Date Night

Let me talk about the importance of a date night.....

Last night I got the chance to have hubby to myself for the night.  With day to day life we don't always like see each other....or even like each other for that matter.

It's so easy to take each other for granted.

I remember when Aspen was born, someone told me, "Remember...now you have TWO children!"  Meaning two people you need to take care of.  I kind of disregarded it thinking, 'ya right'......

But it is true!!!

If it wasn't true then would Dr. Laura write a book on "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"?

It's easy to disregard another adult in your house.  The feeling is, "They're fine.  They can take care of themselves."

But the truth is everyone needs care in the house. 

I don't know one person in the world who doesn't shine when given a compliment. 

But how do you compliment someone you don't see, or don't pay attention to?

Well, this is my case in point!

Last night, we decided to go to dinner and a movie (cliche, I know).  But before our babysitter came, I was cleaning the girls room, and to be honest, my desire to go out was waning quickly.  I was now in task mode and I was working quickly.  And if you know me and know how rare that is, then you know I need to strike while the iron is hot!!!

But I stopped myself and we made the choice to go out. 

So the question becomes, "Where"?  I really hate that question!!  "Where do you want to eat?"  or "What movie do you want to see?"  (If you read yesterdays blog, you get my point).

My only desire was to do something we don't always do.  So we decided to go to the Tustin District.  It's a semi new place (pretty new to me) and it's all "shiny and perty"....

As soon as we got there, there was a band playing.  Chris, being the musician enjoyed sizing them up.  It was fun being in the presence of a band with him NEXT to me as opposed to him being on stage and me being his audience.  It's cute to watch him critique bands (and of course, their equipment).

We went to dinner at the Blue Water Grill.  It's part of Santa Monica Fish Company.  The ambience was nice.  They asked where we wanted to sit.  It was a toss up of the patio, where we could hear the the band loud and clear; or inside where we could actually talk.  We chose inside.

They say when you go on a date with your spouse, you should do your best to NOT talk about the kids.  Can I tell you how hard that is to do??

Many times when we are home, Chris tries to talk to me.  But when I'm at home, I am so distracted with all the things I have to get done that I can only absorb about 20 percent of what is said.  I don't mean to...but it's just really hard to keep my focus on things when I have 5 other tasks I am trying to juggle.

So to sit across from him at a semi quiet restaurant and actually focus on him with nothing else around was really nice.  I asked him about his job and his band(s) and we talked a bit about my business and upcoming decisions. 

Then as squirrels do, they crept into our conversation.  We were seated near the kitchen.  So we got to watch the comings and goings of the waiters and the shuffle of the chefs behind the line.  They were all wearing red baseball hats and I couldn't figure the significance of them or figure out who made the call to make them red at the BLUE Water Grill.  But that was a minor distraction.

When the conversation waned a bit I had to ask my pseudo chef husband about this HUGE pot sitting on shelf in the kitchen.....  Does that sit on one burner, or two??? 

I laughed at myself that I couldn't let this go.  But as I just made a huge vat of Chicken and dumplings that barely fit on my one burner, I was wondering how would that huge pot fit on our stove.....

Chris humored me with the best answer he could muster and we continued our conversation.

Our dinner was amazing by the way!!  We had Oysters on the half shell, ceviche lettuce wraps and shrimp cocktail...... SO DELICIOUS!!!

After that we went bowling.  It wasn't on the schedule, but he humored me again!  It was so fun to watch him spin the bowling ball and see it curve down the lane.  He even got a couple of strikes.

We both gutterballed a number of times and laughed at each other.  This is not something we regularly do, so it was fun to see each other out of our element.  (My element won both games by one point!!!)

After bowling we decided to go to the movies.  It was 9pm.  After 8pm, me and movies don't get along so well.  I'm old and tired and I tend to doze off!! (When did I become my mother?) 

The only movie available was Total Recall.  Totally not my thing.  It freaked me out as a kid, and I didn't watch it.  So to walk in to see it was a huge stretch for me.  The only draw was Kate Beckinsale and Colin whateverhisnameis....

I dozed off a few times in the movie.  It was O.K.  Not great.  But I got through it.  And then we went home. 

I can't tell you HOW important it is to reconnect one to one.  We take each other for granted and don't give each other the time of day and don't think much of it because we see each other every day.  But the truth is, on the way home, I really liked who I was sitting next to.  And for two people who pass each other in the night, this is a great accomplishment.

I went to weigh in this morning and I saw my mentor.  She gave me the greatest compliment....  She said I look so much more relaxed and less stressed than the last few times she saw me.  My heart swelled.  I realize that taking time for myself and focusing on my family has been a very good choice!!!

I encourage you to do the same.  When you can sit across from someone and give them all of you....there is a payoff in both sides....

Happy Sunday!!!