crippled by indecision

Either I'm getting slower, or I'm becoming increasingly aware of how long it takes me to evaluate and make a decision.

I am not "Johnny on the Spot" so to speak.  I definitely take time to evaluate every angle.

I know this frustrates my husband, but there is nothing I can do about it.  When we get into discussions (that is what he calls them anyways), he expects answers right away and I don't work that way.

I used to think something was wrong with me (don't we all on some level), but then I was talking to a gentleman one day about how he and his wife communicate, and I realized then that my processors are just different!

He said that when he wants to discuss something with his wife, he leaves her a note (way before Iphones, mind you).  He explains what he would like to discuss later, so she can spend the day thinking about it.

I was floored.  A guy that looks at a woman, realizes they communicate differently, and applies HER mode of contemplation to his mindset so he can set up an easier conversation for her!!!!

FASCINATING!!!!!!

I started realizing then, that I really do evaluate and analyze more than others.  This makes it harder for me to "Debate".  I'm also not one of those who can "fling poo" during a heated argument.

I'm more likely to walk away.

But truthfully, as I get older, I realize much of the "stuff" to discuss isn't life or death, so it doesn't have a deadline.  So, it doesn't get a "10" in my book.

Some people speak at a "10" more often than not.  I have also realized that I tend to shut down in their presence.  Makes for fun conversation on my part!

Now, not to diss my husband, but he's my main example as I live with him day in and day out.

We have had many conversations where I have explained to him my "slow approach" when it comes to conversation.  And frankly, once the conversation has started between us, he already has a resolution in his mind, so to wait for me to come to the same conclusion is not only frustrating...it's aggravating.  And even after 16 years of being together, he still looks at me like I'm......well let's say, "Special".

He just doesn't get it.  It's all so clear to him that he can't fathom an answer taking THAT LONNNGG!!!!  And so I shut down further.

Most of the time it's not that important to me.  Whatever the conversation, I can't get my panties in a wad over it.  But sometimes it does matter.  And that is when things get interesting.

The bottom line is; we all don't process the same way.  And that is okay.  I tried to explain to Avery yesterday (who was trying to do art and felt like she failed a bit) I cannot see something in my mind and put it to paper, when it comes to drawing.  I told her that I know she was frustrated, but this art project was just a project.  And if she wasn't good at it, she had two choices; practice it over and over until she masters it....or cut your losses and move on.  She confessed that it wasn't important enough to try over and over, and so I let her know that we are the same in art.  We see it clearly in our minds, and it gets jumbled by the time it hits is medium.  And that is okay!  I told her to this day, I can draw a horses head pretty well, but never got to its legs so it has no where to run.  (I don't think she got that one though).

Anyway, appreciate your differences.  If we were all the same and all perfect, how boring life would be!

Happy Tuesday!