Choose # 1

As I write, I am in a weight watchers meeting waiting for it to start. I have been stuck for a few months where I am at. No big surprise as I can. Arely breathe with my life, but I keep wondering; WHY is putting myself first such a struggle. And what does putting myself first, exactly mean???

I feel like I am always first because I am always 'doing'. And I don't really have time to think about 'me' specifically. But the truth is, more often than not, I am in service to someone else. And though my family benefits from my service...what do I get from my efforts other than stretched thin.

This summer I had a major AHA moment when I had an episode of vertigo. I had no control of my body for a couple of days and had to rely on the kindness of others to help me walk straight.

You are. Ever so humbled until you need someone's help. It is extremely uncomfortable, yet really comforting.

But still it is a place you never want to be.

When this happened to me, it came on right after a stressful incident. And when I put the pieces together, I realized I had let myself go. Funny thing was- it was apparent to everyone around me BUT me!!!

So when I looked at my life, I realized the events that led up to my illness was directly related to putting myself last on the list.

Big surprise!!!

As a Weight Watchers leader I preach to my members to put themselves first. And they nod and shake and say yes ma'am!!! But like me, many have no idea what that means exactly.

I mean... We know... We just don't 'knooowwww'.

Jack canfield is an excellent speaker. He said something once that resounded with me; Do five things a day that go towards your goal".

Now if your goal is to make yourself first... Where does that start??
For me it is my health. Which means exercise and eat right. I hate exercise so how do I convince myself to do it?

I used to run 5 miles 3 days a week. But since putting everyone else first I am lucky if I get in 1. The one thing I can say though is; I remember how it felt to be done with the workouts. I remember how good it felt to look in the mirror and like what I saw. I remember how much easier it was to handle stress. And I now know that putting myself last has made a negative impact on me and those around me.... So I think the first thing that needs to happen is a goal. I need to know how I want to feel. And as I have that history, I can tap in to how I felt. The trick will be making the schedule fit the goal. And that is where most get lost. When I was at my most focused: my every choice was based on my goal. So if my goal is clear as crystal, it should be easy to do five things a day based on my goal. Sometimes we have to go based on faith until we get there. But if we know what we want, the choice should should be easier. My whole goal is to become what I used to be. And thankfully as I have that history, I can feel where I am going. It is up to me to make that choice daily. No one said it would be easy. But the benefits definitely outweigh the risks!!! Happy Sunday