Self Sabotage

Ever have a fight and lose?   And you are the one you are fighting with?

I swear, sometimes, I live in my head so much, if people knew the inner dialog I would lose friends.
There are days I am in total control, and other days I just want to self destruct and it's everything I have to not implode.

My mind needs a break!!

I meet so many people every week, and I do believe that is one thing I have in common with many of them.

Self Sabotage!

How?

Why?

I have been super close to success at times, sometimes even surpassing it; only to turn around and run back in the direction I just came from!  It's insane!  And I have no idea why?

I have read that it stems from our limiting beliefs!  (WHAT???  Us, LIMIT ourselves?)  Yes, it,s true.
Many times we cannot imagine ourselves in success or allow ourselves to believe we actually deserve it.  For others it is a fear of "What Now?"

My mom and I always have this conversation.  It is something that comes up time and again, because it fits in so many instances.  It's the morning of Christmas, the anticipation is at its peak; you have been staring at the presents under the tree for a while now, or you are just so excited to see what Santa brought you that you are brimming with excitement.
Ever feel that way?

Then....the rip-fest begins.  Wrappers fall to the floor in a job well done.  The presents are exposed one after the other.  You can't move fast enough to get through them all!

And as you look around.....you have opened every last one.  Maybe you're happy with your gifts; maybe you aren't.  But the feeling starts bubbling up as you ask yourself.....

Is that all there is???????

Sometimes success equals that feeling.  You get to your goal, and then what?  Some people never let themselves get to their "then what", because they don't have an answer. 

As for me; I don't have an answer as to why I'm struggling with myself lately.  My conscious mind knows the right choices to make.  And so I go the other way.

Usually when this happens, it doesn't affect anyone but me.  But sometimes, others are affected, and that is when we need to take a serious look at what is going on.

But right now; my brain is tired from all the arguments.  I need a mental break.  And then I can come back and revisit the turmoil in my head. 

But not today.....

Happy Friday!