True to you

How true are you to yourself?

Thinking about the movie, "The Help", it brings to question the "airs" we put on in front of others.

We all do it at one time or another.  I have a friend who is invited over whenever she wants.  But her husband has to make an appointment.   If he had any idea what our house usually looks like, we might not be friends. 

I always appreciate people who take me at face value.  However, I really don't know any other way to be. 

Have you ever lied to someone and spent so much time and effort covering up that lie that you didn't know where the truth ended and the lie began?  Did you ever forget which lie you told to whom?

I know we all do it at some point in our lives.  But the question is why?  Insecurity?  Fear? 

Probably.

But, why?

It would take a really important person to stir my wad enough to make me want to lie or be someone else. 

I know growing up, I always wanted to be the twiggy girl....but there was no way to lie out of that one.  I was who I was.  But I always looked at the twiggies of the world and envied them a bit.  In my mind, they had it all!  I used to fool myself with "If I lose weight ALL my problems will be gone!"...........REALLY????

But then I started watching....and listening....and realizing that not only were 'twiggies' lives not perfect....but the scramble to keep up appearances was exhausting!  And nothing I was willing to take on!  Oy Vey!!!

Friday was my dad's birthday.  He would have been 75 years old.  My dad was nothing, if not genuine!    He was kind, compassionate, caring, loud, angry, happy, disgusted, frustrated, brilliant......and honest all the way through!  Good or bad, he was who he was!  And he was loved for just that!

It is because of him that I am who I am!  No holds barred, what ya see is what ya get!  Totally not perfect, very present in the moment of my feelings, but no bullshit.

Life is too short for drama and lies.

I feel bad for people who feel they have to "act like" to be accepted.  We are all the same.  If you sit back and watch, you will realize we all do the same stupid stuff.  We are just trying to get by.

But when you lie to someone else about who you are, the message to yourself is; "I'm not good enough".  or "I'm not acceptable".  That is your message to your SELF!

So I ask; what are you trying to live up to - and why?  What are the consequences for being  you?  And who ARE you???

A couple of years ago I was getting a massage from a lady who told me I need to do what I love.  I immediately assumed she meant photography, because that is what I do on the side.  But then she said words to me that nearly made me fall off the table......"you need to write!"

I didn't know this woman; had never met her before - and certainly never disclosed how much I love writing.  I had never even said anything to my husband!  No one knew, because I buried it long ago. 

I remember sitting at the computer in our office as a kid, and I started writing a 'book'.  But because of doubt, I abandoned it.  However....the desire has always been there.

I went home and started writing my own private blurbs.  And now, I'm here.

I'm going to get a massage from that same lady today, and I'm going to show her the book I had published of some of my writings (single issue, self published NBD).

I finally let "me" come forward.  And I like it.

Happy Sunday