Costs....and transitions....

You ever have days your just not sure you will get through?  I swear, everything I did was frought with an ounce of drama or frustration.

I did pretty well when I got up.  Believe it or not, I feel like I'm still recovering from the last weekend.  Though I'm way more alert, for some reason my body was just not having it.  I started the day by skipping my morning workout.  I do believe  that was a big mistake!

Funny thing about working out.  Hardly a person will jump out of bed thinking "I can't wait!".  More often than not you are literally dragging yourself there (usually talking yourself OUT of it along the way).  Once you get there, you are resigned; while you are doing it, you are wondering why you didn't stay in bed....and when you are done, you are glad you came!!!!

As I knew how I would feel when I was done, I still couldn't bring myself to do it.  The energy wasn't even there to get in the car.

However, if I had gone, I bet I would have found the energy to at least work at 50% and get some benefit out of it!  Shame on me!!!  I rationalized that I would do something later; but as my minutes were scheduled for the day, it wasn't likely.

So, I got to work.

Work has been going okay, but it's going to get crazy in the next month!  June is known as the "see you in July" month!  If I'm not working, I'm sleeping. 

As my day went on, I got more things thrown on my plate.  I'm used to that.  What I'm not used to is people who don't get how I work.  And what I believe it comes down to is lack of education on my part!

I find myself constantly telling people on the back side what should be done.  Whereas if I spent the time on the front end, it would save me so much time and frustration.  I have been doing this for years!!!

I also realized yesterday (again) how much time I spend doing stuff for people for free.  And yesterday the cost of my "Free" really hit me in  the face.  (please don't send me advice)

If you are a people pleaser like me, you want to help people out.  You literally find ways to make it happen.  This in itself is not a problem.

What the problem is, is when it starts bleeding into other parts of your life.  Like work....and family!

When your family starts paying the price for you helping another, then something needs to be looked at.

Many times I have sat, working at my desk, yelling at my children to leave me be so I can finish my "work".  When in fact, my "work" is hours of my life that is spent while someone else gets to enjoy 'my' free time.    Can someone please compute the cost of that for me????

As a photographer, I take pictures.  Some people look at me like I'm a gal with a camera.  And sometimes I act like it.  Sometimes I take pictures for pleasure and sometimes I take pictures for work.  What I tend to have a problem with is if I just "snap a shot" at a party.... does that mean the picture is free?  Should I just pass it along?

In the past, I said, "sure".  But what I have found time and again, is I don't just pass it along.  I take it home and edit it, sharpen, contrast, color correct,  burn to CD....and then "pass it along".  For every picture I take it is at least 5 minutes of my time. 

I went to take a quick snapshot of a friend, because I was "gonna be there anyway".  It didn't seem like a big deal at the time.  But what happened was, initially, I wasn't gonna have my camera while I was there, so my dynamic now changed.  And as I had my camera, I didn't want to run that errand I was gonna do after I took the picture, so I changed my afternoon and went back home.  So I missed my errand and would have to start all over with it, which was about an hour now, instead of the few extra minutes it would have taken if I had just hit it on the way home.

Because I went home, I went straight to my computer, and I edited every last of the 20 or so images I took.  And then I gave them away....... 

Yes...totally my fault.  I hold no resentment, because this was my choice.  But what I realized is I have a tendency to do this a lot!!  And for this week alone, I have given away about 5 hours of my life to someone else so they can rest easy.

As a business owner you have to make terribly hard decisions.  I had to communicate something yesterday that nearly had me in tears.   And it was simply that I would have to charge for my time if someone wanted photographic services from me.

But the realization I came to is, this is my business.  And every time I sit at my computer there is a cost to my family because I am not with them.  I need to remember this when I'm offering myself out there.

But because I am a people pleaser and I live to see people happy, it makes it really hard!!

I'm still finding my balance.  I feel so blessed to do what I do, that I wouldn't change that.  I just have to work on my boundaries and education process.  I guess I'm still making the transition myself in my mind. 

Thankfully, I'm surrounded by much support and forgiveness....  I'll get there, eventually.

Happy Thursday!