Today celebrates the eleventh birthday of my eldest daughter. I couldn't be more proud to be her mother! How I got picked for this kid is beyond me. (I know how I got picked for the other).
Kids are amazing.
I was talking this weekend with friends and one of the moms was talking about a girl who wanted to get pregnant - and she was really young. I got very scared for that girl and hoped she would come to her senses. I remember feeling that way when I was a kid (not that I wanted to get pregnant, but I wanted a baby to love me unconditionally). What a fool I was.
Having kids is not for sissies. It takes over your whole life and most of your pocketbook! If you are done being selfish in life, then you are ready to have a kid. If you are done with all the money you earn, then have a kid. If you are done feeling like you are smart, have a kid! If you are done having a clean house, definitely have a kid! If you are done with your fun relationship with your significant other and need to be challenged in new ways, having a kid is for you!!!!
Kids take over every aspect of your life.
When I had Aspen, I remember crying to Chris at 1am, "I didn't sign up for THIS!" She was disrupting my sleep. That was NOT okay! And I won't even going into pooping up the front of herself. I'm still not sure how that was physically possible, but she was there to show me it WAS!!!! (ughhhhh)
However.....the upside to having a kid.....
I remember being out somewhere with Aspen (when she was under 1 year), and I was getting stressed, because it was taking a long time and I had planned to be back home at that time "for her". I was even getting a bit frazzled. Then I looked down at Aspen (who was in a sling, attached to me), and as I saw her face, she was completely content. And I said to her, "you aren't worried, because you are exactly where you want to be right now". With me! I instantly calmed and realized that much of my stress was self-imposed.
It was the beginning of many lessons my kids would teach me.
Each of my children has a special gift. Aspen has a penchant for knowing when people are stressed and she is ready for a hug. Avery has the ability to attract and care for small children as well as make people laugh.
I have learned that you can't trust what you see with kids. Sometimes you have to look a little deeper. Aspen showed me that because she wasn't crying in front of me, doesn't mean she wasn't deeply affected by whatever happened to her. Avery has taught me that patience can pay off.....and sometimes you need more patience than others!!!
The other day we were at the store, and this elderly lady asked where the cocoa was. I sent my kids scrambling to find it for her. They were younger and willing to expend their energy. The woman was grateful. After she found her cocoa, we all stood in the aisle at the store chatting. She told me how her husband had passed and how she'd had cancer and how the neuropathy was affecting her fingers and legs. She talked about how her daughter came to visit her and about the grand kids and life after her husband. I watched my kids listen intently, respectfully, and even interject their stories. This woman was delighted by their presence. I was a very proud mother, indeed. She literally gave me directions to her house and invited us over any time.
As a parent, you get to have some pretty amazing moments. They aren't all good. And if I told you they were, and you are a parent, you would see through the smoke and mirrors.
But sometimes, when you see a glimpse of who your children are, it's a great feeling and a sense of accomplishment. This is what I am putting forth in the world. When I go, they will be here to carry on for who we were as a family. They will represent. So far, I like what I am seeing. But as life dictates, I'm not going to do the happy dance just yet.
But for today....I will do a little hop!
Happy Birthday Aspen!
Love Mommy
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