Sadness

Sadness fills my heart with news of my friends fathers passing.  I have known him since I was 14 years old. 

When my friend called yesterday, I had pretty much been waiting.  Not certain of the news, but waiting to hear from her.  But the second I picked up the phone and heard her strained, "Hi", my heart fell to my stomach.

Their relationship was tight.  Her father is everything to her.  They've been to concerts together, traveled together, and laughed endlessly together.  This will create a huge gap in her life. Or rather, a void.  I have been there myself.  I know it's hard.

When she gave me the details of his passing, it took me right back to when I was with my dad.   I was at his side, as she was at her fathers side.  It's a powerful moment, indeed.  I'm thankful she got to be there.  He wasn't alone.

After we hung up the phone, I went over things I'd said to her, and I just wasn't sure if I had said the 'right' things.  But what are the right things?  What is the right way to act?

If I could have, I would have dropped everything.  But I always halt myself, because I know that there are times I would want to be alone and that wouldn't have been the proper thing to do, so I didn't offer.  And I feel like I should have.

Everyone grieves differently.  It is a very personal thing.  The only thing I have to go on is my own past experience with my family.  And we are not as tight as hers.  Though I feel like family to her, I do believe there is an invasion point, which I don't want to cross.

At the time she called, she was still at the hospital, so she needed time to go home and let the dust settle before she was bombarded with questions.  I got the information I needed to know and I merely told her whatever she needed, I would be there. 

The date is set for the services.  I will most assuredly be there.  I wouldn't miss honoring this man for the world!

George; you lived a great life, and you raised great kids.  You have a loving and fantastic family who are tightly bonded and come together in times of need.  You created an environment that was safe for them.  They had no hesitation in coming to you and they cherished the time they spent with you.  As you rest now, please know you did well.  Your job is done.  Thank you for the laughs and hugs and for making me feel a part of your family!  I love you and you will be missed.