Lulling through life.

Compromising.......  I feel like I do it all the time.

Compromising with kids, friends, spouse....always compromising something. 

But there is nothing worse than when I compromise my values.

I have a really hard time putting things in proper perpestictive sometimes.  I'm so emotional, I tend to shoot from the hip.   More often than not, it's those around me who pull me back to my senses.  And I need a LOT of pulling!!!

An ex-boyfriend of mine told me I "lull" through life.  I didn't totally know what that meant, but I have a good sense of it now.  After doing it for more than 40 years, you are bound to catch on, right???

I have no real direction, nothing totally grounding me, I just do what I feel and follow the tide.

I have always said I'm more of a follower than a leader.  I don't always know what to do, but I'm good at doing what I'm told (sans hubby).  :)

It gets frustrating, I will admit.  But I feel, at this point it is in my DNA.  Not that I can't change, but it's just something not terribly high on my list.

At this point maybe it's a quirk about me, who knows.

I do know I get frustrated by it.  This isn't the first blog dedicated to my "lulling" lifestyle.
And, I'm not totally at peace with it.  But I sometimes wonder if that inner conflict is the real problem.

I tell my members all the time that they need to apply this weight loss as a journey.  But more importantly realize it's THEIR journey.  No two outcomes will be exactly the same, despite identical efforts.  It's really hard to make people take a look at themselves.

I feel, sometimes like my meetings with my members are more like therapy sessions.  God knows I needed a LOT of therapy when I was a member.  I still do.  And to be honest, I'm still learning.  I don't expect that will ever stop.

But if you deny who you are and your efforts, when will you ever be at peace???

I'll be looking more closely at my lull this week and see if it needs tweaking or leaving alone.  But I have to look at it once in a while to check in with myself, as I too have the tendency to check out.

I'm not gonna condemn my lull....cuz at this point, it's all I got.

Happy Wednesday