The other day when we were cleaning out that house, it was apparent that it had not been cared for in some time. When we got there, we assessed the placed and all the cleaning products were pulled out and off to work we went.
As we got rid of the big stuff and were left with just the bones of the house, the level of filth started to sink in. The master bathroom had dust and webs on the walls. As we swept through, the dust filtered into my lungs. It was very thick. Even though this house lay empty for a few months, the level of dirt was much longer.
People lived here. How does one let it get so far, that they can't look at their own surroundings and see that change needs to be made? And are they affecting the lives of others, or just themselves?
My heart sank, heavily. I actually cried. I wanted so badly to judge. This is a very unhealthy environment for anyone to live in, especially children. And I had my two girls there, helping clean every nook and cranny to make this place saleable and attractive.
As it turned out, we got through the day. We made the place look decent....and then we left.
I came home to my house with new eyes.
My girls always complain when we have to clean our house. After seeing this house, they now know the potential, if we keep letting it go.
Sunday, we cleaned our house. They sat in their rooms going through a lot of stuff. As I started cleaning my bathroom, I saw the beginnings of what I had cleaned at that house. I was on my way - if I didn't fix it now!
The potential is there for all of us. We have the choice at any time to make things right, but sometimes we choose to look away.
I try so hard not to judge, because I am not perfect by any means. I feel like I am so naive in thinking everythinig is okay. Maybe I just cloud my own mind, because the truth hurts too much. And every time I have to actually face it, I emotionally shut down, and withdraw trying to process it all.
Yesterday was hard. I went to church and sat next to my husband, and he could tell that something wasn't right. I barely listened to the sermon on Faith. I'm sure there was a lesson there, but my heart couldn't hear a thing. I sat in my room, cleaning; trying to make things right. As if cleaning my house would fix their situation.
In the end, I can only control myself and my little world. I can do my best to clean my own house and make my children responsible to clean their own little world. Hopefully, I'll help them to be more responsible than I am. Not likely...they are off to a rocky start thanks to lack of direction from their parents. But we won't give up! I still have them for a few years before they go sailing off into the sunset.
But I must start with me.
Happy Monday
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