The Wild Hair syndrome

Sometimes I am struck with...well let's call it a "wild hair" to do something not planned!  Usually, it's when I have to do something else, like cleaning the house or doing taxes, but hey, I say, when the mood strikes, go for it!

Sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to do what isn't planned!  It's good to get "out of the box" and have fun.  But if you find yourself doing it often, when you are supposed to be doing something else, you might want to ask yourself if it is the best use of your time!

Sometimes, we go on a whim, and it's all good.  But sometimes, we use it as an avoidance mechanism, and that can be counterproductive.  Many times I find myself "Creating" things that "need" to be done, when in fact, I'm just avoiding a less pleasing task.  Usually, cleaning my house.  For the most part that is okay, unless it gets to a point of frustration.  I get very frustrtated at times that I cannot keep my house tidy.  I drop and run so often throughout the day that I literally find trash on counters and tables that I just as easily could have walked over to the can and dumped it.  Such is my life.

It amazes me the intricate weave that is our emotions!  They actually have terms for these things like "Displacement".  This is when you are angry and someone, but take it out on someone else.  Ever been there?  Or "Passive Aggressive".  This is a great one.!  This is is a type of behavior in which a person is angry but instead of discussing it openly, they secretly sabotage situations, events or relationships. It's so annoying!  And sometimes hard to deal with.  Because those who are passive aggressive, and GOOD at it, are sometimes hard to detect.  They go along in agreement, but secretly switch things or make them more difficult and it's pretty tiresome trying to figure it all out!  Personally, I don't have time for that, and I have gotten pretty good about detecting it.  I'm way too tired to have to figure people out so I appreciate those who are more direct.  There are so many terms for so many things we do it can make your head spin!  As I stated in an earlier posting, we literally have Labels for EVERYTHING!!!!

But, this isn't about personal relationships or labels (I guess); this is about avoidance.  Avoiding that which needs to be done.  All in all, I think it just falls into our patterns in life!  Mine is total avoidance!  I don't like to be bothered with things that don't make me happy.  But somethings that I avoid have deferred happiness.  Like cleaning the house!  Their IS a light at the end of the tunnel.  If I do it, the house WILL be clean!  So, WHY don't I just make that part of my pattern?

Well, unfortunately, I don't think that is possible.  There are new habits, but I fail to see how we can create new patterns.  Maybe I'm just looking at it from a shallow perspective, however, I think patterns are formed in childhood.  I truly am following the same patterns from my childhood.  And I work really hard to create new habits to overcome them.  However, I think it is exceptionally hard to undo what you were raised with and what formed you.

Take my weight loss for example.  I lost 52lbs and it took me 20 months to do so.  By the time I hit my goal, I was living a new lifestyle.  I had changed my habits enough to create all new ones.  But guess what....2 years later, after practicing my "new" lifestyle every day, I STILL find myself creeping into my old patterns.  They are SOOOO deeply buried into my soul, that they simmer up to the surface when I'm not paying attention.  In my heart of hearts, I still wanna sit on the couch with a bowl of ice cream when I have had a bad day.  And for the most part, I can talk myself out of it.  But what I remember, as a child, that my parents used to bring home all sorts of different ice creams to try.  And in my memory, I remember many a night bringing them their nightly bowl of ice cream (Banana Susanna was my fav). 

So, while you struggle to create good habits for yourself in your lifetime, know that you will always have those patterns that helped to form who you are!  Not that you can't change your life.....but you'll always be fighting something a little bit stronger than a new habit!!!