Wha????

The last few days, something has been nagging at me, and I don't know what it is.  I sit at my computer as if I have something to look up or write, but nothing comes to mind.  I feel like I'm missing something!  Just don't know what. 

In my quest to reduce my anxieties, I had to learn to listen and respond to signals in my body.  However, the thing with anxiety is, sometimes it is a false alarm - which makes this process oh-so-fun!

It is a labor of love and desperation.  It's a necessity, because the alternative is going nuts!  And I'm already partly nutty - I don't wanna go full bore!

One day I had this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.  It sat there all day and I couldn't get rid of it.  So, I finally decided to sit down and go through my events of the day to figure it out.  It took me a good few minutes to pinpoint the event that set my anxieties on high.  It was a conversation I had with a non-friend (someone who didn't really know me).  I had said something I didn't think went over well, and it was bothering me that her opinion of me might be flawed!  (God forbid we aren't all perfect).

I had to dissect the conversation (in my mind) and do a "what if" scenario in my head.  What IF she took my comment wrong?  Then what?

I literally had to play it out and bring my anxiety level down to a manageable level.  It took about 30 minutes to do all this. 

That's a lot of time to use when you have other things filling your life!

But it was necessary for me to move on, so I didn't have a choice.  And, in the end, it was worth it, because if that happened again, I would be able to dissect it quicker and come to a faster resolution.

Sometimes I wish there was a little brain fairy writing down all the inner dialog in my brain.  How many times I have had a conversation with myself that totally chipped away at my self confidence.  And it usually runs in the background of my mind, so I don't usually hear it, so much as 'feel' it.

Don'tcha hate that???

So, while I don't know what this nagging is, I will have to sit and wait quietly until I figure out what it is.  It's been there a few days now, and I'm hoping it isn't something big.

It would be so much easier to ignore it.  Unfortunately for me, it just isn't possible.  Hopefully it will come to me soon........

Happy Friday