Blog blog blog

I often question myself about this blog.  What's the point?  Where am I going with it? Why bother?

Who cares?

I get up every morning and I ponder what I will write about.  Sometimes it's current events, sometimes mindless garble.  There is never any true direction with it.  If anyone is still reading it, I'm impressed....and intrigued.

Sometimes I have absolute conviction; I'm doing it so others will see the "me too" and feel better about themselves. Better, because many times what I write is a ridiculous quip about laughing at my kids at the inappropriate times, or yelling at them and feeling bad about it.

There are lots of "Me too's" when it comes to parenting! 

As I write, I sort of clock out.  I don't think too much about it, I just write whatever pops into my head (which is why it's so random).  But I don't really stop to think about the consequences, until they come up!

I was having a conversation not too long ago with one of my daughters friends.  She mentioned that she reads my blog.  (I have had other kids say they read my blog as well).  I asked her why she would read it (being that I'm a "boring old parent").  She said it was interesting.

I instantly ran through my mind thinking about things that I write.  And though most of it is benign; my fear is negatively influencing anyone. 

But I know that when I write, my goal is to be very non-specific so that readers can reach their own conclusions as much as possible.  I do my best not to be judgemental (though I can't deny I have opinions) and I try not to rant.  Though I could neither confirm nor deny that I have! ;)

The other consequence of my blog is that when I talk to people, and I relate a story; often times I get, "Oh ya...I read that on your blog!"  And then I pout!  Because now, I have nothing to talk about.  And the backside of that is, though they have heard about ME.....I have heard NOTHING about them!

Occupational hazard....

But the bottom line is, I kind of don't care who reads my blog.   Though I want to share with the world that we all have 'not proud' moments, and that many of us share the same feelings in life; the truth is, I write this for me every day.  EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

And sometimes it is a bother, because when I sit down, I literally 'got nuthin'. 

But what has happened since starting my blog just over a year ago is that my writing has influenced and brought to life much of my thinking.  I'm going to contemplate and overanalyze everything anyway.  To write about it helps me sift it out sometimes.  And there are a lot of times I need a lot of sifting!!!

To publish it is one extra step.  The bottom line is, I'm not afraid to share.  I really have nothing to hide.  Sometimes that backfires, but it's not going to change who I am or what happened.  If someone finds comfort in commiserating with that, then it's a job well done!!!

Happy Saturday!