What's your strength

I walked around my house this morning and I keep preparing to step over and around stuff.....only, it's not there.

Julie came over yesterday and cleaned my house.  She is an amazing whirlwind.  She let me edit my wedding while she made room for the Norwegians to come so they could have a place to lay their head....and their luggage.  She loves the heck out of that family.   And mine!

She is our family.

I felt guilty as I sat at my desk, but I was so thankful that two things were getting done at once.

When someone is so giving of themselves, it's hard to not feel guilty.   Or, like a slouch.  Then I started realizing that we all have our gifts and we use them in time.

Last year, I spent hours at a friends house going through her garage, sifting and sorting stuff that isn't mine.  It was a no-brainer for me, but she was overwhelmed.  Because it was her stuff.    She was so grateful and humbled, but I was glad to do it.  I set aside my time, and pushed things off my list, so I could help her.  Just like Julie did for me.  I am humbled and thankful to have her in my life.

We all have gifts.  When Julie was going through my stuff, she talked to me about ways I could potentially make it better and cleaner on an on-going basis.  It's so clear in her mind, like a grid.  But not so clear in my own.  As she was talking to me, she was sitting on the couch in my office.  She has one of the best brains I know.  Things come pretty easy for her.  But for me, not so much. 

As she is explaining things, I'm very aware, that at my desk I barely have room for my keyboard.  Things are crowding around it, slowly overtaking the whole desk.  As I look at the items that are taking over, I  can't remember how they got there.  And then sudden glimpses flash before my eyes.......I call it the "cut and run".  

Cut and run is my life.  I have exactly 30 minutes for one task, and then no matter what, I cut and run.  Or....I'm in the middle of a task, I get summoned to another room, so I cut and run.  And things never get to their intended location.   But wait....there is no intended location for many of the items on my desk, because I don't know where to put them.   Ahhhh.....the picture is getting clearer.

But Julie can see it all.  "If you 'just' do it this way......."

I have heard this before.  My husband is another "clairvoyant" in this area.  He might as well be sitting next to her nodding crazily in agreement to all she says.

But the thing I had to explain to Julie is: though in theory, her words are perfect.....in reality and in my brain....they don't compute.   I told her she is telling a person with no hands, to pick up the fork and use it.  Not that is can't be done....but my brain doesn't have her hands.

My brain does try to wrap its little self around what she is saying.  But it doesn't compute.  The bottom line is correct; something needs to change; but it won't be done in the way she is saying it.

My brain is different.  And to articulate that to someone who can see it all so clearly, is not only frustrating, but makes one feel.....well.....retarded.  (Please do not send me comments on my use of this word.  It is a legitimate word and applies to my feelings.)  However, I realize I am not retarded at someone else's house.  I am efficient, and reasonable and have great suggestions.  I have seen it happen many a time!!!!  It's just my house!!!

However....in regards to my house....one thing about me is.....I never give up!  I have tried many things to organize my home and it usually reverts back to chaos.  The only thing I do know about myself  and the reason the chaos works for me is; I am very visual; and putting stuff away doesn't work for me, because then it is "lost".  SO many people don't get this.

So, as I walk around my house this morning; I am grateful.  There is nothing I can do to repay Julie for her kindness.  She offered for me to go to her house and do the same, and I am happy to do that.  Her house will be easier than mine, because its not my stuff. 

We all have strengths and weaknesses.  We are good at something and not others.  We need to recognize this for ourselves.  It took me years to realize that my brain is WAY slower than my husbands, because he computes WAY faster than me, while I emotionally weigh out all the pros and cons and come to conclusions at a slower rate.  I used to feel like an idiot when we would stand there and wait for an answer.  But when I finally blasted him with the path my brain takes to evaluate his questions.....he quit criticizing me.  It was a lesson for both of us.  But communication bridged the gap.

Learn your strengths  and celebrate them.  You are not stupid....you are just different and unique and perfect!!!

Happy Tuesday!