Kids and communication

Don't put your shoes on the table!!!!

Yep; that one sentence turned my daughter from jovial to deadly!  Well...that's how she looked anyway.  Girls can turn on a dime; I just witnessed it.  Heck, I've lived it!

The picture I posted on facebook of myself and Avery was shown to my mom.  My mom quickly recounted the fact that when I was a kid; I was sour faced when the camera came out.  I was actually surprised.  Because when I was in my preteen and teen years I wanted to model!  I would have cheesey posed for anyone in "my" memory!

So to hear I was difficult as a child, was surprising to me.  But the funny thing was I have the proof!!  And in thinking about other pictures from that age, I was pretty sour in a lot of the pictures!  I hate kids like that!!!  And yet, here I was, one of them!

So what's up with that?

I know some kids are born that way.  And others it's an environmental issue.  Which was I?  Well, if I had to judge from my teenage years, I think it was both!

I do believe your adulthood is spent trying to get over your childhood.  Childhood can be hard.

As I just witnessed; asking my child to remove her shoes from the dining room table just turned her world upside down.  And I asked nicely!!!

Childhood is hard!  So many things happen that you don't understand and you don't know how to handle.  And if you don't have someone to talk to about it, or don't feel comfortable talking to, then you are literally in hell trying to piece it all together.

I was talking to the kids about school one day, and some of the things that some of the kids do are quite disturbing.  Calling each other names is one thing, but some of these kids actions are a little alarming.

I told my girls to do their best to fly under the radar with these kids,  and I gave them a few fast forward scenarios of their future.  I told my girls to not judge them but to feel sorry for them, but please leave them alone!!!  One of the stories sounded like a pre-cursor to Columbine!  I do NOT want my child in that path of fire!!! 

I realize with kids, asking "How's your day" is great if you want to act like you did your job and be disengaged with your kids.  I have found it's a little trickier than asking closed ended questions.  It's important to take mental notes; ask specific question, and remember all the players names.

It's also a good idea, if your kid it timid, to not be looking at them when you are talking.  The other day I had a great conversation with Aspen while I was curling her hair.  We were both preoccupied (me trying to figure out the whole curling process and her trying not to get burned by her mother).  It made conversation really easy. 

If I don't remember the players, I won't get all the important information. 

I feel bad for kids who have parents who are constantly unavailable.  Kids' minds go wild.  If they don't have someone in their lives to keep them in check, it could get pretty scary!!!

I photographed a friends son yesterday.  She has a senior and three other kids ranging in age down to 5th grade.  My goal with my kids is what I see with her kids.  They are well adjusted, sweet, kind and connected kids.  They still like and talk to their mom.  She's my hero and doesn't even know it. 

That's all I want for my kids.  To always know they can come talk to me, and better yet, want to come talk to me.  It's a hard road, but one definitely worth traveling.

Idle chit chat is more important than you think!

Happy Monday!