Following up on a "fail"

So, I was asked yesterday about the post I wrote, "

When the recipient misinterprets, then replies in writing themselves, adding another piece of the conversation left to misinterpretation by the original writer, who replies in defense of what they originally MEANT, but that in itself solidifies the original misinterpretation...and on, and on. .......what should the people involved DO to rectify the situation?

 

I loved this question, because it got me wondering?  How WOULD one rectify the situation?  I can only use my own personal experiences, so my answer will have to do mostly with......well, ME!!!  (Fair enough, right??)

 

I have two scenarios of 'failed email messages' that come to mind.  (I'm so proud....not)  I will leave out the gory details, cuz no one really cares about them.  So, I'll speak in generalities....

 

The first instance when my email was sent, I was able to rectify it with a very heated conversation, but fulfilling discussion that made everything 'cool'.  However, there were TWO people involved!  The OTHER person is one I do not have an ongoing relationship with, so it makes it tricky.  I see her at work, but we don't have regular dialog, and this poses a problem.  Though we spoke in person briefly, I DID follow our conversation up with a, "If you misunderstood me, I apologize." To which she replied, "Think nothing more of it."  And, though she said that I appreciated it, but felt that she didn't totally mean it. 

 

THIS is the problem with communicating with someone whom you don't see all the time and don't have a concrete relationship.  Concrete relationships take a lot of time to build.  So when sending messages, it is REALLY important to know your audience.  Now, in my defense, this situation was a work issue.  So I wrote it in a "work" manner with, "just the facts, ma'am".  I didn't really pad it; I just had to get it out there to fix my work issue.    I do believe my request will be heeded, but I'm sad for the work relationship, which now needs, well....WORK!  But whatever.  Some messages go bad and it's hard to recover.

As for the other message I sent a while go, this was a family issue and I thought I was 'okay' in expressing my feelings, but realized afterward that I was wrong!  And the whole thing went so far downhill, I thought I would lose my husband!  Yes...it was THAT bad!!  Nobody's perfect, that is for sure!!! (hubby did hang with me, thank GOD!)

I never sent it with bad intentions, but filters, and emotions got in the way of my "message" and it was miscontrued on too many levels to recover.  Would I send it again if given the chance?  NO WAY JOSE!!!  It wasn't worth it.  I honestly though we had a concrete relationship, because it's family.  But this email and the ones that followed made the relationship fall like a house built on sand  As for the reconciliation, I feel the feelings run so deep on both sides that healing may never totally happen.  Conversation isn't really an option, because in my side of things fear has built a brick wall.  I ADORE this family member to whom the ill-fated message was sent.  However, lets just say "I broke it", and I can't unbreak it. 

In summation, I feel that if your relationship bears continuing, email communication isn't always best.  If you have a concrete relationship with someone, it can be rectified.  But if you do not have a concrete relationship, you are putting yourself at risk. 

I did mention that I feel I am a pretty articulate person.  But whether or not one is articulate is not the question.  The question is more like, "How concrete is your relationship and how important is that message you are about to send?"