Earplugs and windfactors....

Thank God for silicone earplugs.  That's all I got to say!!!

Night before last the wind was kicking up so much that Avery came in.  She is very much like me.  Not a great sleeper and gets freaked out in the middle of the night.

Aspen on the other hand.....out like a light, just like her daddy!!!

I was sleeping fine until Avery came in, and after I woke up, the sound of the wind seemed like it was right on top of us.

When these things happen, my brain refers to news casts.  I'm a visual person, so old scenes run through my head in worst case scenarios, aggravating my anxieties. 

As the wind pulled up in what seemed 100 miles per hour, I could literally see the hands of the wind ripping the roof off our house.  So I try to calm my thoughts and go back to the last time the winds kicked it up like this and our house is still standing and that is a good thing.  I go back and forth in my head with each new gust that shakes the house a bit.  And sound sleep escapes me the rest of the night......

And now I had a mini-me laying in my bed next to me, and I feel bad for what I created!

If Avery is anything like me, she has a long road ahead of her.  Only not as long as mine, hopefully!

With each new generation we become a little more aware - a little more savvy.  As I have had this anxiety for as long as I can remember, I know to keep an eye on her for the same signs.

But the one thing about my anxiety that I remember the most; is when I didn't realize I had it, I was afraid to share my thoughts with anyone.  I didn't want to "infect" them and make them live in the same hell I did.  Because if I told them how I was thinking, they would now be aware and they would be in fear too.

It was awful.  My parents had no idea.  I didn't really even know. 

I see some of the same signs in Avery.  She is hyper sensitive to certain things, just like I was.  I will most definitely be keeping an eye on her. 

It's so interesting to see exactly what is passed from generation to generation.  I see signs of both of us in our kids.  And I see signs from my mom and dad in me and my siblings.  I guess those are the roots that run deep.  My dad had anxiety, and from some of the stories my mom tells, I think my dads mom had it too.  Weird huh?  The gift that keeps on giving.....like a white elephant gift that you can't give away!!!

Hopefully with my awareness and keen ability to constantly talk to my kids (poor children, I know...) I can hopefully shed light to both my girls and save them some grief.

I know parents who don't communicate or spend time with their kids and I see a difference in who these children become.  Communication really does make a difference.  It is the best advice as a parent I have gotten.  When the kids were babies my sister said, "They are like little Rain Men - tell them exactly what to expect and follow through as you say, and they will be okay!"  (shout out to the Mo-ster).  She was right.  Letting them in on it and treating them as though you know they are there makes a big difference!!!

So, knowing the winds would kick up again last night, we gave Avery some earplugs to use as she slept.  And they worked like a charm.  And when she came into our bed, I didn't hear the doors in the house creak, because I too had earplugs in.  Only hers fell out which is why she woke up; and mine didn't.....cuz I had silicone.  Worked like a charm!!!

Happy Friday!!!