Managing Relationships

This week's topic at work is Managing Relationships.

I love this topic, because it is so dynamic.  People don't realize how we are driven by those around us.  We watch to see what the other is doing.  We call our friends to find out, "What are you wearing tonite?"  We get disappointed because someone didn't treat us the way we'd hoped.  We get into fights, because someone is hurt and can't articulate it.  

Which brings me to my other point.  The other thing people don't realize is how poor we communicate with each other.  We refuse to acknowledge we are all big kids who get our feelings hurt, or we get scared, and can't put words to it, so we lash out in strange ways.

When someone is changing their life (lets take losing weight for example), people tend to get weird.  I have witnessed it myself as I have been there. 

First of all, people hate change!  HATE IT!

Change means something wasn't working, which can be a frightening thought to a loved one.  (if you are changing that, then what is next....me????)  More often than not the other person doesn't realize why they are feeling so threatened, and if they are not in tune with themselves, they are reacting before thinking about it.  Most of us react in emotion, which makes communication nearly impossible.

So, what's a person to do?  They are trying to lose weight and change their lives and people around them are freaking out! (okay, maybe not freaking out, but not totally supportive either).

This is a deciding factor for many people.  Sink or swim.  If you swim, you leave someone behind you, because they are not changing.  Sink...and you give up on yourself.   This can be a stressful time!

And for people who love to eat as a coping mechanism, this can be tricky.  Food is our stress reliever, because we can't cope with our events and situations.  If we were coping well and in control, we wouldn't need to eat.  But when chaos abounds, watch out cake, here I come!!!!  (Okay, I, personally am not that bad, but I have had my moments!)

Support is really important.  But sometimes you have to pave the way to get people to support you.  They just have to see for themselves that you are happier in your convictions and eventually they will be on board with you.  It's getting through the sticky stuff that is the hardest part.  But if you believe in what you are doing, not only will you succeed, you will be a role model for those who are unsure.  Because as I said in the first paragraph here People don't realize how we are driven by those around us. 

When met with resistance, communicate!  Ask for help.  Ask for support.  Let the other person know that they are needed in your journey.  They may not be on the team, but teams have cheerlearders, don't they?  The stronger you stand your ground, the sooner others will yield.  It may take time, but if it means something to you, it's worth it!

So my advice here is to be the example.  Pave the way.  Be a role model.  It's not easy, but that is why they call it the road less traveled! 

Happy Paving!