Dead or Alive?

A headache is never a headache - and you never appreciate your health until you don't have it!

Yesterday I came home from work and noticed the beginning of an ocular migraine.  What is that you ask?  Well I had no idea until a few years ago when I had my mother (whom I never ask to drive me anywhere) drive me to my eye doctor for impaired vision.

An ocular migraine is a freaky and random thing that happens to your vision.  It lasts (for me) anywhere from 10 -30 minutes.  It's been called an "aura", but I like to call it the 'scratchy screen on the old channel 3 that crosses my vision from one eye to the other'.  It will start peripherally, and move across the front of my vision so I can't read, type, or basically see anything in full form - until it gets to the other peripheral location.  Yesterday it moved from right to left.

First time this happened to me was right after I ate leftover Jack Shrimp Jambalaya.  I was certain I had food poisoning.  I freaked out, and took a nap to see if it would pass, and it did. Thank GOD!

Next time it happened, I called the doctor.  He told me to come in right away and make sure it wasn't Retinal Detachment.  Thankfully, I was fine.  Then he explained to me this phenomena.  Somehow I didn't feel much better!  But at least I knew what it was!

Though it is called an Ocular MIGRAINE, it is not usually accompanied (in my case) with a headache (again, Thank God).  However, yesterday was awful! 

After the visual episode passed, I had this pressure on my head, like I was wearing a squeezing device.  It was super hot outside and I was sure my brain was swelling, looking for more room to breathe.  I am not sure I had felt pain like that before.  I was sure I was gonna stroke out!

Unfortunately, as a mom, I don't have time for a stroke; I had to pick up my kids and go meet hubby and his boss for dinner.  A stroke is not an option at this point.  So I walked gingerly and drank tons of water in case I was dehydrated.

Unfortunately, well into dinner, I felt the pressure bearing down on my head.  I was a little nervous.

I don't know about you, but for me, a headache is never a headache.  It's a brain tumor or a stroke. 

I had a rash on my arm a few months back and was certain is was skin cancer. 

And when I had a vertigo episode last year (let's talk about scared), I called 911 to see if they could tell I was having a stroke.  (no, I'm not joking).  I couldn't walk straight, and I think that threw me into a total panic attack.

They said they were gonna send someone out and I told them no - my husband was with me, so if I needed help I would have him call back, but they discharged the police and the fire department anyway (apparently they have to).  This was 11pm at night on Aspen's birthday and we had 10 girls sleeping in the front room.  DEFINITELY NO TIME FOR STROKE NOW!!!!

The cops came first and luckily, I was walking around outside trying to see if fresh air helped.  (Thank God again! Could you imagine the looks on the girlies faces when the cops come to the door in the middle of a birthday party?)

Luckily, the policeman was able to call off the rest of the posse.  I would have been devastated to mar my childs birthday party, with what turned out to be an inner ear imbalance!

Now, I'm not saying I'm a hypochondriac.  Because, usually, I don't air my wares......however, as I have talked to many people, I find we are all the same.

I have a friend who was on Weight Watchers and because she was losing at least a pound a week, she was certain it was cancer and not the program!

I think we all have a deep seeded fear that we will lose control of our lives at some point.  But most of us won't speak of it!  (Unless you are me and you put it out to the whole freakin' world!!!)

It comes down to control. 

My headache finally subsided (as of this morning).  I actually feel human again, and I am thankful for this beautiful day.  After all, I was convinced yesterday was my last.

Usually, I talk myself down before it all gets to the surface.  But in the face of my whacked out and over compensating fears, I decided to share today.  If for no other reason than to make you feel better that you don't have my brain!

Happy Wednesday!