Communication (and emotional vomit)

I had a conversation with  my brother last night.  We got into a "he said/she said" type argument.

At Thanksgiving, we had a falling out and hadn't really talked much since then.  Last night we ironed out the details and we're good again.

It did get ugly for a while there.  As we were arguing back and forth about the nights events that brought us to this moment, it was clear that a little more communication would have been nice.

Communication is so overlooked and lack of it causes so many problems.

More often than not we "ASSUME" and more often than not, that is what gets us into trouble.

We are in our heads 24/7.  There is nowhere else for us to go.  Wherever we go, there we are!  So if you aren't happy, you are likely living in a hellish place.

I have gone through bouts of depression.  It was dark, lonely, and hopeless.  Some people live there more often than others. 

One thing I don't feel as much as I did when I was a kid is that humongous bursting feeling of elation.  But on the flip side, I don't feel that empty desolate place of despair either.

I'm more often in the middle.  I miss the high highs, but maybe that comes with adulthood.  Rarely do you see a 70 year old person bouncing up and down saying "Yippy!!!", so I'm guessing mellowness comes with age.

However, so does appreciation.  I have learned to appreciate every day I have with my family and friends.

As I was eating dinner with my BFF last night, I was telling her how blessed I am to make a call and have someone pop over for dinner!  (I was making enchilada's - enough to share with BFF and favorite neighbor). 

And if I have a problem, I have a handful of friends and I can call and commiserate.

I am truly thankful every day for something!  And I try to focus on that.  Because if I looked at the reality of my life and the mounds of debt and the dog wearing the cone of shame and stares at me sadly...if I spent my days focusing on that, I could bring myself down in an instant.

But I refuse!

My point about communication (you know, the thing I started this blog with) is that I have found it the key to all my relationships.  It is a scary thing, but the more you communicate your feelings, the more people can understand you and connect with you. 

Connection with people for me means comfort, understanding and compassion. 

You may think you know what someone is feeling, but unless you ask, you really don't.

As I talked to my brother last night, I understood more, where he is coming from.  And as I had lived a portion of my life like him, I could connect with what he was saying. 

I'm glad he called me last night, because it wasn't on my radar.  With my life, my jobs and my kids, it's hard to focus on anything, let alone recount what happened many months ago.

But what we have now is closure to this event.  Hard feelings put to rest.  And all thanks to a little communication. 

Give it a try some time.  You may become addicted.

Happy Wednesday!