I remember many years ago not understanding people addicted to races. 5k, 10k, marathon, you name it. I didn't totally get it. Not even after my first 5k. I remember being tired and thinking, "Thank God that's over!" But then I started seeing a pattern emerge that made me understand.
After every race, I would look at my time and think, "Oh....I could do better". Or, I would reflect back on where I went slow and how I could fix it for "next time". Then, I started hearing my sister quoting the same things, and I realized...at least in foot races.....we are running against ourselves.
Then it made me remember something interesting. I was in a training class one time for work, and I remember the trainer telling us to take one of the two sticky notes and put it as high as you can on the wall. So we took our yellow sticky notes and put them up high. Some stood on chairs, some just jumped as high as they could (no specific directions were given, so some played it safe, because we didn't know why we were doing this). Then she told us (with the same lack of direction) do it again with the pink sticky note. This time, everyone was getting on chairs, some even tables, to put them as close to the ceiling as they could.
Then the trainer said, "Take a look around you. All of the pink sticky notes (the ones we placed second) are higher than the yellow ones. I didn't give you direction, but you all just tried to do better the second time. That is human nature. We are always trying to improve". (I'm not going to lie; I felt a little like a monkey in a circus being trained. But, I did realize the significance of what she was saying. And she was right! )
As I think of all the races I have done (even the ones I said I would "throw"), I always tried to push myself to achieve the best I could that day!!!
Maybe that is why competitions are good. But what if they go bad? Yesterday I was at a dance competition, and when the girls didn't get their highest marks, I saw a little bit of sadness. My own daughter said, "We sucked". Apprarently, it's either first place or no place at all!
Now, as an adult, we have the ability to overcome our defeats a bit better.
But as a child, how do we stop them from internalizing their defeat?
It's so easy to get wrapped up in the "Competition" of it all, that you forget this is more or less a test of how well you learned your skill. And, I believe it is meant to be more of a learning tool to see how well you do against other teams.
But what I see is people getting so wrapped up in it, they change. Most take it in stride, but some take this as the end all/be all of their existence. Now, at higher age levels, I can see where this is important, because by this time one may have learned their craft very well. But for newer or younger kids, to get so down it a bit disconcerting.
So, as a mom, do I accept my childs unhappiness as her determination to be better next time? Or do I do damage control and take her to counseling (okay...not really counseling, but you know....). As a parent, we do our best to encourage our children to give it their all. But I think competition isn't so much about the competition itself....it's about the aftermath. I do want my children to strive.....but I also want it to be a good growing experience. If you aren't gaining something from what you are doing, you are losing precious time. I will do my best to make sure my childrens' time is not being lost!
Super proud of all the teams who competed. I do believe it's a great experience and I'm so thrilled to be a part of the MVDPAC team! Great instructors, great kids! Great day!!!
And from now on, I will be adding pictures to some of my upcoming blogs at my nieces request, because apparently talking about Apple Turnovers (in an earlier blog) is no good unless you have a picture to back it up!
Happy Mothers Day!!!
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