Shot again

I got shot in the face last night. I couldn't believe it.

Ever have dreams like that?

My dream was trying to escape an awkward situation, and as I left, I witnessed a guy getting shot. And when he saw me, he shot me too.

I was terrified. I hate dreams like that.

But I heard they have meaning, so I am looking into it.

The worst part is waking up and still feeling that realness in your body.

I feel like I didn't do anything to deserve it and I am angry that it happened. I feel betrayed.

Betrayed.

I am so naive, it bites me in the butt all the time. I trust, and then get bit. While all standing around me are shocked that I didn't see it coming.

One thing I know about myself is I don't like to anticipate. It isn't in my DNA, ask my husband. When we watch a movie, he is constantly blown away, that I couldn't figure out the ending. I tell him, I never try. I like to let the movie unfold before me. I think it actually drives him nuts. For him, it is almost a game to see how quickly into the movie he can put all the pieces together. Way too much work on my part, no thank you!

But, time and again, I go on the good graces of people, and do my best not to read between the lines....until it's time.

And, I got shot in the face.

I may as well say 'again', because whether it is proverbial, or literal, it happens more than I would like. And then I get hurt. And my heart feels heavy.

But all that being said; if I were to start looking at people as 'potential suspects' I wouldn't enjoy them at all. In most instances, it isn't malicious. It is more unconscious.

We all tend to do stupid things without thinking about it. I know, I do it all the time. We are more driven by our unconscious than most of us are aware.

More often than not, I start my blog with 'I got nuthin'. Then I start writing something and the words just start to flow.

The hardest part of writing for me is editing in my mind as I write, because that takes conscious effort. And who likes to actually 'think' first thing in the morning.

And while I still sit hear with the remnants of being shot in the face, I don't actually remember if I lived, or died. I don't think that was the point of the dream. But I did wake up. And I am thankful for that.

I think today will be spend trying to pull the bullet out. Might be painful....might be effortless. But I would say it is a perfect task for a Monday....wouldn't you?

Happy Monday