Yesterday, on my way taking the girls to dance, traffic was backed up and it took forever to get off the freeway. 2 lights, three lights....what they heck???? As I got closer to the light, I started seeing the commotion. Flashing lights over by the gas station. Something was up....and it wasn't good. My heart started sinking at what I may see. My mind started scrambling. ......
Just yesterday I saw a jogger being picked up over by the lake. No car was in sight for that one, so it could have been a hit and run, or something else, I didn't know. My mind, doesn't accept that, however, because it always wants all the pieces, so I spend time trying to put it all together with only a few pieces of the puzzle. It's very frustrating.
Finally, I get off the freeway, and round the corner to see streets blocked, a couple of fire trucks, a paramedic truck, sheriffs directing traffic, yet there is nothing in the street. Then as I turn the next corner, I realize the direction they are all facing. The train tracks. As I pass by (slowly), I look over and there it is.... a car.....on the tracks.....demolished.
There was no train in sight. It came from somewhere, and as we were right by the overpass, I had my best guess.
I had the girls in the car, and when I saw the scene, all I could say was "Oh My God!". I repeated it a million times. (I know this because my girls told me).
My heart sank into my stomach. Who was this? How did it happen? I am certain there are no survivors, but how many were in the car? Was it suicide? An accident? Texting? Seriously, I tried really hard to put the pieces together. Because unless I do, the same thing can happen to me!
I found my heart very heavy. In case you don't know me by now, I'm WAY analytical. And I don't know how to stop it.
I found myself thinking how this person, (or persons) got up and brushed their teeth, like any other day. Now knowing that "This" is the day. Their last day. What were they thinking as they went over the cliff and realized they had no control? Were they regretting their last moments decision, or was it completely out of their control and they didn't have a chance?
Heavy thoughts.
Anytime something happens to anyone, I instantly turn it on myself. Because the truth is....if it can happen to them...it can happen to me!
Do you ever do that???
After I dropped the girls off, I had to go to the beach for a photoshoot. It was with a couple whose wedding I shot 6 years ago. They wanted me to photograph their family. As a photographer, I am blessed to document people's lives. I get to watch their families grow and be a part. I was thankful for this reprieve from the heavy and the serious.
As I played with their 1 year old, I giggled and made funny faces and played peek a boo and sang kids songs (as much as I could remember them). What a 180 from 1 hour ago. When the session was done, I didn't want to leave. I watched this couple with their baby, and I watched the baby who is so loved. My heart was light again, if only for a moment. I hugged them all good bye and started my trek back home.
When I got home, I went online and found more information about the accident. It was one woman. No more details. She did not make it. My mind is still trying to put the pieces together and my heart is still heavy.
However, on this day, I will not take a second for granted.
I am always reminded of a few things. 1. Nothing is really in our control. 2. Our lives as we know it can change in an instant. 3. Family is the most important thing. 4. With God all things are possible.
If I didn't have faith, I wouldn't have much.
Hug your family, kiss your kids, tell them they are the best!!! All you have is now. Take advantage of that!
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