happy Wednesday
Thankfully, I have a team of participators who are making it easier. If I have to plan the whole thing myself, I'm guessing it wouldn't happen.
Many decisions to make, but the funnest part so far is watching the reunion facebook page take off! Pictures are getting posted and stories are being told. I have honestly never seen a thread of over 100 comments, but last I checked, it was 133. Pretty amazing.
One would think by the time we get there we will be old friends and have plenty to say.
........one would think!
Reflecting on our last reunion, I was a planner as well (a small pawn, but part of the group). We had committee meetings, decisions were made; the brunt of the work was done between two people (me NOT being one of them) and we had fun putting it all together.
By the day of the reunion, I expected to circulate. I really did expect to. But in the end, I hung out with all my old friends (who I still see) and stayed in my comfort zone.
Sure I spoke to a few, but my anxiety took me over - as it usually does, and I stayed in a corner most of the night. I loved watching all the interactions, seeing who people married and if it was their first or second marriage. Life changes so fast; just 10 years earlier many of the gals were newly married and pregnant! It was funny to see people I had known as kids swelling with parenthood. It was like a major time warp had happened.
This year will be very casual. As I am "planning" it, and we are working with no budget, we opted for
the open space at a local park for Family Time, followed by a night of adults only at a restaurant.
A whole day with my old classmates. Most of which didn't know who I was, but thanks to the invention of Facebook we are all well known and ready to be "Besties".
And though my intentions are grand; to circulate and hug every one, I'm sure I will find my comfort zone in a few small gatherings and watch the night unfold from yet another corner.
Happy Wednesday
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Habit vs. just plain stupid
I find myself making decisions lately that are just plain stupid.
My intentions are good...my play out....not so good. It just isn't matching my intentions. So frustrating.
How can you consciously make a decision, and then NOT follow through? It's not like you want to be an idiot....you just do what is habit. Or is it habit?
I keep thinking the driver behind the wheel isn't getting the message necessary to my my 'wishes' happen. And it's so frustrating.
What is the drive behind these old habits that we try to give up? And why are they so stinking' hard to let go??
Frankly it chips away at our belief systems every time we fail. And it creates this pattern of history that we cannot succeed, in fact, it trains us to believe we will fail! So we go in knowing there will be no success in sight.
I know that losing weight isn't about eating less. It is about letting go of old patterns that got me fat. Eating at night, eating large portions, overindulging in baked goods, lack of exercise.... Each one of these was an issue I had to face and do my best to overcome. And each one of these was hard to face and hard to change.
And to think you will be cured of this when you get to goal is a fallacy. It is an every day thing; with old habits trying to creep their way back in.
As I have done this for years now, it gets easier and it gets trickier. But what I have on my side is an arsenal of knowledge, and years of practice. But the old habits still creep in. And it is very frustrating....
Repetition is key. Repeat the stuff that works, and ditch the stuff that doesn't. But don't assume it will be easy. And don't assume the spirit will catch you one day and make it happen. If you want something, you have to work for it. Most actors 'overnight success' took a good many years behind the scenes.
It may not be easy....but it will be worth it.
Happy Tuesday
My intentions are good...my play out....not so good. It just isn't matching my intentions. So frustrating.
How can you consciously make a decision, and then NOT follow through? It's not like you want to be an idiot....you just do what is habit. Or is it habit?
I keep thinking the driver behind the wheel isn't getting the message necessary to my my 'wishes' happen. And it's so frustrating.
What is the drive behind these old habits that we try to give up? And why are they so stinking' hard to let go??
Frankly it chips away at our belief systems every time we fail. And it creates this pattern of history that we cannot succeed, in fact, it trains us to believe we will fail! So we go in knowing there will be no success in sight.
I know that losing weight isn't about eating less. It is about letting go of old patterns that got me fat. Eating at night, eating large portions, overindulging in baked goods, lack of exercise.... Each one of these was an issue I had to face and do my best to overcome. And each one of these was hard to face and hard to change.
And to think you will be cured of this when you get to goal is a fallacy. It is an every day thing; with old habits trying to creep their way back in.
As I have done this for years now, it gets easier and it gets trickier. But what I have on my side is an arsenal of knowledge, and years of practice. But the old habits still creep in. And it is very frustrating....
Repetition is key. Repeat the stuff that works, and ditch the stuff that doesn't. But don't assume it will be easy. And don't assume the spirit will catch you one day and make it happen. If you want something, you have to work for it. Most actors 'overnight success' took a good many years behind the scenes.
It may not be easy....but it will be worth it.
Happy Tuesday
Monday, February 6, 2012
Naptime at the superbowl....
It's amazing how a schedule can catch up with you. Yesterday, we all felt it! The girls with their dance schedules, a showcase, dance pictures and birthday parties......CRASH.....
Yesterday I got up and went to my dance rehearsal and ran some errands on the way home, doing my best to get their before Superbowl Kickoff. I got there in time, but with no energy to spare.
Every superbowl we celebrate Chris' birthday. It falls on or near the same weekend, so we host at our house. This is the first year I had to go upstairs during the superbowl....and take a nap!
Aspen went too. Avery had already taken a 2 hour nap while we were out, so she was doing just fine.
I had tried my best to stay awake, but my eyes were closing. It's an awful feeling, because, being the host, you want to be available to your guests. But I just couldn't swing it.
Aspen, traditionally, is not a napper. She is the energizer bunny. But I could see her dozing off as well. So up we went. She fought me, because she didn't want to lay down, but within minutes, I heard nothing from her. (partly, because I was asleep!)
Thirty minutes later, I was feeling a bit better, but Aspen....don't even bother! Once that girl goes down, good luck getting her up! I let her sleep just a little longer.
When I went downstairs, thankfully, I was hardly missed. The party people can take care of themselves as everything is laid out, and they are all family, so it was all good.
In the end, it turned out to be the most boring superbowl ever. Very low key; none of our teams were playing so the interest just wasn't there (for me anyways!)
But as I looked around, I could tell that others were feeling the same sort of fatigue. Mom was quiet, Julie was quiet, Lonell not saying much either.....why did we get out of bed???
I think there are just days that catch up with you. And it's kind of interesting to look around and see others feeling the exact same way! Interesting...and in this case, comforting.
I hate having to leave a party, but the bottom line is, I'm no good if I'm in a room with a party going on and I'm asleep!
Next year I'll have more energy, I'm sure!!!
Happy Monday
Yesterday I got up and went to my dance rehearsal and ran some errands on the way home, doing my best to get their before Superbowl Kickoff. I got there in time, but with no energy to spare.
Every superbowl we celebrate Chris' birthday. It falls on or near the same weekend, so we host at our house. This is the first year I had to go upstairs during the superbowl....and take a nap!
Aspen went too. Avery had already taken a 2 hour nap while we were out, so she was doing just fine.
I had tried my best to stay awake, but my eyes were closing. It's an awful feeling, because, being the host, you want to be available to your guests. But I just couldn't swing it.
Aspen, traditionally, is not a napper. She is the energizer bunny. But I could see her dozing off as well. So up we went. She fought me, because she didn't want to lay down, but within minutes, I heard nothing from her. (partly, because I was asleep!)
Thirty minutes later, I was feeling a bit better, but Aspen....don't even bother! Once that girl goes down, good luck getting her up! I let her sleep just a little longer.
When I went downstairs, thankfully, I was hardly missed. The party people can take care of themselves as everything is laid out, and they are all family, so it was all good.
In the end, it turned out to be the most boring superbowl ever. Very low key; none of our teams were playing so the interest just wasn't there (for me anyways!)
But as I looked around, I could tell that others were feeling the same sort of fatigue. Mom was quiet, Julie was quiet, Lonell not saying much either.....why did we get out of bed???
I think there are just days that catch up with you. And it's kind of interesting to look around and see others feeling the exact same way! Interesting...and in this case, comforting.
I hate having to leave a party, but the bottom line is, I'm no good if I'm in a room with a party going on and I'm asleep!
Next year I'll have more energy, I'm sure!!!
Happy Monday
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Life as usual
I just love making a steaming hot bowl of oatmeal with blueberries, dates and banana for breakfast......and then cleaning the kitchen before I sit down and enjoy it!
This ever happen to you???
One night I got in a fight with my husband (ya...just ONE night.....) because he asked if I wanted to watch a show with him in our room. I said, "YES! I'll be up in a minute."
Realizing it was late, and we wouldn't be back down, I decided to "close shop" for the night. So I put the dishes in the sink and decided to give them a quick rinse, then put a few things away, turned off the kitchen light, got to the dining room, realized I hadn't signed my daughters permission slip that she would need in the morning, so I did that. Started walking upstairs then realized the clothes needed switched over, so I did that (and hung all the un-dry-ables), turned off all the lights and headed up to watch the show. By the time I got there, it was half over! The stinker didn't wait for me. (Well, he said he DID.....but for how long, buddy???)
It's a common tale for a mom. I know I am not the only one who does it. But the thing that got me, is; if he was there helping me, we would have been done in HALF the time and could have watched the show together AND gone to bed on a good note, instead of me sitting there, with smoke coming out my ears!
CLEARLY some don't know what happens BEHIND the scenes!!!!
I know I have talked about this before, but I don't care. I get frustrated every time I hear, "It's not MINE, so why should I pick it up?" I dare say, some have nearly lost their lives at that statement. It's come really close, I assure you.
I have learned this week that Wife-ing and parenting come with much patience (and yes, I'm sure it goes both ways, so please retract your claws daddies).
This week I started seeing more of my pre-teens attitude grow ever so slightly. The teens are on the horizon, I can smell it. I am analyzing ever second of this growth, so I can take it in stride.
I let the strings out a little, and I accept a little abuse. However, at what point does one correct said abuse? It's so tiny now, it's not worth the words. I'm merely watching to see how the wings start to come out so this child can start to fly on her own. No doubt she'll hit a few trees on her way. We all did. But what will her story be like? I truly can't wait to see. But I won't rush it. For now, I will sit and watch.....and hope for the best.
Until then, I will continue to do the dishes while my oatmeal waits, and I will listen to "It's not mine" and hope they live another day to say it. And no doubt....they will say it.
Happy Sunday
This ever happen to you???
One night I got in a fight with my husband (ya...just ONE night.....) because he asked if I wanted to watch a show with him in our room. I said, "YES! I'll be up in a minute."
Realizing it was late, and we wouldn't be back down, I decided to "close shop" for the night. So I put the dishes in the sink and decided to give them a quick rinse, then put a few things away, turned off the kitchen light, got to the dining room, realized I hadn't signed my daughters permission slip that she would need in the morning, so I did that. Started walking upstairs then realized the clothes needed switched over, so I did that (and hung all the un-dry-ables), turned off all the lights and headed up to watch the show. By the time I got there, it was half over! The stinker didn't wait for me. (Well, he said he DID.....but for how long, buddy???)
It's a common tale for a mom. I know I am not the only one who does it. But the thing that got me, is; if he was there helping me, we would have been done in HALF the time and could have watched the show together AND gone to bed on a good note, instead of me sitting there, with smoke coming out my ears!
CLEARLY some don't know what happens BEHIND the scenes!!!!
I know I have talked about this before, but I don't care. I get frustrated every time I hear, "It's not MINE, so why should I pick it up?" I dare say, some have nearly lost their lives at that statement. It's come really close, I assure you.
I have learned this week that Wife-ing and parenting come with much patience (and yes, I'm sure it goes both ways, so please retract your claws daddies).
This week I started seeing more of my pre-teens attitude grow ever so slightly. The teens are on the horizon, I can smell it. I am analyzing ever second of this growth, so I can take it in stride.
I let the strings out a little, and I accept a little abuse. However, at what point does one correct said abuse? It's so tiny now, it's not worth the words. I'm merely watching to see how the wings start to come out so this child can start to fly on her own. No doubt she'll hit a few trees on her way. We all did. But what will her story be like? I truly can't wait to see. But I won't rush it. For now, I will sit and watch.....and hope for the best.
Until then, I will continue to do the dishes while my oatmeal waits, and I will listen to "It's not mine" and hope they live another day to say it. And no doubt....they will say it.
Happy Sunday
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Pajamas...
I started to wake myself up this morning and remembered what day it is....Saturday. But it was too late; the damage was done. My brain was awake; and trying to sleep after that is futile and you wake up on the wrong side of the REM cycle and your day is blown.....
Who'm I kidding, my every day is blown. I don't sleep well, never have and to assume it's possible at this point is ridiculous!!!
I have friends who sleep great. I want to beat them. It's not fair.
Bouncing out of bed is another futile subject. It's more like a slow roll with a loud grumble. I'd like to say I stretch out and refresh myself, but there's no refreshing no matter how much I stretch.
But I still love sleep. Bedtime, pajamas, pillows and oodles of blankets - the heavy ones - all my favorite things.
I could spend a whole day in my pajamas. Shopping and everything. I don't care. There is something about the demeanor one has while wearing pajamas. It's "safe". You are in your coziest state when you wear pajamas. You can walk around with a stuffed animal while wearing pajamas. Let's face it...it wouldn't work in jeans! You see what I'm saying?
You can snuggle in pajamas. It's almost implied that you will. Because you are comfy cozy and ready for hugs and kisses when you put on your pjs.
It's so weird how clothes are such a state of mind, but they are. Suit=stodgy and serious, Jeans = ready for anything, Dress = going for flattery, Pajamas - lets just say Ahhhhh.........
If I had my choice today, I would call it PJ day and just relax and cuddle and snuggle. But the schedule of events wouldn't get done and we'd all be in a bit of trouble.
But as the events don't start til later, we will forgoe getting dressed for as long as possible. I need some snuggle time with my little munchkins before we head off for the day. That way when we are running around and getting stressed with each other (because it's picture day for dance), we can reflect back on our snuggly morning are know that we really do love each other.
And when the day is done, we will crawl back into our pajamas and hunker down once more. Hell, I may bring the PJ's to the studio and get an early start for the ride home.
Happy Saturday!
Who'm I kidding, my every day is blown. I don't sleep well, never have and to assume it's possible at this point is ridiculous!!!
I have friends who sleep great. I want to beat them. It's not fair.
Bouncing out of bed is another futile subject. It's more like a slow roll with a loud grumble. I'd like to say I stretch out and refresh myself, but there's no refreshing no matter how much I stretch.
But I still love sleep. Bedtime, pajamas, pillows and oodles of blankets - the heavy ones - all my favorite things.
I could spend a whole day in my pajamas. Shopping and everything. I don't care. There is something about the demeanor one has while wearing pajamas. It's "safe". You are in your coziest state when you wear pajamas. You can walk around with a stuffed animal while wearing pajamas. Let's face it...it wouldn't work in jeans! You see what I'm saying?
You can snuggle in pajamas. It's almost implied that you will. Because you are comfy cozy and ready for hugs and kisses when you put on your pjs.
It's so weird how clothes are such a state of mind, but they are. Suit=stodgy and serious, Jeans = ready for anything, Dress = going for flattery, Pajamas - lets just say Ahhhhh.........
If I had my choice today, I would call it PJ day and just relax and cuddle and snuggle. But the schedule of events wouldn't get done and we'd all be in a bit of trouble.
But as the events don't start til later, we will forgoe getting dressed for as long as possible. I need some snuggle time with my little munchkins before we head off for the day. That way when we are running around and getting stressed with each other (because it's picture day for dance), we can reflect back on our snuggly morning are know that we really do love each other.
And when the day is done, we will crawl back into our pajamas and hunker down once more. Hell, I may bring the PJ's to the studio and get an early start for the ride home.
Happy Saturday!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Say what???
Yesterday I was reading facebook, and I read a post about a little girl just diagnosed with cancer. Her prognosis was unknown at the time I read it.
At work, one of my members reported she had been absent due to a hystorectomy from the discovery of stage 2 cancer. She will be undergoing chemo.
Yesterday when I got home, I got a message from a friend that a 26 year old wife and mother of two (my friends niece) died suddenly Monday night from flu-like symptoms.....
You think YOU got problems???
I don't even know where to go with all this information. My heart is so heavy it's hard to breathe. There is so much sadness and need in the world, it's important to take stock in what you have and put everything else into perspective.
It's like when my husband was out of a job for many many months.....I would hear people complaining about their jobs and I wanted to punch them!!! They would usually follow it up with "I know, at least I have a job".....but it was too late. I was already punching them in my mind......
My heart is so heavy for the families going through this. A child with cancer is completely senseless!
And at the time of this blog, there is no answer yet as to why the mother died. But my mind needs answers.
Life is random at best. It's ebb and flow and you just have to go with it.
Yesterday I blogged about control.....today solidifies it. We truly have no control.
This is a time of faith. Pray hard and hug those around you. Keep it all in perspective.
Today is truly all we have. Make the most of it.
Happy Friday
At work, one of my members reported she had been absent due to a hystorectomy from the discovery of stage 2 cancer. She will be undergoing chemo.
Yesterday when I got home, I got a message from a friend that a 26 year old wife and mother of two (my friends niece) died suddenly Monday night from flu-like symptoms.....
You think YOU got problems???
I don't even know where to go with all this information. My heart is so heavy it's hard to breathe. There is so much sadness and need in the world, it's important to take stock in what you have and put everything else into perspective.
It's like when my husband was out of a job for many many months.....I would hear people complaining about their jobs and I wanted to punch them!!! They would usually follow it up with "I know, at least I have a job".....but it was too late. I was already punching them in my mind......
My heart is so heavy for the families going through this. A child with cancer is completely senseless!
And at the time of this blog, there is no answer yet as to why the mother died. But my mind needs answers.
Life is random at best. It's ebb and flow and you just have to go with it.
Yesterday I blogged about control.....today solidifies it. We truly have no control.
This is a time of faith. Pray hard and hug those around you. Keep it all in perspective.
Today is truly all we have. Make the most of it.
Happy Friday
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Control
Twelve years ago today I lost my dad.
It's amazing how fast time passes and it's amazing that it feels like yesterday.
So much has happened in the years he passed. He had 6 additional granchildren he never got to meet; two of them mine.....
I know we aren't supposed to live forever, but wouldn't it be nice if we could have a little planning here??? I mean, this "no control" stuff really sucks.
But what if we did have control? Complete control? What would you do with it? How long would you live and how would you plan your life?
You would have to make sure that "your plans" were in alliance with everyone else's, because if we all had complete control, we'd still have to consult!
Clearly, countries don't know what to do with their control, which is why we have wars! Communications are completely broken down and the only way to gain control is to kill a million innocent people.
And people who have control of their lives don't always manage them well. Some people down right blow it!
The truth is we have to surrender to the fact that we have no control. But how you do that is entirely up to you!
This, in my opinion, is where faith comes in.
If I had my say, my dad would be here now. He would be traveling with my mom and they would be enjoying their retirement.
But I don't have say. I have faith.
The day my dad died, I was sad. I was by his side with my sister and my mom. I will never forget that powerful feeling. He was sick and he needed to leave us and we knew it. We didn't like it but we knew it.
I felt from that day on, that my dad was with me. In that I know I am blessed, because some people feel nothing but a void. And I have many voids in my life. But in this case, I have never felt alone.
I know he is with me and I know he sees my girls. I know he laughs when Avery gives it to me, because that was me! I know he is proud of the dancing ballerina Aspen is becoming, because he never had that with any of us.
I have to know this in my heart. Because if I believed our relationship ended at his death....I too, would have died.
Happy Thursday
It's amazing how fast time passes and it's amazing that it feels like yesterday.
So much has happened in the years he passed. He had 6 additional granchildren he never got to meet; two of them mine.....
I know we aren't supposed to live forever, but wouldn't it be nice if we could have a little planning here??? I mean, this "no control" stuff really sucks.
But what if we did have control? Complete control? What would you do with it? How long would you live and how would you plan your life?
You would have to make sure that "your plans" were in alliance with everyone else's, because if we all had complete control, we'd still have to consult!
Clearly, countries don't know what to do with their control, which is why we have wars! Communications are completely broken down and the only way to gain control is to kill a million innocent people.
And people who have control of their lives don't always manage them well. Some people down right blow it!
The truth is we have to surrender to the fact that we have no control. But how you do that is entirely up to you!
This, in my opinion, is where faith comes in.
If I had my say, my dad would be here now. He would be traveling with my mom and they would be enjoying their retirement.
But I don't have say. I have faith.
The day my dad died, I was sad. I was by his side with my sister and my mom. I will never forget that powerful feeling. He was sick and he needed to leave us and we knew it. We didn't like it but we knew it.
I felt from that day on, that my dad was with me. In that I know I am blessed, because some people feel nothing but a void. And I have many voids in my life. But in this case, I have never felt alone.
I know he is with me and I know he sees my girls. I know he laughs when Avery gives it to me, because that was me! I know he is proud of the dancing ballerina Aspen is becoming, because he never had that with any of us.
I have to know this in my heart. Because if I believed our relationship ended at his death....I too, would have died.
Happy Thursday
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Checkin' in....
So many days I want to start my blog with "I got nuthin". Because many times when I sit down, I really "got nuthin".
In actuality, I always "got sumthin'", but they are usually random thoughts in my head, or my "To Do" list for the day, which seems to be getting longer.
Right now, I'm thinking how I will get all my stuff done by 1:05 when I pick up my kid. 3 hours are already gone. It would take nothing to wipe 2 of those off, but that is "my" time and as I only get it once or twice a week, I'm going to take it.
I have heard a lot of struggles this week from people, and my heart can't help but feel heavy. The last few days I have been in a "muck" and can't seem to get myself out of it. It isn't only for them, my friends; but for myself as well.
When sadness happens to another, it is a reminder that I am not immune. It reminds me to be humble and greatful. It reminds me to be aware.
We are not without our own trials in life. They come and go. There are times I wonder how I got so lucky and other times I wonder who, in the cosmic world, did I piss off!! ('scuse my french, but that is my actual thought).
Lately I have been feeling blessed. Reminded that though we aren't where we want to be (and haven't been for years), the elements in our life are in order.
A roof, a family, supporting friends, food on the table, jobs (thank you GOD for that one).
Maybe we can't have everything we want all at one time. That would be too much. But we have just enough to keep us happy and content.
Aspirations are great. And frustrations help us grow. But it's always good to give yourself a good mental check to make sure your foundation is in order. If it starts to crack, be on top of it. Don't let it crumble.
Today, I'm pretty happy with my foundation. So though my heart is heavy, I will take this day and be thankful for what I do have. I'm going downstairs to kiss one of them right now!
Happy Wednesday!
In actuality, I always "got sumthin'", but they are usually random thoughts in my head, or my "To Do" list for the day, which seems to be getting longer.
Right now, I'm thinking how I will get all my stuff done by 1:05 when I pick up my kid. 3 hours are already gone. It would take nothing to wipe 2 of those off, but that is "my" time and as I only get it once or twice a week, I'm going to take it.
I have heard a lot of struggles this week from people, and my heart can't help but feel heavy. The last few days I have been in a "muck" and can't seem to get myself out of it. It isn't only for them, my friends; but for myself as well.
When sadness happens to another, it is a reminder that I am not immune. It reminds me to be humble and greatful. It reminds me to be aware.
We are not without our own trials in life. They come and go. There are times I wonder how I got so lucky and other times I wonder who, in the cosmic world, did I piss off!! ('scuse my french, but that is my actual thought).
Lately I have been feeling blessed. Reminded that though we aren't where we want to be (and haven't been for years), the elements in our life are in order.
A roof, a family, supporting friends, food on the table, jobs (thank you GOD for that one).
Maybe we can't have everything we want all at one time. That would be too much. But we have just enough to keep us happy and content.
Aspirations are great. And frustrations help us grow. But it's always good to give yourself a good mental check to make sure your foundation is in order. If it starts to crack, be on top of it. Don't let it crumble.
Today, I'm pretty happy with my foundation. So though my heart is heavy, I will take this day and be thankful for what I do have. I'm going downstairs to kiss one of them right now!
Happy Wednesday!
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