wants and needs

I think I'm walking straighter today!  But let me tell you, once you tell someone your ailment, if they know someone who has suffered like you, you will hear about it!  And you know what I learned???  I am NOT alone!!!
Vertigo is NOT uncommon and the bottom line is there is NO CURE!!  It's something that can flare up with no provocation (that I'm aware of anyway) and who knows how long it can last.

I had so much support yesterday, and I really want to thank everyone who gave me a shoulder to walk on to keep me straight.  The recital went well.

As I have already shot the cast's I am just getting filler shots, so that is a good thing.  I didn't have to stress as much as earlier this week.

I laughed at one point yesterday, because I was sitting next to someone who had to work an 8 hour day after only getting a few hours of sleep because he was celebrating a friends birthday.  As I was sitting there, spinning every which way, I looked at him and couldn't help but laugh.  It truly is ALL RELATIVE!!!

We were both suffering for different reasons.  His was self-imposed and mine was out of my control. 

I swear; the irony of life gets me every time.

I looked at him and I told him, I would REALLY like to feel sorry for you right now, but I just don't have it in me because I'm struggling to stay upright! 

It was actually comical.    And it made me think of all the stupid times I've made choices that impacted me physically, and wore my body down because I didn't take the time "in the moment" to realize how I would suffer later!

I was telling Julie last night how every time I get this Vertigo, I feel I will never be normal again. 

Ever feel that way? 

I remember when my dad was really sick with cancer.  He said something that hit me like a ton of bricks...."I just want to go out and drive my car."  Of course at this time I think he knew he would never drive it again. 

It made me realize how we tend to take things for granted because we are so "in our own moment" that we don't realize that we have so many little things to be thankful for.

Every time my vertigo clears, I go back to blowing off workouts, because "I'll do it tomorrow".  Yesterday I would have walked 100 miles if someone lifted the dizzy out of my brain! 

Crazy huh?  We are a strange bunch of creatures.

What other animal do you know that goes and runs it's head into a tree because running fast is fun???
Sure, running is fun....but you forget to think about the trees in your path....

Anyway, yes I'm going off on a tangent(see blog title), but I'm probably yelling at myself more than anyone else.

I'm thankful I'm feeling at least a bit improved today.  But as my lovely chiropractor told me yesterday, strengthen yourself and you will feel much better!! 

So that is my goal. 

I won't take my health for granted.  I will work towards becoming stronger.  Because I can!

I will tap back into these moments of debilitation and remind myself, I have a choice.

I don't know why we blow off what we "need" for what we "want".  Especially when what we "want" has a consequence. 

I'll be thinking about that a heck of a lot more in the future.  And I will appreciate every day I can stand up straight and walk a staight line!

Happy Sunday