Abuse in power

If someone told you that you had the power to significantly impact someone’s life; that you alone could change the direction of someone's life path, what would you do with that???

It's huge pressure to have that kind of power, isn't it?  What would you do?  Who would you go to?  How would you do it? 

Is it possible that you actually do have this kind of power?  And had it all along???

You do.

So do I.  We are very powerful and we don't even realize it.  How?  Are you curious?  Well, I'll tell you; its.....................................................words.

Yep.  Words.  Simple words.  Your words can impact someone for the positive or the negative.

I'm sure if you think back somewhere in your history; as a child, you can remember something that someone said to you that shaped who you are today?  Good or bad, you know I am right.

We don't stop to think about the power of our words.  Many don't think about the impact that we have or could potentially have to use these to either build or break someone else.

One of my FB friends, a friend from high school asked a question to all about bullying.  It really got me thinking about the many faces of bullying.  She stirred my heart immediately. 

I have had to deal with an ounce of this during the school year, and I didn't like what I was hearing.  Immediately, I started talking to my girls about this, and asking them questions, and talking to the school employees about what they knew. 

What was happening was mere intimidation.  I say, mere, because it could have been a lot worse.  I feel there is damage control at the 'mere' stage.  Or is there???

What about the child on the receiving end?  What is her interpretation?  Is it 'mere' or life-altering?  How is she feeling about her self?  Her self-worth?  Her ability to handle any situation?  What if she doesn't have a parent who is hearing her words at home?  What if she is going home and internalizing all her pain?

Is it 'mere'?

The truth is; you never ever know how your words are being taken by the recipient.  A child in the room can over hear a conversation, assume it is about them, and internalize and suffer silently. 

What about the words you tell yourself?  Are they good?  Are they glowing and amazing.....or devastating and debilitating?  Do you spend your days building yourself up?  Or breaking yourself down?  Have you ever called yourself an idiot?  Worse yet.....did you believe it?

Lets look at the other side.

I remember one day as a child; I walked into the house after just having my hair cut.  At that time (don't laugh youngsters), I wanted to look like Jaclyn Smith (who am I kidding, I still do).  But when I walked in, my brother was on the phone (a perfect chance to ignore me), and he stopped his conversation and complimented my hair cut.  Then proceeded to tell whoever was on the other end (probably a girl) that his little sister just got her hair cut and looked like Valerie Bertinelli.  (If I couldn't look like Jaclyn....Valerie was a VERY acceptable substitute).  I smiled and went down the hall.

I'm not sure if the compliment touched me because I wasn't expecting it, or just wasn't sure how I looked in my new hair.  But the result was a very positive one; and 30 years later, it still makes me smile.  My oldest brother was fond of me for some reason, and every so often, he showed kindnesses that meant the world to me, because I was in such awe of him.  So much so, that I wore his pants to school one day.

I thought my brother was the coolest there ever was. So when I wore these pants, (purple and black corduroy leopard print pants that you would most certainly see at a Def Leppard concert)  I thought they would make me as cool as he was. 

But stay with me a second...............

I was in history.  My teacher, Mr. Young (a crush on this man I swear), was teaching a history lesson.  I stared at him and listened to every word he said.  And then, strangely, in the middle of his lesson, he said, "Oh, and by the way, if anyone is missing seat covers from their Volkswagen, Cathy is wearing them". 

Yes....a teacher.....I was devastated!!!  Not only did this man embarrass me; he broke my heart and my trust in one fell swoop.  Everyone in the class laughed at my expense.  And from that day forward, I shrunk back in my seat as quite and unnoticed as I could be.

Thankfully, I saw him at the bank a few years ago.  He's a principal at a local school  (go figure).  He was at the front of the line and I called his name.  When he turned around, the words came flying out of my mouth as though they had been waiting in queue for this moment, "I was your student at CV and you HUMILIATED me in class."  

Now, it wasn't a very adult thing to do; say it so the three people in front of me could hear; but at that moment, I wasn't a 30-something......  I was a wounded teenager.  I stood there in disbelief that this man had progressed so much in his career, given his abuse in power. 

The adult in me forgave him (though I'm not sure he has yet forgiven me).  But I wanted him to know that the power he had was misused, and to realize the scars that 'mere' words leave on the soul.  A negative imprint………to carry forward.

The truth is, most of us will never realize the true power of our words.  To us, they are just words; something we think, and then quickly say.  But to someone else, they could be the end all be all of their existence.

So do your best to choose your words wisely.   Consider who you are talking to and realize how your words might be interpreted. 

The first lesson in marketing is "Know your Audience".    I belief this is also true in life.  Know your audience and don't abuse the power you have.   Build someone up and change the course of their life for the better.  You have the power to do this.

Use your words wisely!

Happy Thursday!