It's funny how I keep thinking I will get organized, yet I still make decisions that keep me in a disorganized state. But I'm not giving up.
Today is the LAST girlscout meeting I will attend as a leader! One would think I have lots of things planned and I am ready to offer each girl a special gift.......but I don't. On either account.
These poor girls have had to deal with disorganization and lax leaders for the last two or three years. The reason we signed up was to "save" the troop. Well....at this time I feel like we are cutting the line and letting them fall to their deaths.
I know it is not exactly the case. But when one (in my mind) fails at something they set out to do; it's sad and disheartening to say the least.
However; realizing my own limitations, AND with the purchase of this new car; we are forced to look at things in a new light and accept our fate.
Yesterday we got the assignments for the girls' dance teams. Both were accepted into at least 2 teams. YAY US!!!!! ....... or so we thought.....
Last year was so difficult for me and my husband trying to balance things, that we are really taking a hard look at the decisions we need to make to keep good balance. And it's harder than I thought.
It is one thing "in theory" to make good choices. It's another entirely, to communicate that to your child who has high hopes, high expectations.....and no checkbook.
My husband and I had some serious discussions yesterday about choices we need to make. We knew they would be hard for the kids, because they want it all. But so do we!!!! It seems so easy to just say yes! But the fallout would be what I had to deal with last year, and there inlies the rub!
I'm having to go back, mentally, in my mind and literally access that stress that I felt in my body. And as it is not so far behind me, it still feels very much on the surface!
And with that; we had to communicate our decisions to our kids.
Being a parent is so hard at times. It would be so easy if we had a nanny, taxi driver, extra income (WHAT?), two new cars, and no jobs to get in our way. But unfortunately, we do not.
Like many, we are struggling to get it all done. So, here we are.
Much of the decisions have been made; but the schedules still have to be laid out. That will not be able to happen until this coming week. So, until then, I don't really even want to discuss it with the girls, because it is all moot until we have all the facts.
This year I will plan a lot better and see more of my friends than we did last year. I can only handle so much sacrifice.
And as for our little girlscout troop that we will say goodbye to.....my heart aches for them. However, they are all moving forward. The bottom line is, we did the best WE could with what we had to offer. And though it wasn't much, it was our hopes and efforts that kept it together to the best of our ability. And in that, we gave all we had!
Goodbye troop 1206. We will miss you!
Happy Sunday
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