Wall-a-palooza

Yesterday was our dance banquet.  They did something fun this year and took it to a skating rink.

I was very excited by this.  Simply because I.love.skating.

In case you were wondering....YES.....this is where I go from "back when" to today...

I'm gonna say it.....  here we go.....

BACK WHEN I WAS A KID we spent the days outdoors.  Roller rinks were a regular thing and most of us didn't come home until the street lights came on!  (However, in Villa Park, I don't remember street lights......

Anyway.....let's just say that when I walked into that rink yesterday, I couldn't wait to get my skates on.  I didn't even sit with my kids while they got their skates from the counter.  I just put mine on and hit the floor.

I believe my first skates had metal wheels.  By the time I was an adult; you could find me at the rink skating adult nights every Thursday.

I didn't know anyone who couldn't skate.

So to skate around the rink and see all these kids hugging the walls was a bit of a surprise to me.  Until I realized it is more or less a sign of the times.

I remember as a kid NEVER wanting to be like my parents with all their 'stupid' stories of how they had to be creative and find things to do because they were poor, or whatever.  I was NEVER gonna be that parent!!

But I am.... And if you are a kid, reading this....YOU WILL BE TOO!!!!

You can't help but refer back to what you knew as a kid.  And there are times that things seem a bit appalling.  Thankfully, I'm surrounded by a lot of sweet kids.  But there are some kids who play their parents like a fiddle!!!   I know in my house growing up, there is no WAY that would happen.  But today, it's more common than not.

Seeing how kids don't skate was a reminder of how things had changed.    The funny thing was; if you knew these kids and you knew how incredibly talented they all are; how graceful or how agile - you would never guess it by the way some skated.  I actually found it hilarious.  And as I skated by some of the kids, backwards, I said, "Finally, something I can do better than YOU!!!"    I did have a lot of fun with it.

It was surprising to see that some of the best skaters were us adults.  But again, not a huge surprise!!!  We certainly enjoyed our time there!!!

These kids have worked really hard this year.  They are amazingly talented and it was a lot of fun to celebrate their accomplishments.  It's hard to believe another year has gone by.  I have watched my own kids grow leaps and bounds in ability and confidence.  Aspen actually got voted Most Valuable Dancer for her team.  We were both so surprised as there are so many great candidates in her dance.

It's really hard to look back at what I had and see what the kids of today have.  There really is no comparison; times have changed.  Kids aren't outside as much, so the inside 'sports' are taking over their lives. 

It's just times like skating, when I remember how much fun I had (and still have), I can't help but think my kids are cheated, just a little bit, on how much fun they could be having.  And the experiences they are missing out on.  And they are experiences within my control. 

I thought about getting my kids rollerblades and using them down at newport on the strand.  And if I don't get that far, then RSM Lake is also a perfect candidate. 

Just to get outside and enjoy the day. 

My goal this summer is to include some of those fun activities.  Along with hiking in Whiting Ranch (which is right up the road), and sunset visits to the lake.

We have a road trip planned this year.  I can't wait to enjoy those adventures.  I may even consider bringing my roller blades 'just in case.....'

Here's to a happy 'outdoors' childhood!!

Happy Saturday!

And she says it again.....

I must be having a brain cramp.  I thought it was 8:15 and it's only 7:15.  I have a whole hour extra today!  WOW.... 

I'm hoping today goes better than the last week or so.  I have been pretty high strung and feeling like I'm in the middle of a bunch of stuff I don't want to be in the middle of.

Like anything I say to anyone will be taken wrong and be elevated to the next level.

I also think my filters are off.  I'm hearing and interpreting things 'probably' not as they are said?  I don't know.  I just know that the closet sounds like a nice place to camp out for a while.

Ever feel that way?

I have said it before; I'm a slow processor.  My brain has to evaluate every angle of something so it can move forward.  "Proceed with Caution" as it were!!!

I used to think something was wrong with me until I met a fascinating man.  He said, "My wife and I are totally different.  She mulls things over, while I know right away.  So what I do, is I write her a note in the morning about what I want to discuss, and we talk about it when we get home from work."

WOW....Seriously???  

Yes, indeed.  A man who recognizes the communicative differences in other human beings......

I had never really thought about it until then.  And I don't think I realized that I was exactly like his wife, until I met my husband. 

I have said it before; I am surrounded by people with quick brains.  I'm not sure if that is by design, or that there are so few of "me" out there, that I'm screwed!

Catch me in an argument, and I'm dead in the water.  I got into an argument with my roomie from PS and I only now am able to put together the pieces.  We are talking slllloooowwwww!!!

My hubby gets mad because I tend to shut down when we are "discussing" things.  Many times I will write him after the conversation breaks down.  Interestingly enough, I can write my feelings WAY better than I can speak them.  Does that make ANY SENSE whatsoever??? 

But when I'm writing, I'm not thinking of someone else's shortcomings; I'm thinking more from a situational standpoint.  As there is no face in front of me, I can be a bit more objective.  And therefore my communication is way more focused.

Now, I'm not saying I can't throw down, because there are times my articulate-ness comes flying through.  If you get me in a situation where I'm passionate about something, then YOU are dead in the water. 

I think my issue comes more from a not wanting to blame place.  I hate the word BLAME.....

I was recently told by someone, "I'm not taking the blame for this".  And I found it intriguing.

To Blame is to basically say, "This WHOLE situation is YOUR FAULT!!!" 
And if that is the case, then fine.  But more often than not, I find that the issue is lack of communication and understanding, personality differences, or plain old indifference.

More often than not; when I argue with something, communication has failed.  Plain and simple.

Sadly we aren't taught to communicate.   If you came from my family, I had to teach myself to do it.  My family said nothing!!! 

Thankfully, I attached myself to a lot of people who had a lot to say.  So I learned the art of communication pretty well.  It doesn't mean I use it all the time.  But I certainly know how to!!!

In the last few months of being overwhelmed with my life, I have communicated less to my kids.  I "tell" them things, but don't communicate a lot.

Yesterday, I told Avery something and she got really mad at me.  She then proceeded to go to her room, lay on the floor and open and close the door with her foot.  As the door squeaks and I'm trying to work this sound was annoying me.  So I walked out of my office and looked at her (clearly P-d off on the floor) and I said, "That's really annoying...is that NECESSARY?"   With her pouty face, she looked at me and said in a very pouty voice, "Yes...."   For a nano second I was gonna get mad at her.  But the look on her face - the disappointment and lack of understanding - made me drop my head a bit and smile at her.  I couldn't deny it.  She was trying to tell me something.

So I went over and sat on the floor next to her and told her exactly why I needed her to do what she was told.  I explained it in simple terms and asked her questions to think about what I was saying. 

After a few minutes I could see she got it.  And her demeanor changed.  I swear that kid gets me every time.  She is just like me in she can't hide her feelings.  And she also has a hard time processing her anger.  I have to work with her quite a bit because I know EXACTLY how she feels!!!

More often than not the only thing that calms her down is communication.  When I can identify how she is feeling 'for her' it makes her feel much better.

Wow....I just went in a few different directions, didn't I.  There goes that extra hour I was talking about!!!

Just remember an ounce of frustration can be handled with an ounce of communication and a dash of understanding.   Easier said than done most times, but practice makes perfect!!

Happy Friday!!

Nice Parenting......

What kind of mom doesn't want to plan her daughters birthday party? 

This mom!

My poor child is practically chasing me around the house trying to plan her birthday party.  She has the list, the ideas, the day, the time, and ideas for the 'goodie bags'.....all I have to do is pull the trigger.

And what do I do?  I find myself running around the house trying to avoid her and not give eye contact for fear that she'll "Get me".

How pathetic am I???

This time of year always makes me cringe.  I am NOT a planner!!!  (May I remind you the Mothers day where I forgot to invite the Mother???)

She wants a sleepover - I don't.
She wants it at the house - I don't.
She wants a ton of activities - I have to officiate

She even knows who she wants to make her cake (and it's not me).

So what is my opposition?  Someone's feelings always get hurt.

Birthday's have stressed me out since they were little.  I think the only one I really enjoyed was Aspen's 1st bday.  There were 50 people there - all adults.  It was at a park and it was hotter than Hades outside.  Poor Aspen had a random fever (which she has suffered at least 4 of her birthdays - weird) and I was so excited to celebrate her first year!!!  Easy peasy.

Now, fast forward 11 years and I'm fit to be tied.....and put in a corner.....because I don't wanna do it.

One year in particular, I had to tell a friend that her daughter wasn't invited.  I was crushed.  Another year I lied to a friend saying we didn't have a party. 

It just kills me!

My husband rolls his eyes, "Just do it.  What's the big deal?"  Ya.....what's the big deal (mom's help me out here).

It's become a well-versed thing for my kids, "Don't tell your friends you are going to so and so's party, because not EVERYONE was invited!"  UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

We just went through that recently with a party one of the girls was invited to.  It's just crazy!!!

Do you remember such fuss when WE were growing up???  I got handed a few bucks to go to Ralph's and buy a "day old" cake.  (Yes, I'm serious).  I remember one year my cake was even lopsided.  There was 3 inches of icing on one side and barely a mm of icing on the other.  I remember my sister laughing her head off at me about it.  SHE PICKED IT OUT!!!  Brat!  I think I ended up laughing too....after the tears of course.

It's not that I don't want to celebrate my kids.  We always have a family birthday and that is fun.  But the friends thing is just a little more complicated than I wish to engage.

The sad part in all this, poor Avery said (after hours of my avoidance)....doesn't ANYONE want to talk about my birthday???  (Gosh, I suck as a mom!!!!)

If my husband loves me, he will step up to the plate.  (hint hint).....  But my feeling is we will go forward with this.  For goodness sake, it's already planned!!!  I just have to throw out the Evite (doesn't get any easier than that) and do it.

Please wish me luck that no little hearts get hurt and that my children can keep quiet.  If I go forward with this, it may be a VERY small offering.  Her list is pretty long, and I'm just not that rich to get all those goodie bags and all the stuff she wants in it......

So glad it's a summer birthday....  School year birthdays everyone's feelings get hurt!!

Here's to happy birthdays for all!

Happy Thursday

More Blah blah blah

There is something about coming home.  Walking in the door with familiar faces and surroundings.  There is somthing about the comfort of a routine.

Funny how snuggling down to what you know brings you a sense of peace.

My mind was abuzz with all the fun we can have this summer but within minutes of being home, Aspen found a class she wanted to take and we were back out the door.  By the time she started her class, we had her signed up for at least 8 hours a week in classes. 

So it continues.  And we haven't even scheduled Avery yet...... 

I don't know why I feel I deserve a break.  But I sure like when they happen.  Apprarently it isn't in the cards any time soon, which is okay.

I think at this point, I wouldn't know what to do with a break.

People who have had children seem to get it.  Kids can take over your life.  Between that and my photography business, my day is pretty well booked.  My goal is to be able to find niches of time to enjoy the kids this summer.

The weather has been mild, which is nice.  When in Palm Springs we were hit with 114 degree heat.  When we came home it was 'only' 90.  Aspen said, "Mom, we'll need a jacket here!"  LOL  Too cute!

I feel such a sense of relieve having the summer off.  "Off" being figurative and not literal! 

I remember when I was having Aspen and I thought being home with her when I was off work would give me plenty of time to relax.  ......   LOL.....  Ever have a baby???  There IS no time!

It's the same now.  "off" work, and no time.  But that's okay.  I have many plans to keep me busy.  I may take some time off my blog, but I'm not sure.  It's become a part of me and it gets me thinking so as of now, I will keep it going.  But there are times I sit down and it's hard to formulate anything in my brain!!!

I spent the weekend in a room with a friend.  I watched her immediately start organizing the room.  I don't have this gene, so I just watched her.  She was very methodical.  I was quite impressed.   She actually put away some of the girls costumes too.  The only problem was, I couldn't find them.  Outta site outta mind.  It was 6:30 am and I was doing my best not to wake anyone and I didn't even think that Avery's costume might actually be in the closet hanging up!!!  LOL  Only me, I swear!!!

My point was; as I watched her very organized ways, I was made very aware that my brain does not compute that on any level.  I wish to GOD it did, but ask my sister.....it ain't there!!  (insert sad face).

HOWEVER..... that's my point for the summer.  Trying to get some of that 'stuff' going on for myself!

But for today, (first day back from Palm Springs), I'm gonna take it easy and start making my lists.  I once saw a friend's white board categorized with all her summer chores.  I was so impressed, I think I will start there with the girls.  Chris has been offering to bring some white boards home, and it's very possible we have a place for them now!!!! 

I hope your summer is relaxing and fun.  Remember, kids are only little once!  They will NEVER be THIS age again, ever!!!  So take advantage of every single moment!

This weekend at Palm Springs was a huge reminder of that!!!  As I watched my friends daughter perform for AND WIN National Championships, I was teary eyed and full of pride!!!  I tried to take in every single moment of there dance, and record in my mind the sounds of the screams and cheers when their names were called!!!  I can still feel the excitement in my heart!!!

 Next year will be completely different.  They will be older.

Enjoy today!! It's all we have!

Happy Wednesday!

Done Deal

OMG......it's over!!!  How did that happen so fast????,
Now,  I gotta admit; for the most part, it didn't feel fast.  There were times I wondered "How long have we been here?"  And yesterday, I'm telling you, I'm not the ONLY one who melted down. 

I was thinking we should do a body count of children, because I saw a number of people who were SO done with their children; and I saw a ton of children melting down.

The pressure, the heat, the lodging, the foraging for food, the WAITING......  eventually somethings gotta give, right???  Well, it did.  I saw so many parents with "those" faces, trailing their kids in the halls with their own version of misery.   In some ways it was a little comical.  As I make up stories in my head, it was a fun day.....until I had my own meltdown.

I struggle with anxiety.  I manage it pretty well at home, because life is almost predictable there.  But when you travel, you take all predictability out of the equation.  Throw in TONS of people and having to search for your kids MULTIPLE times throughout the day, and VOILA!!!!  Recipe for disaster. (for me anyways).

The one thing that is so hard about anxiety, is people don't realize how it festers inside of you.  I fight with myself all day long to maintain control.  There are times I want to absolutely lose it, and I'm usually told that it's not apparent.  For that I am thankful.

However, when I blow....there is NO turning back.  I spin out of control and it's a done deal.  The best I can hope for is a closet to hide in.

Last night there was no closet.

I just hope the damage doesn't scar my children who are becoming well versed in anxiety.  I'm very thankful for them.  I talk to them about  how I'm feeling, so when I lash out they know it's not them.  They may not understand it, but they don't have to take the fall for it either. 

This weekend has been an amazing and emotional one.  I have seen parents at their wits end with their kids and I have seen kids at their wits end with their parents.

There have been times I have laughed, because I can tell what's going on without even asking.
Yesterday, I watched a girl demand something from her mom, and the mom very calmly said; YOU can go back to your seat; come back and ask me again nicely....  The little girl did just that!  I laughed so hard.

Competition is a mixed blessing.  It's a quick vacation that you never would have taken... but then it's a lot of dead time in between.

I have realized before I'm not a "lounging" vacationer.  To sit by the pool is not my idea of fun.  I think I really like sightseeing and doing stuff.

But the fun side of all this has been getting to hang with the parents.

Yes..there has been drama.  And I have been in some of it.  But I think much of that comes from the heat, and the unpredictable living circumstances.

Thankfully, everything turned out okay.  I just wish I could take it back.  Ughhhh......

But as I leave this competition, the drama will be left behind.  I will be left with the great memories of our very first Mom's dance and the fact that we moms FINALLY got to share a Nationals experience with our kids.  As I exited the stage yesterday, with trembling hands, I was faced with two beauties trying to get to me for a hug!!!  What a proud and great moment!!!

This competition was a lot easier for us.  I think we realized we had it in us, we just had to deliver it.  And I think we did!!  Will we ever be at Olympic levels?  Probably not.  But that isn't the point now is it.  It's that we committed to something, stuck it out and showed our kids that when we sign up for something WE FOLLOW THROUGH!!!!!    So, I'm proud to be that example for my children, because there were a few brief moments along the way where I thought about bolting.  But when I thought of my children, I realized I want to do the best that I can and be proud of myself for that!

And I was......  more importantly, so were they!!!  Talk about great moments!!

Thank you MV Dance and Mookie for giving us this opportunity to show us we CAN do it!!  You took a group of moms and you delivered us to NATIONALS!!

Many of us started out thinking, "I can't do this!".....  And we are leaving with a feeling of, "If I could do THIS...What ELSE can I do?"   You may have just created a monster.   And for that we are grateful!!!

Thank you....from the ORIGINAL MV Mom Crew!!!!

Teamwork

We are quite the team, let me tell you! NOT the dancers....but the MOMs!!! As I am sitting in my room, Aspen has been escorted with another friend and her mom. This whole weekend has been about coordination, and teamwork. And it really makes for a pleasant experience. Three of us moms worked on coordinating food, drinks, and luckily, we are place right next to each other in our rooms. Sandy brought breakfast stuff, and we brought lunch and dinner stuff. Both of us brought various snacks, so we are covered with food, minimizing the expense of all the food. I bring the coffee maker for our daily coffe latte drinks, and sandy has been great with the cocktails, we are covered on all ends! I remember last year at the pool; one of the moms said, "THIS is why we do competition!". As I looked around at all the kids and all the parents, I realized, she was right. What fun it was to see all our kids who have worked so hard, actually enjoying each others company. It has been said many times this week how great our studio is in regards to the children and how respectful and supportive they are of each other. But as I think of how well the parents work together to coordinate and cover for each other in so many ways, I can see that we are a good example for our children. Did I just toot my own horn? You betcha! This week, we have been a pretty seamless team. Yesterday, chris took the kids to the pool while I worked, and when we all came up to the room, I relieved her of duty with mine hers and other peoples children. It was a pass off as easy as a relay....... This morning, I texted sandy about coffee.... She said yes. As I delivered her coffee, I grabbed a bagel and cream cheese from her room and had breakfast. How nice is that? Today we are competing as the moms group. And Aspen goes on this morning. It is a bittersweet day, because this marks the last day of our competition season. On some levels it is a relief. No more make up....no more bling....no more ready times. But on the other hand, there is no more pool party, and no more awards..... Today I will do my best to mark the day with lots of pictures. I will look for Sayde and Emily to see if they are wearing yet another matching shirt set. I will see if Miranda is ready for another close up. And I will watch all the kids climb on mookie like an E-ticket ride. I will do my best to catch it all, because tomorrow is another year away. And though I am sure today will feel like yesterday next year at this time.... As I am sitting and writing, it feels like a long ways away!! Enjoy the moments. They are all we have. Happy Monday

Avery's Day

Competition day!  Woohooo.....  Avery goes on at 9:20.

We had to get up extra early as her call time was 8am.  I was paranoid to miss waking up, so I made sure two alarm clocks ready to go.  But as it turned out, I didn't need it, because I couldn't sleep!
It's just bad as a night before traveling.  Every time I got up, it was way earlier than I needed to be up.

And then my favorite is waking up one hour before I'm supposed to be up.  Not nearly enough time to go back to sleep as I will wake up groggy and exhausted.  So I laid down for another half hour with my mind running crazy!!!  I really hate that!!

Then as it turned out, one of my alarm clocks drained of battery.... SO it was a blessing I didn't fall back asleep!!

I worried about getting Avery out of bed, because she is like me....a bear in the morning.  However, I whispered in her ear and she quietly got out of bed and joined me in the bathroom.  As we were both getting ready, she did what she could for herself; and then waited for me to finish the rest. 

She was so funny, because she was insistant she could do her own hair.  I assured her she was right.  She COULD do her own hair..... for dance class.  But NOT SO MUCH for competition!  So I grabbed her comb and worked my magic.  Only turns out "my" magic isn't quite good enough for competition either......  Thank GOD for the dance teachers.  I won't lie; I had a feeling as I was doing it, but I wasn't gonna show fear in front of my daughter!  LOL

As we rolled into the convention center we were the 4th to arrive for the team.  I'm so glad we weren't last.  It gave us enough time to get Avery's hair fixed.

As I write, I am waiting for Avery to go on.  I'm wedged in a corner on the floor with my laptop, ready to get some work done while I wait.

Competition is such a funny thing.  So many people just sitting here waiting.

I'm with a group and we are all waiting for the dance.  When our team comes on, we will run from our corner, cheer on our team, screaming and whistling as loud as we can; and then return to our corner.

Okay.....she just danced.  Loved it.  They did a great job!

It is so exhilarating to see your child on stage working together as a team.  I'm so proud of this team as they have pulled of a few Platinums.  It's just amazing how quickly the time goes on stage vs the amount of time put into the dance.  It goes so quickly.

Tomorrow is the big day.  Most of the girls we are with will be dancing and then mom's dance goes on tomorrow night.  I'm excited and nervous.  I'm already staring at the stage visualizing myself out there.  I think that will help calm my nerves.  The other thing is with nationals, people are coming and going, so there won't be as many people staring at us, which is nice. 

This is it for us.  So I think we will be much calmer than in the past. 

Our teacher is already talking about 'next years' routine..... I think I'm in for anotehr go-round.  But I guess we will have to see about that.

Best of Luck to all the Teams out there!!! 
Happy Sunday