I must be having a brain cramp. I thought it was 8:15 and it's only 7:15. I have a whole hour extra today! WOW....
I'm hoping today goes better than the last week or so. I have been pretty high strung and feeling like I'm in the middle of a bunch of stuff I don't want to be in the middle of.
Like anything I say to anyone will be taken wrong and be elevated to the next level.
I also think my filters are off. I'm hearing and interpreting things 'probably' not as they are said? I don't know. I just know that the closet sounds like a nice place to camp out for a while.
Ever feel that way?
I have said it before; I'm a slow processor. My brain has to evaluate every angle of something so it can move forward. "Proceed with Caution" as it were!!!
I used to think something was wrong with me until I met a fascinating man. He said, "My wife and I are totally different. She mulls things over, while I know right away. So what I do, is I write her a note in the morning about what I want to discuss, and we talk about it when we get home from work."
WOW....Seriously???
Yes, indeed. A man who recognizes the communicative differences in other human beings......
I had never really thought about it until then. And I don't think I realized that I was exactly like his wife, until I met my husband.
I have said it before; I am surrounded by people with quick brains. I'm not sure if that is by design, or that there are so few of "me" out there, that I'm screwed!
Catch me in an argument, and I'm dead in the water. I got into an argument with my roomie from PS and I only now am able to put together the pieces. We are talking slllloooowwwww!!!
My hubby gets mad because I tend to shut down when we are "discussing" things. Many times I will write him after the conversation breaks down. Interestingly enough, I can write my feelings WAY better than I can speak them. Does that make ANY SENSE whatsoever???
But when I'm writing, I'm not thinking of someone else's shortcomings; I'm thinking more from a situational standpoint. As there is no face in front of me, I can be a bit more objective. And therefore my communication is way more focused.
Now, I'm not saying I can't throw down, because there are times my articulate-ness comes flying through. If you get me in a situation where I'm passionate about something, then YOU are dead in the water.
I think my issue comes more from a not wanting to blame place. I hate the word BLAME.....
I was recently told by someone, "I'm not taking the blame for this". And I found it intriguing.
To Blame is to basically say, "This WHOLE situation is YOUR FAULT!!!"
And if that is the case, then fine. But more often than not, I find that the issue is lack of communication and understanding, personality differences, or plain old indifference.
More often than not; when I argue with something, communication has failed. Plain and simple.
Sadly we aren't taught to communicate. If you came from my family, I had to teach myself to do it. My family said nothing!!!
Thankfully, I attached myself to a lot of people who had a lot to say. So I learned the art of communication pretty well. It doesn't mean I use it all the time. But I certainly know how to!!!
In the last few months of being overwhelmed with my life, I have communicated less to my kids. I "tell" them things, but don't communicate a lot.
Yesterday, I told Avery something and she got really mad at me. She then proceeded to go to her room, lay on the floor and open and close the door with her foot. As the door squeaks and I'm trying to work this sound was annoying me. So I walked out of my office and looked at her (clearly P-d off on the floor) and I said, "That's really annoying...is that NECESSARY?" With her pouty face, she looked at me and said in a very pouty voice, "Yes...." For a nano second I was gonna get mad at her. But the look on her face - the disappointment and lack of understanding - made me drop my head a bit and smile at her. I couldn't deny it. She was trying to tell me something.
So I went over and sat on the floor next to her and told her exactly why I needed her to do what she was told. I explained it in simple terms and asked her questions to think about what I was saying.
After a few minutes I could see she got it. And her demeanor changed. I swear that kid gets me every time. She is just like me in she can't hide her feelings. And she also has a hard time processing her anger. I have to work with her quite a bit because I know EXACTLY how she feels!!!
More often than not the only thing that calms her down is communication. When I can identify how she is feeling 'for her' it makes her feel much better.
Wow....I just went in a few different directions, didn't I. There goes that extra hour I was talking about!!!
Just remember an ounce of frustration can be handled with an ounce of communication and a dash of understanding. Easier said than done most times, but practice makes perfect!!
Happy Friday!!
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