As I have stated in the past, diversions keep me from being organized. However, I have this overwhelming drive inside about seizing the day when the mood strikes me.
Most of the time it's a no brainer; if it's a nice day, I'm not working, nothing else is scheduled and I 'should' be cleaning the house; it's very easy to say, 'let's go to the beach' instead. But this is where I get bit. Eventually, it all starts piling up, and comes crumbling down on a day that wouldn't have happened if I had just stuck to 'the plan'.
However, sometimes I honestly feel like today is all we have. And how do you compete with that? Anything can happen at any moment of our lives and literally change everything!!! I have seen it happen!
Growing up with my sister, she was chock full of responsibility. She literally elected to clean her room. Now, to her credit, we shared a room (to her dismay) and she just wanted all the crap picked up cuz she couldn't live with it anymore. But I never felt that way. Not once! I never looked at our room and said, "Gee, what a mess....let us take this day and clean!!!!" Trust me, I wish it had! Cuz now I sit here, some 30+ years later with the same struggles I had then! "I don't care".
"I don't care" works great when you are all by yourself and have no one to be accountable to. However, I have a few people to whom I am accountable. And two of them are in training. Yes....from me....quit laughing........
This makes it a bit more difficult to "seize the day", because I am literally training my kids that we can live life on a whim, and that 'responsible' stuff can just wait. So, it makes it a little more difficult to make this decision.
So, I sit here, fighting in my head between the wants and the shoulds. Another problem with my choices is the when I DO get that golden moment where I want to clean the house; the kids just look at me like "We don't do that, mother. Remember? We have Disney passes....or we go to the beach...or we shop!" And, of course, the cooperation is out the window and the fights ensue. It's a bad cycle.
But, with all that said, I have a sick daughter on the couch, and one grumpy-ish from just waking up. And as I write, I'm staring at a MOST beautiful day, and I cannot help but think to myself....."she'll be sick no matter where she is, and the other will perk up as soon as we get to Disneyland".
Is that bad?
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